LBmuskoka
Prayer Reflections
Posted on: 04/10/2009 14:39
I had an interesting conversation today with an older lady, a resident at the retirement home where I work. On my way to Good Friday service I stopped by to see how things were going since I had been away at a conference for two days.
This lady is also a member of my church and said that she found Good Friday service too emotional and wouldn't be attending – indeed she often found herself becoming weepy at services as if this was a bad thing. I told her I experience this when I sing some hymns but that I no longer view this as upsetting or embarrassing for it was those moments I actually felt in touch. This led to a discussion about prayer and we discovered that we both find prayer difficult and awkward, that each of us felt somehow inadequate in the practice. She said the only time she felt as if she was praying was when she sang and I agreed as well.
This conversation came on the heels of an experience I had faced yesterday, where I had a moment of what some may view as unorthodox prayer.
Yesterday my Grandmother had surgery. She is 93 years young but even so was given a 50/50 chance of survival.
I visited her the night before and despite her pain and medication, she was still sharp as a tack. We talked about the family, the conference I was attending and shared a number of laughs.
I wanted to be at the hospital yesterday but I had to attend the conference - coincidently not far from the hospital she was in – and as my grandmother would have been the first to tell me, I had an obligation to attend. My Grandmother was always a strong promoter of the act of living and never one to focus on dying.
I wanted to pray. I wanted to ask for help but I couldn’t. I’ve never been good at asking for such things, not from others and certainly not from God. For me, any prayer I would make would be selfish. It would be solely based on the fact I am not ready to live in a world without this woman
So instead, I stood on top of a hill, looking at the magnificent view of the Sound, big blue sky and deep blue water, and said to the wind “Grandma it’s too nice of a day”.
It may not be a traditional prayer but fortunately for me, one that was heard – either by my Grandmother or some equal force of Nature - for it was agreed it was too nice of a day and one that ended with laughter.
Comments
LBmuskoka
Posted on: 04/10/2009 14:41
Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!
Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.
In its brief course lie all the
Verities and Realities of your Existence.
The Bliss of Growth,
The Glory of Action,
The Splendor of Beauty;
For Yesterday is but a Dream,
And To-morrow is only a Vision;
But To-day well lived makes
Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,
And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.
Look well therefore to this Day!
Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!
Kalidasa
Another favourite prayer of mine....
SG
Posted on: 04/10/2009 14:52
Sounds like a traditional prayer to me... I guess it depends on your tradition...
From what you have said previous and in this post about your grandmother, it sounds like your traditions come handed down from someone who might have said, "It's too nice of a day".
Stevie G
LBmuskoka
Posted on: 04/10/2009 15:31
Amen to that Stevie and you are so right.
As some of you know, my Grandmother is one of the leading inspirations of my life. She taught me confidence – that no one is better than I, but, equally, I am no better than another. She is still a voracious reader with an inquiring mind who wants to be kept informed of what is new in the world. She believes strongly that family is the most important part of living – but every one who comes into her life is family and she fearlessly protects all.
Even after all these years she continues to surprise and inspire.
About a month ago, during another hospital stay, an old friend was brought into my Grandmother’s room. The woman was dying. Her extended family gathered round the bed. The woman’s only son, who had always been treated as an outcast by this extended group, spied my grandmother in the other bed and went to her. Grandma and his mother had been childhood friends. She had been as much a mother to him as his own when he was growing up.
As his mother lay dying, he and Grandma shared memories of his living mother; they talked about her youth, her joys, the good times and the bad. Grandma listened to him pour out his life, his fears and held his hand. She was with him when his mother, her friend, finally took that last breath.
The next day the doctor came in and told Grandma that the extended family had complained. They said that Gran should have told that man to leave and sit by the bed of his dying mother. My Grandmother looked the doctor in the eye and said “You were given hands to heal; I was given ears to listen. You do your job and I do mine”.
As I said above, a force of nature was listening to my pleas.
crazyheart
Posted on: 04/10/2009 16:29
amen Your grandmother is a prayer.
Pilgrims Progress
Posted on: 04/10/2009 19:40
LB,
I just love your stories - keep them coming.
When it comes to prayer, I don't believe in praying for outcomes. I don't believe in a God who intervenes. In situations like yours, pray that God will give you and your grandmother the strength and support to cope with what lies ahead. (From what you've told us, in both cases, I think He already has.)
I, also, feel awkward praying in the conventional manner. I look to Frederick Buechner's description of how to know when one is close to God. He states that whenever unbidden tears spring to one's eyes, that's a sure sign. (Feeling close to another's pain, seeing a beautiful sunset, listening to classical music - the list is endless!)
Grandmother's are great. My grandmother, in many ways, influenced me more than my parents. Her biggest lesson was about gratitude, a gift she passed on to me.
It's that same gratitude that helped me cope with my husband's death. I feel grateful that we shared so much happiness and love. His death can't detract from that.
boltupright
Posted on: 04/11/2009 10:13
That was beautiful! Thankyou for that, it touched my heart. Prayer in song, that is awesome!
Bolt
Arminius
Posted on: 04/11/2009 11:48
That was beautiful! Thankyou for that, it touched my heart. Prayer in song, that is awesome!
Bolt
Yes, Bolt, songs are the best prayers!
In song, I don't mind the traditionalist lyrics, because it is the spirit of the song that counts, and that spirit comes through, more so in song than in liturgy or verbal prayer. Although I no longer adhere to the Evangelical Lutheranism of my childhood and youth, I still love to sing the traditonal Lutheran hymns.
boltupright
Posted on: 04/11/2009 15:50
Yeah, there is something to the old traditions that warm the heart & bring good memories back eh?
Bolt