Not whether to *facepalm* or ROTFL.

Mendalla

 chansen, stop being so sassy, sarcastic and ironic! I'm starting to think you're gay!

Actually, the commentary included in discussing some of the above characteristics is priceless. Here's just a selection:

- When you’re out in public, does he spend too much time looking at other men? Is he fond of winking at people? Does he get visibly upset when someone does not return a compliment about his physical appearance?

- Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and they smell. Homosexuals often abhor this sort of thing and will also be incredibly particular about the cleanliness of the home. Does your mantweeze his eyebrows, trim his pubic hairs or use face moisturizers? Is he picky about brand name shampoos? Does he spend more time getting ready for a night out than you do?

- If your husband owns skinny jeansand looks at his buttocks in the mirror or if he wears an inordinate number of small-sized t-shirts, it is probably worthwhile to pay more attention to his private activities.

- If he selects films because of specific male actors, this is an obvious sign that he is suffering from a crisis of ego and desire.

- Is there ever really a good excuse for a husband to visit Thailand or San Francisco without his wife?

- Someone who makes an extra effort to surround themselves with younger men should raise concerns in any community. If this is the case with your husband, ask yourself if he prefers their company to that of women. Do they touch each other or embrace in long hugs? Do they exchange expensive, personal gifts like scarves or cologne?

-  Gossip websites,Glee and The Golden Girls are three well-documented icons of the gay movement that genuine heterosexual men avoid.

- Does he go shirtless in the back yard or at picnics when other men are around? Does he wear a speedo at the beach? Does it seem like he’s purposely standing right in the middle of a crowd to show off his chest and arm muscles, peppering people with questions about how strong he looks? 

Ummmmm....you all know it's satire....right?

I would have thought that all the gay ads would have at least bought somebody a clue.

Here is a link to their "news desk". It is all real you know..........BAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

http://christwire.org/category/newsdesk/

You don't have to. Somebody else already did.

If you'd had sex before marriage, you wouldn't have to worry about your husband turning out to be gay, now would you?

Not necessarily. Maybe he really needs a beard for some reason.

Of course it is, cf, but it's damn funny!

Yeah, but you have to read for a while.  You have to look for clues, because it doesn't scream satire.  Many Christian groups are just this crazy.

 It is cleverly done, that's for sure. However, when the first gay ad appeared, I kinda figured it was satire. Pastor Deacon Fred would proud.

Reminds me of the equally ridiculous, but all too serious, "How to tell if your child is Wiccan" article of a few years back.

It is hard to read sarcasm on line so not sure what you mean by this.  I know of three married men, with kids, who ultimately divorced because they were living a lie and were gay.  We even had a poster here, can't remember his name.

I knew a United Church minister who was married (wonderful lady), they had their first child during his studies, ultimately had a second child and one bright day decided he was gay.  Divorced his wife, of course, (such an act of Christian charity) and still stayed in the ministry.  Oh, yes, I respect that.  The time to decide is BEFORE you say 'I Do', not after.

joejack - my understanding is that it is not so much deciding as realizing.  Some people may realize from the beginning, from early childhood they know absolutely that they are homosexual or hetrosexual.  Others may only come to realize it when they enter puberty, or later.  Yes, some may marry and have children before they come to the full realization that they are gay.  And then they, and their spouse, have to make a decision.  Do they continue with the marriage, even though it seems like living a lie, or do they disolve the marriage so that each can be free to seek other partners, or do they decide on a compromise (like living in the same household as roommates and raising the children).   It would be a very difficult decision to make.

In the meantime, I'll keep my eyes open to see if my husband of almost fifty years shows any tendency towards being gay.  Come to think about it - everyone in his model train club is male.  Women are only invited to attend their summer barbeque and their Christmas party.  Whenever he hosts the monthly meeting at our place the men disappear downstairs to the view his set-up.  Maybe I just presumed that they were talking about trains, or planning their next display at the fair this fall.  Who knows what happens before I take the dessert down?

1) Secretive late night use of cellphones and computers

Yes

2) Looks at other men in a flirtatious way

Yes

3) Feigning attention in church and prayer groups

Umm...N/A

4) Overly fastidious about his appearance and the home

Overly?...naaah....0.0

5) Gym membership but no interest in sports

No

6) Clothes that are too tight and too “trendy”

Hmm, trendy maybe, tight not so much

7) Strange sexual demands

Hahahahah...ha...err...

8) More interested in the men than the women in pornographic films

Only if it was Adrien Brody

9) Travels frequently to big cities or Asia

Well I travel to Edmonton as often as possible... (asia wtf?)

10) Too many friendly young male friends
 

OMG watch out for the friendly friends!

11) Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends

Sometimes

12) Love of pop culture

Love of Lady GaGa

13) Extroverted about his bare chest in public

No

14) Sudden heavy drinking

LOL it's Ramadan so you could say so

15) Ladies, have you dated men in the past who turned out to be gay?

N/A

Hmm, I guess i'm more than 50% gay!

As-salaamu alaikum, Ramadan Mubarak

-Omni

The only one I meet is 12 (pop culture) and only to a point at that and yet one of my best friends in college said I was the "gayest straight guy" she had ever met. The only thing I can think of is that I'm very feminist and very supportive of gay rights.

 My husband is fastidious about his appearance.  Sometimes showers twice a day. And chooses his personal care products based on smell.  don't bother choosing them for him anymore. SO that is about it.  I think I am probably safe.

 PS I count my blessings that I don't have a smelly dirty husband. He always smells civilized. 

BTW I love the Old Spice Guy. (The man your man could smell like.)

The difference in divorcing your wife to be with a man is different then divorcing her to be with another woman ...... how exactly?? Would it have been any different if he had run off with the head of the Ladies Aide?

You're right about one thing though - "The time to decide" whether you want to be with a person for the rest of your life, regardless of gender, is before you say 'I do'

That's not gay. That's just bad taste in music.

Really I feel that those are probably pretty good warning signs. Not that all gay husbands would participate in those things, not that every gay husband would participate in those things, but things I believe a good wife should be aware of. Some of them might also be signs of adultery going on.

Once again, the line between Jae and satire is almost invisible.

I feel for him as much as I do for his wife.  Imagine feeling so ashamed of yourself that you'd go to such lengths to try to squash something so fundamental to who you are.  Imagine the years of torture he endured, trying to be straight...trying to fit what he thought he was supposed to be.  THEN, on top of all of that, when he finally comes to the point where he realizes that he just can't do it, other people look at him as the villain.  He's just as much a victim here as she is...a victim of a world in which gay is considered evil, wrong or just plain gross.  If he had been raised to love himself exactly as he is, I really doubt it ever would have occurred to him to play straight.

 Hmmm... if I were to have a husband, I hope that he would be gay.

Love and hugs (and Christ's peace, of course) - r

My husband is not gay, although he has been known to listen to Ke$ha and Katy Perry on occation.

Witch

having sex before marrriage is no guarentee of anything, of course.  Most bi's are in the closet and the gltbq whatever club has only recently really allowed for bi's to announce their belief in a continuum over the genetic theory.

 I don't find this as funny as many as I have friends who are deffinitely confused for life after having their husband come out of the  closet and announcing it to them, last. 

Again, that's just bad taste in music.

How cool, those are among my favorites as well. Of course I often listen to them with my 10 year old daughter who also loves Ke$ha and Katy Perry (and Lady Gaga, and Nickelback, and my awesome 80's), so what does that say.

Taste in bad music continues to spread like a disease.

That says that there's hope for you yet.

Jae, I listen to every genre, so you don't know the first thing about my taste in music :P

As-salaamu alaikum, Ramadan Mubarak

-Omni

You stated yourself that you have a love of Lady Gaga. So I do indeed know the first thing about your taste in music.

Jae, is there any subjective topic on which you are not prepared to be incredibly judgmental?

Well, if even a few of these 'signs' were even remotely indicative, all my 'purportedly straight', happily hetero-ly married friends, and the parents to many of my children's friends, including my own dear hub....are Actually Gay.

I'm relieved to know.  Now I too can express my gayness with travel, friends and a clean house.

Hey, you have your taste in music, Omni has his (), I have mine. Welcome to planet Earth.

---

So Jae, you have your taste in music, others have a different taste.  Great!   I like country.  You are the one who referred to others' preferences as 'bad taste'.  Which is it?  Is everybody entitled to make their own choice, or do people who don't chose the same as you have 'bad taste'?

Oh you are earning your silver stars lately. Your leader must be most proud.

Of course everyone has their own taste in music, and of course they all think their taste in music is good taste. At the same time, everyone else has the free ability to disagree with them. I personally happen to believe that Gaga-appreciation shows a certain ignorance-degree.

Ignorance-degree?  This ccoming from someone who thinks homosexuality is wrong calling a pro-GLBT musician with a degree in classical piano from the juliard school of music is funny.

As-salaamu alaikum, Ramadan mubarak

-Omni

Hi Omni,

When it comes to the question of GLBT-acceptance, it should be noted that in your own choice of religion homosexuality is considered a sin. (source: http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/homosexuality.htm ) You really shouldn't try to pretend otherwise.

As for the "...musician with a degree in classical piano from the juliard school of music..." part of your post, I have no idea what you're talking about.

I think omni is talking about Lady Gaga. LG never went to Juliard (prestigious in it's own right), although she was accepted. Instead, she accepted an offer to the equally prestigious Tish School of the Arts. She dropped out in her second year though to focus on her music career. She has no degree in classical piano. She is however, from what I have seen to be a very talented piano player.

John Williams however IS a graduate of the Juliard School of Music.

Of course Islam has a number of backward beliefs, but Omni may choose not to adopt some of them.  Happily, that means he may have some spare backward beliefs that he can loan to you.

 What about ... 

16.  Develops a sudden interest in decorating

17.  Neither he nor any of his friend any longer dress like 15 year olds the way all the other men who went to school with him still do.

My kids love this music as well so I tend to hear a fair bit of it.  I will admit that some of the tunes are catchy with a good beat so I have downloaded a handful onto my ipod's playlist for when I go running.  Music with a steady beat is great to run with.  I actually now own  a Lady GaGa CD, primarily for my running music collection.  I also love running to P!NK, Black-Eyed Peas, K'Naan and other music that I would not normally gravitate to.  I also find that having an interest in at least some of my kids' music gives me conversational "in" with my teenage son.

I still love 80's stuff, classical, choral, folk and classic rock.  But some of the newer stuff isn't bad if you give it a chance.  I have found that K'Naan's music in particular has sparked some pretty great conversations with my teen about growing up poor and oppressed.

In an ideal world, I agree.  But we don't live in an ideal world.  We live in a world that often still tells many that homosexuality is a great sin and forces many to bury that part of themselves in a deep, dark place for a very long time and attempt to make life choices that allow them to remain part of the mainstream.  Coming out of the closet for many men is still a dangerous and difficult decision.

I know a few people who have lived this journey and I understand that it is profoundly difficult and painful for all.  Many of the men I know loved their wives dearly and cared for them immensely.  They just reached a point that denying who they were become unbearable and perhaps the least cruel thing for all was to be honest and create a space that allowed everyone to move forward in a constructive manner. Their courage in the face of great difficulty, pain and societal scorn must be admired.

Gay-Test.com - Take the Gay Test

RivermanJae wrote:

Gay-Test.com - Take the Gay Test

I got 26%. That's funny becasue I girl I knew in college said I was the "gayest straight guy" she ever met. That was ironic becasue I was really interested in her but she wasn't in me. She said I was "like a brother". This is cool but it really should be it's own thread.

 My result was 25%. (I'm straighter than jon!!!! At least by 1%!!!!!) What I really want to know is - what did Jae get?

45% Gay, 55% Baptist

I'm 56% gay. w00t

As-salaamu alaikum, Ramadan mubarak

-Omni

 I ranked at 46%.