Seeler, the only thing that strikes me as odd is that you have a girlfriend.  I thought you and your husband were monogamous ;)

More seriously, I don't think we should rejoice for how it is now, as there are people who would find the situation you mentioned above to be odd.  I'm more sad about how it used to be.

My husband and I have mutual friends (which I think is usually how most people initially meet), as well as our own friends, both male and female.  When we were dating, he came to visit me during exams, but I also needed to study.  He and my sister went to a craft sale and had THE BEST TIME EVER.  I was jealous that I wasn't there for the fun, but that was it.

swingers make the world go round :3

One of the gifts of feminism is that women stopped being seen as sexual objects of men.  One of the gifts of gay liberation was the realisation that it is not only women who man can carry on sexual realtionships with.

This I believe leads us to a state where both men and women had to grow up and realise the need to bulild relationships based on equality and the mutual need to trust.

This is good.

Young men and women in their twenties just have no idea about all the old rules, because they know trust and relationships bulit in honesty and respect are what works. They are truely blessed.

It sounds ok to me seeler.  In both cases the interaction with a friend's partner was known about, open and acceptable.

I find myself thinking about the minister who was single and living in a small town.  A woman from the congregation brought something to his house (by arrangement).  Her car wouldn't start when she went back out.  The minister phoned the repair shop and made arrangements for it to be picked up in the morning and gave her a ride home,

The next day the minister was verbally attacked by a female member of the congregation who accused him of having sex with the first woman.  The minister quietly asked why she thought such a thing.  She replied - because her car was outside your house all night.

That night the minister went outside quite late, drove his car to the 'accusers' house and parked it outside.  Then he strolled home whistling cheerfully.

chemgal, what does me having girlfriends have to do with my husband and I being monogamous?

Seeler, would you call your male friends boyfriends?  I was just teasing, hence the wink. :)

Chemgal - the same thought came to my mind - LOL! 

Seeler - Chemgal and I were imagining that you were in a lesbian relationship with your girlfriend.

Must be a generation thing.....

To someone 60+ a girlfriend is a friend who is a woman. I knew what Seeler meant....

My "best girlfriend' and I have been friends for longer than we knew our husbands - I must admit that the term "girl" needs a heck of a lot of imagination........

A young married woman I know (to a man!) mentioned to me about her "girl crush" - I don't know if she meant a lesbian relationship or not.......??

When I was working I often went for drinks with some male colleagues - but there was an unspoken rule that a married woman didn't go for drinks with just one man.....

Pilgrims - I knew what she meant too (and I suspect Chemgal did too), I just had fun twisting her words in my head.  

Your friend who talked about her "girl crush" was likely talking about a woman that she thought was physically and/or intellectually attractive.

Somegal, I'm glad you got my sense of humour!  People my age do use the term girlfriend like that as well, I just thought in this instance, when there's the suggestion as to where something was scandalous to have fun with it.

Chemgal - I suspected that you were having fun with it, but it is hard to tell when we can't see expressions or hear the tone of voice.  And I often walk around with my foot in my mouth from saying the wrong thing or giving the wrong impression. 

I do appreciate living in a time and a culture where I can get a ride home from a church meeting with Jack, or Bill (who is gay), or Sally or Sam.   And Seelerman can spend a day helping Mabel.  And no one lifts an eyebrow.  

In some countries it would be illegal, even today.  Fifty years ago in my part of the world it would be uncomfortable and cause for gossip.    Today it's, "Is anybody going my way who could give me a lift?"  or "Does anybody have a morning free to give me a a hand?" 

We've come a long way.  And its freedom and equality that we need to appreciate and guard.  

Seeler, you've reminded me of something. A few years ago, a minister from Zimbabwe did an internship at my church. I was on his support committee and it was a very interesting experience. There was a member of our congregation who, at the time, was new and he taught us a lot about the cultural taboos in that country - learnings which we used to prepare for that minister's time with us. We learned that it would be taboo for him to stay with a single woman, a disabled person or a homosexual person/couple - amongst other things. We put a lot of thought into it and decided to challenge those taboos. We had him stay with people for a month at a time and eased him into it - first he stayed with a "typical" family (mom, dad, three teenaged kids - where the men were just as likely to cook and clean as the women and the women were just as likely to do the physical labour as the men) and next he was placed with an older couple. By the end of his second month we knew that he was up for anything so he spent the next two months with single women and his final month was spent with a gay man. We did have one person volunteer to host him who was a single, lesbian, disabled woman but we felt that this might be pushing things a little too far. Getting to know this minister from Zimbabwe was a wonderful experience and I think everyone learned a lot from it!

Seeler, my husband goes to a woman's house once every week as a tutor. She has a husband, and I can't say the thought hasn't come to me, but I trust him, and I know I have nothing to fear, yet still I'm glad to see him when he gets back. Yes I am glad we live in a culture where this can happen.  I can't say he would be as ok with it if it were me though.

Hi Seeler,

It has been 10 days now.  If your friend hasn't brought your husband back yet, you should be concerned.

Grace and peace to you.

John

Hi John.  They were back before dinner that same day, but he reports they had a pleasant lunch together and she picked up the tab.   Modern woman.

I see nothing wrong with having a friend of the opposite sex. I relate way better to men then I do to women. I am a forthright person and my male friends are also forthright. Women in my experience, hide more of themselves than men do.

Good point MusicSoothes. I like guy friends too. I don't have the problems with them that I do with women sometimes. Men are less tesky!