Of course it is!  How else do you meet someone new that you don't have a degree of a connection with?

I've done that on many an occasion.

This question came up after Seelerman's club Christmas party. I don't know many of the people. It's a men only club - by custom. I've met a few of the men when Seelerman hosts their meeting at our place, or when they set up a display at the mall.

The women are only invited to the Christmas dinner. I've met very few, so generally while Seelerman mills around talking I stand at his elbow or eventually go set down at one of the tables. This year it was a table for six. So I expected Seelerman to join me, and maybe Jack and Jill (I know her slightly - she attends a UCC across the river.)

Before the others came over, however, a tall, middle-aged man whom I couldn't remember meeting before sat down on the other side of the table. I smiled at him. He made a little smile. We sat. People still milled around. Seelerman is across the room. We sit. I'm wondering what to say or do. Presumably he is part of the club. Is he with somebody? I smile. We sit.

So I reach my hand across the table "Hello. I'm Seeler. Seelerman's wife."

He shakes my hand. "I'm Randy."

"Chilly night."

"Yeh."

Silence.

Seelerman, Jack and Jill arrive at the table just as the announcment is made to help ourselves to the buffet.

Jack says, "I see you've met Randy. He came along with us."

"We introduced ourselves."

The next day, Seelerman brings up the incident. "What were you thinking? Introducing yourself to Randy like that?"

"What? Why?" I know it's not that Seelerman is jealous. I just don't understand.

"We were sitting there at the same table. Nobody was around to introduce us, so I took the initiative."

"Well, you shouldn't have. It's up to the man to introduce himself first."

"Well, pardon me! I thought he seemed shy and self-consious." (Partly through the evening I'dd realized that Randy is a bit challanged.)

So, just to know - who speaks first?  who does introductions?   As visiting pulpit supply I am often called to churches where I don't know the congregation - my name is on a Presbytery list.  I'm used to walking up to the first person who looks my way, extending my hand, and saying,  "Goodmorning, I'm Seeler.  I will be your minister for the day.  I was told to ask for Jim Brown."  

Why should it matter who makes the introduction? The notion that the man should introduce himself first seems quite old-fashioned and I find it to be quite sexist.

ditto. Tell SeelerMan, he  should have an open club in this day and age. Women like trains too and then anyone could introduce anyone.

Seelerman is being ridiculous in my opinion.  How does he even know you introduced yourself first if he was across the room?  Did someone else make a big deal out of it?  I've never even heard that men should start the introductions.

When one person knows two people who don't know each other, then I may wait a tiny bit longer before introducing myself.  It's polite for them to introduce people to each other.  There has been times where I've forgotten someone's name though, and I will tell warn chemguy ahead of time so that he introduces himself and I can catch their name again :)

LOL I think he was jealous!

You were fine-not only did you politely introduce yourself-you also stated you were married!

Tell seeler to get over it or suggest everyone wears name tags next time!

My hubby is very good at asking "have you met my wife" if we at functions of his if he is by my side. If not then I just introduce myself.

I talk to anyone and everyone without an introduction. On buses, planes, airports, meetings.

Increasing your communication makes life interesting.

There's nothing better than having an intimate conversation with a stranger. To walk away and think "I'm so glad I met that person - what serendipity to connect like that!".

It's anecdote time.....

Seeler, remember when I said goodbye to you and Mr. Seeler after we dined in Halifax?

Because I liked you, as well as a hug you got a kiss.

I move towards Mr. Seeler, who is beginning to panic.

"Er, you can hug me, but no kiss", he says.

(For the record, my brother's the same - if I'm lucky I get the side of his face - more often than not just thin air).

But, to answer your question, life's too short to wait for introductions.......

I remember Pilgram.

Reading this thread over, I realize that I might have seemed hard on Seelerman.  He is very self-conscious in social situations himself (more so than I am). 

He also is quite sensitive to others.  Knowing Randy's limitations, he may have felt that I put Randy in an awkward position. 

Randy does cleaning at the mall where they sometimes set up a display.  He got to know Jack.  So Jack includes him in club events.  So I imagine Randy coming along to the dinner with Jack and Jill.  People are milling around talking.  Perhaps momentarily he got separated from people he knew.  He doesn't know where he will be sitting.  He asks Jack, who notices me at a table and points it out.  "Over there in the corner."  So Randy comes over.  There's a strange woman (me), so he sits as far away as possible at a six person round table.  Then I introduce myself and try to engage him in conversation.  Oh dear. 

So Seelerman realizes this and feels I'm at fault.  Actually he probably shouldn't have left me alone at the table, or come over as soon as he saw Randy sit down. 

I'm glad that there are no rules about who should speak first.  I think it probably be whoever decides to break the silence. 

seeler,don't let seelerman read this thread, he will be devastated about us talking about him - men are like that, I think.

He never comes on the Cafe.  I tell him about some themes andd discussions.  This one I will keep to myself. 

Sounds a bit like a comedy of errors to me.  Seelerman wasn't being considerate when he left you alone rather than including you with his group or introducing you to someone who might enjoy meeting you. 

You didn't realise for a while that the guy at your table was suffering from some sort of handicap.  I think under the circumstances it was great to introduce yourself. 

It also sounds  like Seelerman was feeling a bit socially insecure himself at the time.  Maybe you and he could have a non judgemental chat sometime about how 'accepted manners' have changed since your childhoods - and what things you each think are better or worse nowadays.

Oh goodness ... we do get bent out of shape about the most mundane things sometimes, don't we humans?    In my world, there's no rule about who speaks first.   But I suppose in days gone by, it was 'speak when spoken to' as a rule for women, and old habits may perhaps die hard.  

Isn't it nice to be able to ask such questions here rather than be left just wondering if your own opinion is way out in left field?  I do like that aspect of this wonderful place.

True enough.......

I guess we're all just different.

(I've worked out a compromise with my brother - I attempt a kiss on greeting, but when it's time for goodbye I just say, "see ya".).

It seems to be working......

Hi seeler,

Depends on the context.

As an introvert if it is public transportation I'm not likely looking for someone to talk to.  I'll read a book or nap.  Apart from a "hello" I'm not likely to offer much conversation.

At a wedding reception sitting with a bunch of strangers I'll probably grab the bull by the horns and introduce myself and whomever I am with.  I am not going to claim the role of host for the table so when newcomers arrive I will introduce myself but I am not introducing the whole table.

In a doctor's or dentist's office unless the magazines are horribly old and I have memorized every bit of print in them I will keep to myself. 

There may have been etiquette for introductions ages ago.  I expect the current etiquette for social gatherings is extroverts get to initiate introductions before introverts have to.

Grace and peace to you.

John

Introvert, extrovert. My kids say"Mom, you talk to everybody" I have been known to say in the mall. "Love the way you are wearing your hair. It really suits you." The woman walks away a little taller with a smile on her face. My kids say"Who was that/"

"Never seen her before."

I guess that's where PP and I are alike.

LOL chansen - said no doubt with your own tongue planted firmly in your cheek!

 Ha ha - thank you for my first laugh of the morning.......

(To misquote that well-known Aussie icon, Kylie Minogue,  "you should be so lucky". )

Birds of a feather flock.............to the roofer.

I suppose in that case proper etiquette would be for the person with the better breath to do the introduction.

I have never heard that the man should speak first in that kind of situation - but perhaps I live in a different world.   seeler, personally I think it was very kind and appropriate for you to introduce yourself.

chansen -- thanks for the laugh! That was definitely a laugh out loud moment.