You should not apologize unless you mean it.  Different circumstances require different types of apologies (public or private)

A forced apology is not an apology.  So while the person may cause you to think about what you said if you still do not feel you did anything wrong after you think about it again do not apologize.

Nobody has the right to make you apologize.

First of all, I would ask the person asking for the apology to be more specific.  Is the apology for them or for someone else?  And why would someone feel they have to intervene, if the "real" person isn't involved?

It is possible someone is yanking your chain, trying to get a reaction....trying to put you on the spot publicly.

If you decide an apology is in order, I would wondermail that person and sort it out in private.

I seem to recall a recent public apology thread on WonderCafe that created some problems.

Demanding an apology can be perceived as an act of bullying.  Let the person know you won't be coerced into apologizing and suggest they move on and get a life.  As one who used ot be in human service professions, some people thought you should be always apologizing  for one thing or another.  I usually told them that I would not apologize if I personally found no reason or compulsion to do so.  If they have a problem with that, let them know it's THEIR problem, not yours.  I know of a congregation who were always insisting their minister apologize even for his sermons.  He, of course, refused.  A problem individual  stopped coming to church, and others who were afraid to come before started coming to church.  If they say they're waiting for an apology, tell them to have a comfortable place to sit because they'll be waiting for a long time.  Give them a timetable for the apology, for example, when hell freezes over.

i think that asking for an apology is a good thing, really... letting someone know that they offended you is quite okay.  if someone says something that you find unacceptable or offensive, i think that you should go to them in private and tell them.  honestly, guys, i would rather have someone tell me when i have crossed the line to my face and give me the opportunity to either explain WHY i said what i did, or admit that what i said was wrong.  its how you grow and learn, isn't it?!?!?

HOWEVER, once you have confronted someone with it, it is THEIR CHOICE as to what to do with it.  if they choose NOT to apologize, then you have to deal with that... as has been pointed out, an apology that isn't sincere isn't really much of an apology. 

but there is a difference in telling someone they have hurt you, and demanding an apology.  There should be no need for a demand.

Either the person would respond to having hurt you by saying `I am sorry`, or they`ll say, `yep I did.` Both things are reasonable and important.  So a demand for apology is a moot point, rather silly.

"Demanding" an apology seems inappropriate to me. Discussing why a certain comment may or may not have caused offense seems fine. Frankly, if someone "demanded" an apology from me without any attempt on their part to explain why they felt an apology was called for, or to let me respond to why I felt the way I did, I'd say "stuff it."

When you honestly feel that perhaps in the heat of the moment you said something you shouldn't have and when you actually regret having said it.

See above.

Yes, they "can."

You can be ordered or instructed to apologize, but even then offering an apology is always a choice. Sometimes we offer insincere apologies just to end a particular exchange, even though we don't mean it.

Depends on the context. I think acts which have offended many people publicly shuld be public apologies - if you feel there's something to apologize for. I don't think we apologize just because we offend someone. I mean, people can take offense over virtually anything. To me, the issue is our motivation.

See above

I think an explanation of what the offensive behaviour was that's led to the call for an apology should be given to you. Otherwise the apology (if you feel you should apologize) is meaningless.

I agree with Southpaw...

Unless you deeply regret something you've said, in which case you will probably have already apologised, just reply: "Suck it up."

I'll answer this since I don't think anyone else has yet (unless I missed it). It has an 's' in British spelling, and a 'z' in American spelling. Either way is functional.

I agree with the above anawers. If the person demanding the apology is willing to discuss why it offended them then conversation can keep going and perhaps an apology is in order.  Apologies are given not ordered.

well, i disagree then.

if someone calls me an idiot, bitch, or something derogatory, then i demand an apology.  its happened to me many times, and either the person apologizes or they don't.  if they don't, then i think it says a lot about them.  for example, on facebook a few weeks back i was involved in a heated debate, and a guy posted that i was, and i quote, ' a child pimp for pedophiles and perverts'.  you bet your sweet bippy i demanded an apology for that.  when he refused, i simply blocked him. 

i usually make it clear why i am demanding the apology, though... i'm not sure why someone would approach you and demand an apology without telling you what you said or did that pissed them off.  imho, an apology under those circumstances would be rather pointless.

I once called my minister on a point of order at a church board meeting when he said that something I felt strongly about was 'asinine'.   I turned to the Chair, and told her "Point of Order.  I was just insulted.  No one has the right to call anyone's honest opinions 'asinine'. "    She turned to the minister and asked him to appologize.  He did, and we got on with the meeting.   I don't remember if it ever came to a vote but my point of view was in the minority and defeated.  I'm glad I called him and got the appology.

I may tell someone that I was upset by something they said or did, however I would never demand an apology...I'd rather have no apology than a forced, insincere one.

There is nothing wrong with asking for an apology. There is something wrong with knowing that you owe someone an apology and not offering it. If someone does request an apology, and you honestly don't think that you've done anything wrong then I believe it best to politely request further clarification.

I think it is absolutely acceptable to say someone's actions hurt or upset you. I also don't consider it a bad thing to clarify that an apology/acknowledgement of wrongdoing is something that would appease you/go a long way. But speaking just for myself - apologies have to be sincere and followed up by corrective action to work if I'm the 'wronged' party, and I don't apologize unless I feel it's owed if I'm the 'wronging' party. In the long run, apologies are meaningless unless they are sincere, which coerced apologies cannot be. Just as forgiveness is something that is given, not demanded, while one's desire for an apology can be expressed, the rest is up to the apologiser.