I am someone who has had the priviledge of getting to know several people with Downs and other developmental disabilities - including several children. I used to take one of those children on the bus every day - she has a severe form of Down Syndrome. Amongst other things, she is non-verbal and at the time she required a wheelchair. Taking her on the bus meant that I saw the best and worst of humanity when I travelled with her. Some able-bodied would get quite rude when I asked them to stand up so that I could use the wheelchair seating area - some would even pretend not to hear me asking. Some would make comments about how she would never be able to do this, that or the other, which always made me angry because how could they possibly know that? Others, however, were quite lovely. Since we took the same bus every day, some of the regular passengers and drivers became like friends - asking how she was doing and stopping to give her high fives (which she absolutely loves).

With that background, I can say with a fair amount of certainty that I would stick up for the bagger using a polite language with a firm voice.

That's a great video and the message is really important.  I hate to admit it, but I'm probably someone who would make the faces and if the jerk tried to bring me in to it with a "You know what I mean?" I'd probably respond with a very annoyed "Whatever" and try to avoid eye contact.  If pressed, I'd stand up for the person, but if not I"d probably wait until the idiot left and then make some comments to the cashier and bagger about how horrible he/she was and apologize on behalf of the entire human race that anyone could be that cruel.  I'd be uncomfortable and even afraid to get involved.  I also think I'd be more likely to speak up if it were a teenager than another adult.  I should make an effort to be stronger in all of these kinds of situations, especially since I had a chance to teach art to a developmental disabilities class last year and the kids were so great.  They were a lot of fun to work with and they could do much, much more than I would have ever believed before working with them.

MistsofSpring, I believe that most people would feel as you do.  Few people want confrontation, particularly with strangers, and I don't believe that is a bad thing ... the last thing this world needs is more conflict.

I do believe the behaviour can be addressed without conflict ... when someone is abusing another and asks for support, ie "don't you agree", a simple "No" is sufficient.

I also believe the most important action is to affirm the "target" of the abuse.  Instead of directing comments to the abuser, look at the other person and say "you're doing a great job"

I too found it interesting people were more likely to confront the teenagers and the manner in which it was done, at least to my eye, was more hopeful than fearful.  I interpreted that people thought the younger person's attitude could be changed where the "adult" was a lost cause.

There is in these situations also a "mob" mentality at work. 

I suspect if others in the line had behaved in one direction or the other, it would have changed the scenario ... except for those fearless women who never tolerate such behaviour.

Young man, what would your mother think!

   My Grandmother successfully thwarting a mugger

How would I handle the situation like we saw of a person abusing an obviously disadvantaged individual?   Probably like many of the people on the video.  I probably wouldn't say much and hope that the abuser might calm down or soon exit.  I might wonder if my interference might make the situation worse - drawing it out, attracting more attention, maybe embarrassing the victim who might be hopeing that no one else noticed how he was being humilitated.   Afterwards I might go out of my way to complement the young man on how carefully he packed my groceries and how much I enjoyed seeing him each week.   I might also speak to the manager, praising the young man's work and / or complaining about the customer.  If he is a regular the management might want to know how he treats their employees. 

That said, I think the situation might be different if the victim wasn't noticably challanged.   If he looked normal and just seemed to be indifferent or not paying attention, or not bothering to think.   I used to get very annoyed at service in a coffee shop.  I would go in with a friend, together.   The waiter would take my order.   A medium coffee and a sandwich.   He would pour my coffee.  Then he would slowly make my sandwich.  Then he would check me through the cast.   And finally repeat with my friend.   I wanted to yell at him:   make both our sandwiches, then pour both coffees, then check us through.   Coffee would be cold, and I would be standing waiting for my friend - or if I was hungry I might start nibbling and be half done by the time she was served.    Later I learned that this coffee shop is known for hiring the handicapped.   I still think a bit more training would have helped the situation.  

This situation certainly shows how our moral courage can flag in the face of peer pressure. I'm sure those people tacitly agreed with the other woman because they were afraid to take a stand against her, and they questioned their own right to do so. They also just wanted to get on with the business of their day.

Kind of like the guy bagging the groceries.

What I've seen most often, however, is erasure. I think that's more common. Instead of addressing someone with a disablily directly, people tend to look for someone who's "In Charge" -- often to ask what the disabled person wants!!!  Another example swings in the opposite direction by removing responsibility and accountability (She's disabled and can't deal with any consequences for behaviour). Ignoring, doing things for people that they don't need someone else to do for them -- all very well intentioned but disrespectiful. Best question to ask is how you would feel being treated like a child all the time?

I would have to say something.  I'm not sure what - but something!!!!  I think what I would say would depend on the situation and my mood.  I would say something whether it was an adult, a teenager, the mayor of my town, or the Queen of England.

I'd be speaking up.  And if my husband was with me, he'd probably be shushing me ... he hates 'conflict' of any kind... but he'd have kind words for the packer once the offender left.  At least that's what I imagine would happen.

We have several people with disbilities working at my hospital.  They're mostly well respected, but I have heard a few of 'the guys' teasing them on occasion - they seem to cope with it, but I often comment to the teaser. 

Ah, the not so visibly handicapped; they are a test of our compassionate natures.

Time is a thing each of us perceives differently.  Having worked in the service industry almost all my life I can testify to this.  I have had customers complain of "slow" service and I have had customers complain of "rushed" service ... the service provided was the same.

A line I adopted was provided by one of our suppliers "Hurry up and Wait".  This is a favourite one up here in cottage country, where people who come are supposedly here to get away from the hustle and bustle yet create it because they are in a real hurry to do nothing.

I confess I do not understand the rush.  I'd much rather have someone go slow, do it right the first time, than deal with the "abled" hurriedly screwing up my order.  In my experience both end up taking the same amount of time.  Yet even my patience is tested by the "complainer" who slows the entire process down by distracting every one with their complaint ;-)

There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.
        Mahatma Gandhi

Great video.

I think I would speak up, but it might depend on the circumstances.  Interesting that women more often spoke in defence of people than men. 

I was not complaining of slow service (or of fast service).   I was complaining of poor service.   And no, I didn't complain to the server, or within his/her hearing.   I do wonder though why management doesn't provide a bit more training and supervision. 

Like:    Ask if the people are together.   Prepare one sandwich, then the other.  Pour two coffees.  Check out one customer, then the other.   

I can't see that it is any harder than pouring a coffee, making a sandwich, checking the first customer through, and then repeating the process.  It probably takes the same amount of time, but the customers get their meals together and the coffee is still hot.  

As a person who has a disability himself, I would have to speak out about any abuse going on.

And yet, I don't know that it's wrong to stop someone from having a specific job because of a disability. I notice, for example, that not many paraplegic people get hired to be Mounties. Not many blind people get hired to be movie critics. Most of us epileptics should not be hired to be professional drivers.

Imho, if someone can't do a job well, which in the case of a grocery bagger would include speed, they shouldn't hold the job.

Morning Calm - watch the video again.  Do you see any evidence that the grocery bagger is holding up the line an unreasonable amount of time.  He is being careful and thorough.  He's not breaking the eggs.  Probably he is packing at about the same rate the cashier is ringing the customers through.   The young lad who goes show him 'See how fast I'm doing it,' would probably break my eggs, and fill my bags too heavy for me (an old person) to carry.   Speed isn't everything.   Also, he seems to be working pretty steadily, even under abuse.  He isn't stopping to socialize with someone at the next counter.  He isn't even slowing down or stopping to argue with his abuser.  He probably puts through as many groceries during his shift and the average bagger.

I use a gracery store that hires a few young men with Downs syndrome.  They are courteous, helpful and  very diligent workers.

One fellow retrieves the carts from the parking lot and he is so speedy he often has to help you put the bags in your car so he can grab the cart.

the other helps in the store, bagging, shelving, tidying up.

i have never seen anyone be anything but friendly to them.

If I was in line and witnessed them i would confront the person loudly.  i woudl also do that if the person being abused was not visibly challenged but just perhaps new.