Today I parked my car in a parking lot and walked about 20 feet away and heard the loud telling crunch of one car hitting another.  I turned around and saw a minivan making its way around my car so I started walking back.  I could see that it had hit my car.  The driver saw me walking back and looked right at me and then drove right past me and out of the parking lot.  It happened so fast that I didn't get a license plate number.  There were 2 witnesses and they didn't get a license plate number either.

So I'm a little ticked.  I'll pay the deductable to have my car fixed.  The other driver gets off without a consequence.  I called the police non-emergency number and they said that all I could do was to report the accident.  That since I didn't have a "suspect" (their word choice on the phone) there would be no follow-up.

Did I think that the police should come?  Not really.  I wasn't hurt.  They wouldn't have any information to go on.  And I'm sure that my city has bigger problems to deal with.

But I am so tired of other drivers who like to have the privilege of driving without taking any responsibility when they have an accident.

Three years ago I got hit when I was stopped at a red light.   I got whiplash.  And as it turned out the woman gave me bogus insurance information at the scene and my insurance company never was able to track her down.  The police didn't intervene. So there again I paid a deductable to have my car fixed and then went through a number of months of physio and treatment for chronic headaches. 

So I have a question.  What the hell happened to taking responsibility for our own mistakes?  And how do we get irresponsible drivers off the road?

I do know that it was good that I wasn't in my car when it got hit this time.  I'm fine.  No harm to me or anybody else which is something to be grateful for.

But somehow I still feel really ticked about the responsibility piece.   

Aww, Tiger Lily - that really sucks. How can someone hit a vehicle, look right at you and drive away? Wow. Yes, I know it happens - but I can feel disgusted all the same. Sorry that you had that experience today. Gentle thoughts coming your way.

Hey thanks for understanding Myst.

The upsetting part for me is that if he'd stopped and provided his information (and it was clearly not my fault) I wouldn't have to pay out any money.  Because he took off I have to pay a $400 deductable for my repairs.  Such a waste of money.  If a tree falls on my car I understand the deductable.  When someone is irresponsible and costs me that amount of money it's a different story.

Anyways, much calmer here now.  Never could stay mad for long!

There are a lot of cowards in this world.

 It's too bad that there isn't a fund created by charging the hit and run drivers they do catch to pay for innocent people's deductibles.  If you made me queen of the world that's what I would do! (Along with similar funds for other crimes).

TigerLily - that sucks! I am glad that nobody was hurt, but I wish that driver would have done the right thing and given you his information.

I am constantly amazed by the bad driving I see when I am on the streets. At work I occasionally drive a 15 passenger van, and you wouldn't believe how often people, in vehicles half my size, try to cut me off - or worse. The one that made me laugh the most was when I saw an average sized car cut off one of our double-decker public transit buses! The bus had to be at least 6-7 times the size of the car.

I agree Sterton.

And Chemgal I hereby crown you Queen of the World!!  I think you will do a lot of good in many different ways  

TL

That's crazy!!  Small isn't always mighty lol. 

TL, that's so upsetting.

I've got some idea how you felt - a guy ran a red light, hit my car and kept on driving.

Like you, I didn't get his registration number -so had to pay  the initial $300.

Supermarket car-parks are another problem. I try and park on the end of a lane -so that the driver next to me doesn't hit my car with his/her door.

Sadly, it happens all the time in Oz. Individual responsibility seems to have been replaced with "what can I get away with".

The best time to have some lessons in empathy IMO is when you're a child. It used to be "normal" for adults to either nurse a child on their lap, or get them to stand up for an adult on public transport.

(I remember my Nana sayings things like, "they've been working hard all day" etc)

Looking back, it was a kind of training in empathy and respect - rather than who sat where.

Getting back to individual responsibility and cars - what both shocks and saddens me is the number of "hit and run" accidents when people are either seriously injured or killed.

At a stretch I can perhaps understand someone driving off in shock - but these incidents are often not ever reported - even after police appeals.

Oz is a secular society - as such - a lot of kids don't have any religious instruction at home or school.

But, due to urging by schoolteachers, our Education Department here in New South Wales has introduced an ethics class.

Let's hope this helps in some way.

Hi Tigerlily;

I am sorry that happened to you.  Happened to me last year.  Thankfully, though the child I was babysitting knew the driver.  Had I not seen it she would have drove off.  I was running down the street with my cell phone dialing 911 and hollering at her.  She did not stop.  So her insurance had to pay.  But she had every intention of not paying and she drove off and left me running after her.  Because I was able to identify her she had to pay.  Some people are so irresponsible.

Tiger Lily,

man oh man, for a thought grenade or a blamethrower :3  My mom and I used to have fun when we were driving together by inventing new 'weapons' on her dashboard to get rid of dangerous drivers.  "This one deserves a DISINTEGREINTEGRATE-DISSEMINATE RAY!!!"

It's so frustrating.  I mean, there the both of you were:  conscious, powerful, amazing beings with a practically limitless future and the ability to decide, mindfully, how the both of you want to experience life...and what did they decide to do?  What a sad waste and being so cruel and cowardly to you.  I am sorry it happened.

Thank you InannaWhimsey for my morning smile.

There may be few who remember the great public advertisement warning about driving too close to snowplows.  It was a cartoon, the snowplow innocently driving down the road, its blue light flashing on top.  A car approaches too fast, too close, and the blue light rises up and a little face appears aiming a machine gun.

I loved that and covet a car top machine gun to this day....

LB

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road. 

     Anonymous Driver

Ina - my first laugh of the day!!!  You and your mom - shooting imaginary rays out the windshiield and the 'bad guys'.   When my kids were little, during long trips in the summer holidays, they entertained themselves (with my help) inventing games.  Every once in awhile we would see an empty school bus rolling down the highway - maybe being moved to another school, or taken for maintenance, or whatever they are on the road for in summer.   My kids would shoot the tires out, or otherwise disable it.  If we passed a schoolyard full of parked buses they would lob granades.  Once when they shot down a bus, Mr. Seeler told them:  "Hey, that bus was full of kids."   Little Seelergirl (about 8 years old) pips us:  "we were just putting them out of their misery."

Seriously, it is upsetting to be hit by a hit-and-run.  Just after I got my first new (to me) car, I came out of a church meeting where I had parked on the street.  There was a note on my windshield - "Sorry, I hit your car.  Please call . . ."  And sure enough - when I checked the front door was dented.  I called - it was a teenager, just got his license a few days before, driving his mom's car.  I was to take it to whatever body shop I choose and they would pick up the bill.   It was really reaffirming - not just the money, but the renewal of faith in the goodness of people, including teenagers who often get a bum rap.

It doesn't always happen that way.  I am not suspicious by nature.  It never occured to me that, when I was rear-ended last year, someone would give me a fake name and/or phone number, and registration.  I just handed her a piece of paper to write it down, while I gave her mine (her much bigger vehicle wasn't damaged).   I never was able to trace her, she never contacted me, and I ended up responsible for repairs.  I wasn't hurt but I've avoided that intersection ever since.

When an acquaintance hit my car in the church parking lot since then, I got her registration and insurance papers from her and copied down her information while she copied down mine.  And I already knew her name and where to find her.  Both she and her husband, and their insurance company, were pleasant to deal with.

Sorry for this circumstance, Tiger Lily.

There are a lot of cars on the roads these days - and some of them have inconsiderate drivers at the wheel.  There are some people whose aim in life is to get away with whatever they can and as much as they can.  If a person purposefully drives away from an accident without taking responsibility they do so in hopes of not getting caught and therefore not having to take responsibility for the damage they have done and not having to pay for it.  This type of behaviour could have been taught to them in the home with parents having the same thought process or could just be the way this person developed their thought process over the years.  Someday a light may come on and then they will have to deal with their inner battle for all the times they have cheated someone in the past.

As others have mentioned I always try and park in parking lots where there aren't a lot of vehicles around even if it means having to walk a much greater distance.

I'm very sorry this happened to you Tiger Lily...what a frustrating day.

Good question, where has responsibility gone?  It is shocking to read or hear in the news that hit and run drivers abandon the scene, not even stopping to see if they can help the victim.

You have a pretty positive attitude in dealing with this...I would be furious.  I am glad you weren't hurt.

 Thanks for your vote TL!

Thanks everybody for your kind and supportive replies. 

And I agree that it was simply a case of "what can I get away with?".  The driver did not want to pay or wasn't insured or whatever (who knows) and didn't want to get caught.  He looked right at me when he drove by and it would be obvious that I walk with a cane - so no chance that I'd be chasing after him for a license plate number.

And Seeler you're sure right about the information.  I would never let someone write down their own information again (speaking of the accident 3 years ago).  I'd ask to see their license and insurance etc. and write the info down myself.  And I'm thinking that I might even pin them to the ground and sit on them while I got that info out of their wallet!!

And I LOVE the idea of having an imaginary secret weapon in my car to get rid of the bad drivers.   So neat that you played that game with your mom Inanna and thank you for making me smile.  I have a feeling that imagining my secret weapon will make me feel better when I drive.  Perhaps I'll shoot out imaginary neon coloured paintballs to make it easier to catch the drivers later on.  Although the D-D Ray sounds awfully good.

Today I went in the morning and did the police report where the woman who took the info informed me that she would have been able to get the license number and also said that I could have pretended to take a cell phone photo etc. so the driver would stop.  She was not a police officer.

I bit my tongue.  Amazingly I'm not super-human.  I can't run after cars (there's some sort of unwritten rule about that when you walk with a cane).  And I did not have time to get out my cell phone (let alone come up with the bright idea of taking a fake photo).  I was walking up to my car feeling startled and confused and quite honestly thinking that the other driver was going to stop.

Anyways it's done.  I also got an estimate of the damage done at a body shop today. So now I just wait until my claim goes through and then take the car back to get it fixed.  There was more damage than I realized.  I'm glad that it can be fixed.

Tiger Lily - there is an unwritten rule that it is always more than you expected.  

TigerLily,

Sorry to hear about your car and sorry to hear of your experience with the driver of the other car.

It feels good to call him a jerk and I know I would chose lots of more colourful words.

One day, I was waiting in the car in a busy parking lot (we only have one) when I  heard the familiar nails on chalkboard sound of a car being swiped. My eyes went to the sound and a woman in a truck was pulling out and her truck bumper ran down the side of the car next to her. She was obviously not stopping. I got out of my car. She was continuing to pull out. I started waving my arms.  She stopped. I yelled something at her about hit and run. The blank look caught me just as she signed that she was deaf. She had not heard the sound and in her big truck had not felt it at all.

Sadly, not all folks who drive away are not louts or mean nasty people. Some are driving with no insurance because they have no money for insurance. They keep getting kids to school and to work hoping that they get the money saved before they get pulled over and since "crunch" has never happened they hope it stays that way

I would like to say that if I had no money and no insurance I would still stop.Yet,  I also know that I am human and emotions like fear and panic can overwhelm our better selves.

I only hope that this person feels bad. If not, then he is a &%$#@&

Wow, TL - just what you needed -- the person taking your report telling you that she would have 'done better' - she would have done this and that. How helpful. What a confidence booster for you. What considerate, thoughtful comments. What a good understanding of what it would be like to be confused and shocked in such a situation. Sheesh.

SG - you made me smile - "and I would choose lots of more colourful words".

Ya I was highly annoyed that I did all the work tracking the hit and run driver down and the cops did not even charge her with a hit and run.   That'll teach her.