In all fairness, my personal situation has no bearing on my activities in the Religion and Faith forum.  I still oppose faith, and I do so in part because I want my kids to grow up in a better world than I did.  What is happening in my life in no way should prevent someone from responding to me on matters unrelated to my Sick Kids thread.

Besides, I'm being lobbed softballs, here.  Knocking them out of the park is therapy for me.

you wrote:"

"Maybe I'm just too much of a grump today." "

maybe, i personally (besides today), im not on very much , i usially go on for a bit and thats it until the next day.

i wouldnt take peoples particiapation or rather, nonparticiption in a thread as a yard stick in which to measure compassion.

personally i barely have the tim eto read responses directed to me and responses in threads i make, thats not to say i dont pop into others.

some people may not see what you see in the recently active list.

as far as criticizm and all that, i dont think i need to convince anyone ive received my fair share, i too find this enviroment to be over critical in some ways.

later.

Chemgal, someone(I don't remember who} posted that for him WONDERCAFE was for discussion. They have real people to make friends and community with. Some of us feel differently so we are all over the board meeting and greeting and getting involved. We can't orchestrate what posters  will do.

Chasen, I agree that the topics are completely separate and one discussion shouldn't greatly change a different one.  It's just the lack of participation in other threads when people could use encouragement, prayers, etc. that I'm seeing.

I hope you don't mind me using the Sick Kids thread as an example!  It was just one of the more obvious and recent ones.

CH, I guess for me discussion includes more than one debate.  If I find myself discussion many things with a particular person, I usually am interested in finding out more about them.  It doesn't matter if we agree or disagree.  If someone isn't interested in having a long discussion about personal matters, I think a quick 'sorry you're going through a tough time' goes a long way.

I don't want the participation of Stephen in that thread.  I can't stop him, and ordinarily wouldn't try, but this is different, and I assume people can see why.  I'm not yet convinced that Stephen isn't just a troll, and that's one place that shouldn't be trolled.

He has made me so mad on the Agape Thread that I have emailed him to delete his comments and have asked AAron to look into it. What an ass.

Chasen, that's completely fair.

I am just feeling a little annoyed today (and usually just find it ironic) that many of those who are the first to loudly and proudly profess their faith any chance they get are the least likely to participate when there's a prayer request.

CH, sorry to hear about it.  I'm staying out of that one for now!

It's not a prayer request.  I don't care abour prayer.

Chasen, your thread wasn't.  Some are though.

Ah, okay.  Sorry.

I don't get involved in prayer request threads, for obvious reasons.

Chasen, maybe yours wasn't the best example, it was just the most obvious one to me right now.  I could get how someone who constantly displays their religion would have trouble coming up with something that felt right to say to an atheist going through a tough time.  When it's a direct prayer thread though, that reason is gone.

Hi Chansen,

Agreed. I am totally with you on this one.

chemgal,

so your personal likes and dislikes, how you define participation and the right level of encouragement, prayers, etc etc, you feel should be followed by one, some, most, everyone else here?

Are you really talking aboot other people or are you really talking aboot yourself here?

well, chanson, i gave you my condolences and thoughts from my heart. i  thikn you should focus on your child, i dont feel you have a need for me to repeat myself. really i cant think of anythign i have ever said to you that unables you to see past the garbage at wondercafe.

so you assume people can see why? why?

maybe dont understand, im the one who has been insulted, labelled , portrayed in so many way, banned , words put in mouth., look at all the terrible things said to me, im made out to be a troll, this and tha, i cant even keep track anymore.

i challenge any of you to show me where i have labelled anyone and used insulting names labels and portrayed people as to be like satan and told people they are condeming and this and that. and stood by and continued in such ways.

what did i do?, didnt show people the ';respect' they thought they had coming? i quoted scripture and repeated  myself in my threads.? so what?

you guys make me feel like you want to did a hole and bury me. (almost, maybe if it was a couple hundred years ago anyway)

i really dont know whats going on with the mentality here.

it does reminfd me of a pack of dogs that get caught up in the group frenzy.

like seriously, chilll out.

splash soem cold waters in your faces or something.

think of it from my pov and how you guys must look to me, i know im not a troll and i know im truly a Christian , its you guys who seem to not know , meanwhile you consider the teachings and such im exploring in, and the things i talk about, and the things i ask of,  , you see 'trolls' do that? i dont think so............

how do you end up talking about me....

wow,.

is it some sort of allieviaton for people to turn on someone and have a kicking dog?

did any of you consider that i have feelings?

or am i portrayed as the crusty conservative with a stone cold heart?

do you guys think i have grey hair?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

lack of compassion for others? .... hmm, interesting, lets consider our compassion for others now.,.

chemgal, you guys portray some ion such ways, man, what a things to say, some people dont like getting involved in prayer groups.

so what? they are labelled as " first to loudly and proudly profess their faith any chance they get are the least likely to participate when there's a prayer request."

how do you know they havent prayed privatley?

people say a lot do things, on such as this, i felt i should speak up, your talking about others faith and prayers in relation to that faith, ease up...whoa.

then what, tommoroow you will talk to someone else about 'judging' when you are speaking in a conclusive way about somethig you cannot know. i recommend expressing yourself in a questoin format consider wording such as 'maybe' ,'it seems', and although you expressed you are feeling annoyed already , in relation to others faith and in regards to the prayer issue, express how that makes you feel. i would recommend avoinding making concluisions of others in regards to things that you cant possibly  know of.

many people consider their prayers private.

I'm just responding to the topic here.  I haven't read any of the intermediate posts.  

If I pop open a thread and see that it is a topic started by StephenBooth or MCJae or whatever he's calling himself these days I just skip on to the next one.  I mean how many ways do you want to read someone saying the same thing?  

Frankly there doesn't seem to be a lot of room left on this site anymore ... Half of the topics seem bogus.  Maybe that is the idea ... everybody gets tired of fundamentalist literalism and bullheadedness and Wondercafe shuts down.

qwerty,

batman & the joker seem to need each other

Sorry, I meant prayer request threads.

I don't see how a question format would help.

For the most part, I did use words such as 'seem'.

Stephen, Chasen doesn't seem to mind, but why do you keep calling him chason?  You appear to have an issue referring to certain posters by their chosen names.

Inanna, I just feel as though that people who regularly participate here should show some sympathy or empathy from time to time.  Especially when it's someone they regularly engage with who is reaching out.  Not as rules of WC, but just because they are a decent person.  Maybe that's too large of an assumption for some posters?

No, I'm not talking about myself here.  At times I wish I was better at coming up with the right thing to say; I tend to do better IRL, face to face.

IMO, some do show this publicly, some prefer private responses - just like in real life - that's my sense of things here.  Because you don't see public 'sympathy or empathy' does not necessarily mean it is absent as a characteristic, or that prayer is not occuring.  How people define expressions of 'sympathy or empathy' might also vary widely.   

Just my two cents worth.   Hope your 'grumpiness' is settling - although I didn't perceive any grumpiness myself!

Carolla, that's a good point.  I'm not privy (nor should I be) to all the PMs!

lol I was definately grumpy when I wrote this, glad that you didn't perceive it.  I think I typically would have written this with a more positive tone.

qwerty, just for the record Stephenboothoot and I are not one and the same person.

Rich blessings.

---

MC jae

That hasn't stopped you from trying to close the gap lately.

Hi chemgal,

In all fairness you are comparing apples to oranges.

For the most part threads in R&F are faith positions.  They may be championed by individuals and any challenge of those positions attacks the position more than the champion.  When the champion is attacked it is often through ad hominem.

Attacks on positions taken or beliefs held does not have to be an attack on persons.

This is pretty safe and easy territory to navigate.  Identify an idea and blast away.

Where threads get too close to the person I think it is actually something to be proud of that combatants tend to keep their distance.  It nothing else it actually shows good judgment and sensitivity are something most people can lay hold of even if it is not readily evidenced elsewhere.

One of the problems in popping into any thread about any person's grief is that just as in real life when we don't know what should be said yet we feel a burning desire to say something we tend to say something stupid, cruel or insensitive even when the desire to be stupid, cruel or insensitive is the furthest thing from our motivations to post and show that we are present.

Some people are here because they really enjoy discussing or debating theology past, present and future or other things about faith.  They aren't really here to build a community to which they will belong so much as they are interested in shaping a community of which they can approve.

Thoughtful criticism is welcome, thoughtless criticism not so much and habitual criticism whether thoughtful or thoughtless just gets tired.  Though obviously not to the one doing the criticism.

I reflect this above.  In "real" community where we do not have to annouce that we are present we are not forced to say anything and most of the time that is where pastoral gold stars are earned, in our silent presence.

Silent presence in virtual community looks like not posting at all.

And we leap to the conclusion that since somebody has not posted to thread X somebody is not interested in thread X which is an assumption made that might be completely without merit.

And to be honest, sometimes somebody posts something which comes across as stunningly thoughtless, insensitive and cruel and everyone wishes that they had never posted anything.

You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

If you want people to show up in virtual community they are going to have to post something and if they don't know what to say but they feel compelled to say something it is a safe bet that the thing they feel compelled to say will be something that could have safely been left unsaid.

That is an assumption.  They may have read the thread and simply not known what to say so they didn't post.  If that is the case we would never know how quickly they learned about Carter's illness or how it has impacted upon them.

If they don't have a mutually enjoyable relationship with the subject of a post their absence is probably welcome.

Well, I suppose that is a possibility.

Grace and peace to you.

John

Yes, I got that and cheers to you for saying so!  We all do it, virtually and in real life on occassion and it's nothing.  There are posters that come with that agenda...I'm lookin' at you mcJae, even though it's cloaked.

Chemgal decries the lack of compassion.  Compassion is an interesting and essential attribute of the spiritually enlightened.  The following little story will demonstrate what I mean:

Three men were walking through the desert. They were lost and about to die from thirst and hunger.

They come to a very high wall and the first one climbs up, shouts for joy and jumps over the wall never to return.

The next man climbs up the wall and he too, exclaims in ecstasy, jumps off the wall and never comes back.

Now the third man climbs up the wall. He gets to the top and sees a sort of Garden of Eden paradise. He smiles, turns, goes back down the wall, returning to the desert to help others find their way to this paradise. He chooses to go back into the desert of the world and help others find their way.

BODHISATTVA

you wrote:"

Stephen, Chasen doesn't seem to mind, but why do you keep calling him chason? You appear to have an issue referring to certain posters by their chosen names."

well, what do you think? do you think i make that typo much?

i do call him chanson.

you wrote:"

Stephen, Chasen doesn't seem to mind, but why do you keep calling him chason? You appear to have an issue referring to certain posters by their chosen names."

well, what do you think? do you think i make that typo much?

i do call him chanson.

i wrote:"
chansen wrote:

I don't want the participation of Stephen in that thread. I can't stop him, and ordinarily wouldn't try, but this is different, and I assume people can see why. I'm not yet convinced that Stephen isn't just a troll, and that's one place that shouldn't be trolled.

well, chanson, i gave you my condolences and thoughts from my heart.
"





i actually looked quickly and didnt see where i made the typo 'chason'






i guess you think i have a 'lack of compassion' or something , does it seem like im being made out to be much at this site?

later.






btw, when i mentioned some people consider prayer private, which may be so, i think that such may still pray openly or speak of what is in their prayer time to time, there is much to consider., my point is really, that posts (or absence of posts) within ceratin threads,and speaking of prayers , are not conclusive of ones compassion or necessarily reflective of their prayers in regard. mcuh to consider, just a ponder

later

chemgal .... Stephenbooth judges and chooses which names are worthy and holy enough to use...    Some of us just aren't holy enough.....

Regards

Rita

Hi Rita,

When you say "Some of us aren't holy enough...." you deny that portion of the divine which exists within you and is actually the real you.  That spark of spirit has all the attributes of the Father.  In that respect, we are ALL holy enough.

Ps 82:6 - You are Gods; you are all children of the Most High

I suppose you were just trying to make a point and don't really believe that some of us aren't holy enough.

Poguru,

I thought that Rita was talking about some of the judgements Boothoot tends to make.

Poguru and paradox3 ..... indeed you have understood the point I was trying to make.

Sometimes a bit of sarcasm seems to say it best.... unfortunately.....

Regards

Rita

I just wanted to point out that there hasn't been a lot of action in Chansen's Sick Kids thread lately. It seems to me that it is important to keep that thread going for now.

Hi somegalfromcan,

Important for whom?

Grace and peace to you.

John

Your G_d is laughing right now.  He and the new Green Lantern and Paralax are locked in a nice 3-way of Nomic

Stephen, I have seen you make the typo chason, more than I have seen you type his name correctly.  Rita's name is another example.  I've noticed others as well.

Poguru, thanks for sharing that story!

IRL, if I knew someone was facing a major issue and I never even said anything to acknowledge that but talked, debated, and criticised them over other things, it would be very rude, not considerate and lacking in compassion for them.

Online, things are a little diffirent, but it's not a complete 180.

Revjohn, you've made some excellent points :)

That's a fair question. I think it's an important way to remind Chansen that we are supporting him and his family during this difficult time. We may not be able to be there to help out physically - by the time a casserole made its' way from my house to his, it would be covered in several layers of fuzzy green and white stuff - but this is one way we can help emotionally.

doubt it..

show me.,

show me the last week, where i have used chansens name (all of them) and show me it being typoed 'chason' more than i wrote 'chansen'

i told you its a typo, you see that i spell his name 'chansen'

what do you want, whats with the nonsense, whats your point.

i just want to come to this site and share in the Gospels with my brothers and sisters.

soon i will be simply ignoring many posts taht seem more to do with critisicm and drama than the Gospels.

fill your boots now.l

later.

Here's an example:

http://www.wondercafe.ca/discussion/social/all-reasons-hate-stephen-4-ch...

Not just a post, but a title too!

thats a misspelling, i thought the issue was the typo of 'chasen', now you have aissue with another mistake i made?

good grief., dont you think there are many  better things to focus yoru energy on?

later.

(by the way, i said the last week, im sure you can dig away and find other typos, that does not mean they are not typos , so i make typos, so what.? people refer to me by variations of  my name and make typos.)

thanks but no thanks, this seems like a excersice in a waste of time.

spreading more slander and gossip.?

you know why i dont use yoru username, and john knows why i dont use 'rev', and [username:witch] knows why i wont refer to him as a 'witch' , ive told you plainly why imkj not comfortable in participating in what seems to be more than just a 'username' to you, , and it has nothign to do with what you just relayed.

please, can you stop yourself from gossiping about me and strivibng to be what appears to be to slander me? (may ei didnt use the word right, you knwo what i mean)

You asked, I showed.  I simply pointed out the two typos, both in the title and the post, as you asked me to.

i pointed out ' in the last week.', and now you have to count all my uses of his name and see if i typo it more than i spelt it corrcetlky, get back to me when your done wasting your time, please stop wasting mine.

i do think i flip flopped in in between 'chansen' and 'chanson' , which i felt was both correct, such is called a mistake, i never realized the difference until you point it out.

so what? i see many not using people exact username, so what? go bother them, or it just a avenue to criticize me and thats all its really about?

beat me? punch me? kick me?

------------------------------------

Haha, I've just realized I've also been missing an n most of the time.  Sorry, chansen.

Stephen, my point was that you don't put the effort into referring to people as they prefer to be called (within reason).  Yes, we make mistakes and typos, but in your case you've admitted that at times it is on purpose.  Calling revjohn, 'john' isn't the issue.  What's the problem with calling RitaTG 'Rita' (which I think she's just fine with) or Witch by his name?  Using Witch's name doesn't mean you are calling him a witch.

Stephen, this thread wasn't about you alone.  You've been replying though.

Have you seen prayer request threads, or threads where people have been reaching out that you did not respond to?  If so, why didn't you respond?

I have been puzzled by your posts and I'm not sure why....

Talking about anothers lack of compassion feels strange...to me

I think it's because I think compassion is a verb.

When talking compassion is that a relief valve for the guilt of not doing anything?

{This could be one of the many instances where I'm wrong --*Sigh*--)

I wouldn't get too hung up with imagining name mis-spellings are some kind of veiled insult. Especially since most people's handles are not simple names.
.
I know "chansen" stands for "c Hansen" (iPad autocorrect capitalized that "Hansen"), but "chansen" is not something you see everyday. Besides, it is often spelt "Hanson" to make matters more confusing.
.
Increasing numbers of us are using iPads with autocorrect which is a help but it tries to correct odd combos like "chansen".
.
Since switching to an iPad I keep messages short and try to fix bad autocorrects. But it is a useful feature so I don't want to turn it off.
.
Captchas are another problem, the iPad tries to fix them. I've stopped leaving comments anywhere that uses captchas.
.
You're welcome to call me EO, in fact, anything that is not an obvious insult.

But Stephen often will purposefully call people by alternate names - revjohn in particular, as Stephen apparently feels John does not deserve the title. It makes it difficult to tell which of the misspellings are personal attacks, and which are due to Stephen's incompetence.