sometimes you know with every molecule of your body

that the relationship is no longer life giving

In my case it was not healthly for me or my children.

Yes there was counselling-and a chance to name what was needed to make it work

and my ex clearly stated-I will not do that

I was a dvised to leave by a counsellor, a minister and my doctor.

I did

Life was not easy-but it was not crazy making either!

 I just watched the movie Fireproof. I thought it was great. I am not married but fear that I will be unsuccessful. Likely by my own fault and letting outside sources in. I met someone at church and have lots of fear around that person. I know they are single. My insecurities are comign up. the person is well respected in the church and in my opinion is very handsome. They have been married once before and the amrriage ended in divorce. Having never been married I don't even have any broken relationships to improve on. Well many didn't work out.  It's very lonely being in a relationship with a workoholic or a people pleaser. I've been setting up more boundaries for myself as I have family members wo try to place lots of quilt and expectations on me. A very needy mother who in my opinion has not had successful realtionships.

   I keep thinking there is soemthing wrong with me. I'll keep praying and asking God to show me the way.

 I'll just keep praying. If it is meant to be God will work it out.  Those are my prayers right now. I pray for God to send me a husband and a family and a home. i would appreciate your prayers also.

All break-ups need some clean up and work through afterwards, otherwise you won't learn from your experience.There is a normal process of sadness over loss, anger, maybe blaming, that goes with that. Compassion might come once the old feelings have cooled down.

When I married my Ex, I had prayed for clarification, too. I didn't get an answer. Maybe, I should have taken that as a no. Instead, I went with the dreams and made up a picture I had of the other and the idyllic dream that "we will change together".

Unfortunately, we weren't a match- didn't know eachother enough when we made that vow and had we known, we would have known that we were not meant for eachother.

I think, God stays out of our bad decisions. He might console us when we clean up the mess, but he doesn't solve the problems for us, nor miraculously "changes" people to be "better". It's our soul work, our social skills that make or break the deal.

I think these comments are far to polite...and no one really ever wants to step up and really say what needs to be said.  Gladys Knight says it best in her hit song, "Neither One Of Us Wants To Be The First To Say Goodbye". Well, when its over...its over...stop trying to be kind and compassionate and think of yourself and getting on with your life.