Well, i have never been in such a position but i think maybe you should tell her that you are very worried about her and the road she is going down. Tell her that her binge drinking is making you worry because you have been down the same/similar path. When you talk with her about it try not to sound angry but rather worried about her. I wish i had more advice to give but i haven't had experience with a friend like this, maybe some older/more mature/more experienced customers of the cafe can give you some better advice and say if what i said is a good or bad way to approach things. You and your friend are both in my thoughts, good luck.

peace

First I'd recommend praying. Give it up to GOD. He knows Peggy and loves her too. Next, tell her that you care for her and are really concerned about what she's doing. You've dealt with substance abuse so you can talk to her from a point of experience. Maybe that will help. Let her know that you care and that you'll be there for her. It'd be great if she turns around right there but it's unlikely. Don't take that as a failure though. Perhaps your show of friendship and support will plant a seed. Even if that seed doesn't appear to do anything right away GOD might water it and bring it to fruition later down the road. Next, and I urge this strongest of all, give yourself a break. You are a good and caring person, but you are not superman. You can't save someone who isn't ready and you shouldn't beat yourself up for being human. I feel anguish in your post and I'm sorry that you're hurting so bad. Please don't write her off, but be willing to take the long view. It's awful to say this but maybe she hasn't hit bottom yet and won't look to change until she does. I remember a really old P.S.A. starring Belinda Carlisle who said she "got sick and tired of being sick and tired". Maybe Peggy isn't that sick and tired of things yet. I imagine the time will come and I just hope that it isn't too bad when she reaches that point and I hope you're still in a position to help her on the road back. Both of you are in my prayers.

you are just going to have to admit to yourself that the best thing you can do is just stand back and let her go down.  its important that she hit ROCK BOTTOM on this... if you enable her on any of this, it gives her a crutch and she'll just keep going.

i'd attend a few 'al-anon' meetings or something... the ones for those around the alcoholics.  they will give you a better idea of what you have to do.

Wait till she screws up (either sick or in trouble) then try to get her to an AA meeting (it wouldn't hurt you to attend).

I've been sober 26 years, but  almost drank myself to death in my early thirties.

I personally think that the friends we make are a direct result of the reflection we give off. If she is abusing herself, she will attract into her life those who are abusive and abused. Likewise for yourself, if you want good friends---BE ONE!

I'm thinking you should remain her friend if only to offer her the chance to see that life can be better. In the meantime you should ground yourself with friends that are reflecting your new attitude and encourage your own recovery.

At one time you may have joined her in her downward spiral but because you are changing you now can see the destructiveness of her choices. Her choices are no longer yours. Don't be surprised if she doesn't want you around because of this---you're different now and she knows it.

You can rescue yourself or let others drown you with them

People in destructive lifestyles have a death wish they don't really want help they just like to whine a lot

Hey how bout finding some positive friends who embrace life instead

I feel like it's more up to her to solve problems in her life right now.

"got sick and tired of being sick and tired".

The first thing I did was pray, the second thing I did was cry, and lastly, I left it up to God to decide. I believe prayers can be powerful. Today Peggy called me and more or less admitted how wrong she was to "go with the flow". I believe my tough love helped. She is no longer with her ex. She does want to stop binging, but she just needs more support (all her friends drink besides me). At the end of the month she gets vacation time, and she is going back home to spend time with family, including her adopted daughter. I go to meetings myself. It might be a hard sell getting her to go with me, but its worth a shot. She was never much of a drinker before. All I can do is be there for her, hoping and praying. Thanks everyone. I've learned, yet another lesson, on what it takes to love. ~*~ God Bless ~*~

Sounds promising if.i.were.a.boy. You're right that prayer can be powerful. Please keep us updated.

it sound like everything will work out ^_^

its a tough lesson indeed... its a lesson that i have had to endure a few times with one particular friend of mine as well. 

if you ever get any solid answers on this stuff, please share them with me.