Aldo
Theological amusement....
Posted on: 02/01/2014 09:56
After considerable research, the age-old question has been answered: “How many
Christians does it take to change a light bulb?”:
Charismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterian: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptist: At least 15. One to change the bulb, and three committees to approve the change and
decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalian: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how
much better the old bulb was.
Methodist: Undetermined. Whether your light bulb is bright, dull, or completely burned out, you are
loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service planned for
Sunday.
Church of Christ: They do not use light bulbs because there is no evidence of their use in the New
Testament.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church guide on lighting
policy.
Amish: What’s a light bulb?
Lutheran: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.
Comments
Arminius
Posted on: 02/01/2014 10:23
Mystic: No lightbulbs necessary. The light of God is omnipresent and everpresent.
"And God said: 'Let there be light!', and there was light.
WaterBuoy
Posted on: 02/01/2014 10:45
You forgot the Hebrew, and these were numerous as out there in the san ... buried there it was dark and they connived of an uprising in the dark ... and there it was right in the penta Took ... there was obscured light in the inking thereof!
What came up they called Jack, or Jaqob if you wish a redaction ... this happens frequently when observing dip-thongs on the beach ... sort of a demi-word that can't be spoken in words devoid of sects and thsu they got it together. If you're a bit enlightened ... you can avoid the chaos of Jesus ... that underlying factor shuving up lights as reflected in Daisy and daffy'd isles ... isolated thinking patterns gone awry!
I do be leave this is all abstracted from what was dark and laid out previously in scrolls as extended imaginary illegal things ... like thoughts in church institutions where socially we're drifting towards turning the lights out on civilized behaviour ... and that without any humour ... seriously but few envision bad Nous Behr Eyres ... that could be a collective Irish Eire.
WaterBuoy
Posted on: 02/01/2014 11:11
Àmoös meant for what ... being that it is close to a Greek Muse ... is À-mos as somewhat without (a') thought as pure hilarity ... that one can experience in the impulse of a gross giggle.
Then is Amos a strange version of Micah (dark stone) as hardly sensible at all when they suggest god is justice, mercy and humble as a below the belt way of releiving angst and tens Zions ... and showing us about the lost tribes of angst in the ancient san ... leaving us with 11, or 2 as a complexity of emotional intelligence that are not recognized in a monolithic environment with blue stoneheads up as in Easter Island as OEsterous ... that were bridged in the English Midlands as repeated old Hebrew icon ... a Semite Scion as Stonehenge'd ... or otherwise attached to the mire, or Moor as the Celts would say by the dark force of grave-ID-ah boies?
And after that de mire is still a speck in the infinite surroundings that still draws light---Einstein by weight of relativity, or alchemii; if you wish!