Well in my times of trouble, worries, or wounds to bind . . . I go to my hubby, my bestie, and my God . . . usually in a variety of different orders, depending on the situation.

My partner is very supportive, encouraging and wise . . . and while his counsel is not always what I need, if I can't take all of it, I can usually take some of it for help in any given situation.

My bestie is also these things, and adds to counsel a female approach to things.  She knows me very well and is therefore able to have a special kind of discernment in my life.

And my God . . . well, past experience in my life shows me that God is always there . . . and God is faithful . . . in helping me . . . maybe not in the exact way I would prefer the help - but always there.  Sometimes I am so wrapped up in my troubles. worries, and wounds I stew for a bit on my own.  Despite my action of doing so . . . God already knows . . . God is already there.  I like it that I can yell at God, be angry with God (although not because I see God as responsible for these things), I can cry and weep and wail, and I don't feel judged or criticized.  I find a deeper strength when I intentionally and consciously include God in all areas of my life.

It depends.  Chemguy is usually at the top of the list.  Sometimes my mom dad or sister.  Friends usually aren't at the top of the list, but if they are the ones there when something is bothering me I will talk to them.

It wasn't too long ago just covering what I had been up to physically with a RMT brought up something that I guess had been bothering me a little subconsciously and she became a therapist for 2 minutes before the massage :)

My RMT has been wonderful, chemgal . . . she has been very helpful to me these last 6 months.  I think she is always my therapist .

Glad yours was able to help a bit.

My sis is always there . . . I go to her lots too.

My spouse and god seem pretty good at anticipating and intervening to  neutralise the threats and upsets that come lumbering my way. The few that get through the wire are, therefore, seldom panic-inducing and usually readily fixable.

For many years it was my husband. He was a rarity amongst Aussie males - he was comfortable discussing feelings and emotions.

Also my best friend -whom I've known since we were seventeen. We had this wonderful unspoken agreement that we could, over the years, discuss problems with each other that we had with our respective spouses. It was a given that we would keep these confidences to ourselves - and that we both knew we loved our spouses and were just letting off steam......

When John died it soon became apparent that I needed to widen my circle of close friends. Fortunately, I've been able to do this - and there are about half a dozen friends that I can confidently approach when something is troubling me. Incidently, since staying with LBmuskoka shortly after her partner died - and holidaying with her in Newfoundland - I now include her in those I can confide in.

Because this widening of my close friendships is a relatively "new" thing - I've examined it and found some interesting similarities in my new found friends.

They are all strong, capable independant women - who also happen to be what I term life's nurturers.

I, on the other hand, seem to have a perpetual need for nurturing and encouragement.

(Deep inside I'm still that little girl who ran home from school on her first day. Mum was mystified -because I had younger siblings and played well with other kids. "But I wanted you to stay with me,too, Mum.")

Fortunately for me I've discovered that these strong nurturers love the company of someone who can make them laugh and share thoughts and ideas with. And, although I'm not much in the way of practical help, I can offer warmth and emotional support when it's required......

Your threats and upsets "lumber" . . . mine seem to storm in with feet stomping and raging LOL!

Sounds like your spouse and god are good for you :).

Even though I have walked with others who have been widowed I have never experienced it myself . . . and I don't fully fathom how it must be to lose one's spouse. 

For many who have been blessed with partnerhood I think it is one's partner that most usually go to for help, a sounding board, comfort, and encouragement.  And it must be so difficult when that is ripped from your life.

I am glad that friends help to fill some of this role in your life.

I think you must be a wonderful encourager, supporter, friend, confidant, and hand-holding sitter to many .

I wake up feeling like that every day. I think of the two people who I have issues to sort out with, but can't. It's painful not being able to talk to them. So I turn to my email, and my Mom, and the girls at work. I am very wounded but work hard at not appearing defeated or needy. I still have moments, hours... of joy, strength and empowerment. I work at making those grow.

I used to turn to my husband for many things, but now have none. I gradually could turn to him for less and less, til I was all alone in my head and heart and it was deperate. Then him being gone was a relief. Now I am learning how to cope with solitude all around me and no one to say good morning to, day after day. No one to give my love to.

A sad and difficult time in your life, Elanorgold.  I'm glad you have friends (email and wondercafe :), and your mom, and the girls at work - someone to talk to.  Caring thoughts are with you.

God.