Maybe we don't want to come out of the woodwork.

That figures

Some introverts, like me, are socially shy. I have been scarred by WWII experiences as a child, and never quite overcame the resulting fear of people and social shyness. I do, however, have no difficulties communicating or expressing myself in writing. That's why a social forum like wondercafe is the ideal form of social communication for me.

On wondercafe I can be extroverted while being introverted.

There's a difference between being shy and being introverted. A person who's shy has difficulty in social situations, finds it hard to meet new people, etc. To be introverted is more a personality type.

Basically an "introvert" (unless they're also shy) is someone who finds social interaction draining, and who generally needs downtime or alone time to recharge afterward. An "extrovert" on the other hand finds being alone difficult and possibly depressing and needs social interaction to recharge. It has nothing to do with liking or not liking being around people; it has to do with how we respond to being around people.

I, for example, am an introvert. I have no problem with social events, but I do find them exhausting and I need downtime afterward to get my energy back. So I often have to have a nap after church. At the very least I retreat to some place quiet and alone because the social interaction of church tires me. It's not that I dislike socializing - but it tires me out and drains me.

Some don't grasp that. A recent thread, for example, dealt with how clergy treat social invitations from parishioners. I openly said that I don't care if I get social invitations from parishioners. I think the op in that thread took it as insulting that socializing with parishioners feels like work to me. But it does. It shouldn't be taken as insulting. It's just that I'm an introvert. Social affairs can be very enjoyable but they always leave me drained and needing to recharge.

You raise a good question naman, and though you mistyped cafe as cave, it is appropriate

Does wondercafe provide a place for people to kinda cozy in, and take and give nourishment as able.

I think I am an introvert . . . I work hard at trying not to be .

In the Myers Briggs sense of it - introvert & extrovert refer also (if I remember correctly ... it's been a while!) to one's preferred communication style - introverts preferring to review & ponder more internally, formulating their thoughts quite fully & thoughtfully before speaking (or posting!).  Extroverts, on the other hand, often speak and think simultaneously - shifting & reformulating their ideas frequently as the conversation evolves - they're more of a 'think out loud' style.    I'm kinda on the cusp between the two, with a leaning toward the introvert side. 

So as not to derail Jillianbell's thread "Calling All Introverts" this thread also gives extroverts a chance to have their say.  Let us just hope that the extroverts do not get the upper hand.

Not so funny Kimmio.  As Gecko said -"Mabe we don't want to come out of the woodwork".

I would say, I am an introvert Naman. I can be an outspoken one at times- when I get the courage up. I ponder a lot. Sometimes speak in haste. But, I do understand what you're saying.

What makes you think we're all in the woodwork anyway? Introverts can be outgoing. I am t times - it depends on my mood. It usually takes me time to warm up to new people but once I do I can be really quite talkative - depending on the subject being discussed. I'm an ISFP. My cohort in seminary did the official MBTI-II together as part of our Internship course.

Well said Rev. Steven. A time I was really drained was following a seminary retreat I was on this past August. We had class and social times every day, as well as meals at tables with others where we discussed ministry. At the end of the week I was exhausted, and spent the weekend sleeping and nursing a rather large headache.

INFP here. I wonder, though, if I go between F,T, and J.

Thanks Jae.  It is not so much that I think that the introverts are all in the woodwork as it is that I am wondering about the lurkers.

We're cousin-types. I like that :)

Ah, got it. Thanks for clarifying naman. I wasn't considering that.

didja hear the one aboot the great introvert orgy?

they all sat there and looked at each other in silence

for hours...

Such a joke feeds into the myth that introversion = shyness. It simply isn't true. Introverts can be very much into physical pleasure.

Introvert orgy?...  Probably not a good idea here at WonderCafe

like the infamous procastinator's convention where no one comes?

By the way Inanna.  I am wondering which end of the scale you fit into.

Hi naman,

We aren't wood lice.

Some of us have been fairly open about our introversion.  If one goes by my typical Myers Briggs scores my introversion preference dominates all other scores.

I'd like to say that I am as social as anyone.  I know that is far from being truthful.  The truth is the better I know the group or the more comfortable I feel within the group the more likely I am to be open.  Until then I am guarded and I don't reveal much.

Grace and peace to you.

John

I think I must be an introvert as although I enjoy spending time around others I also like to spend more time alone or with just one other person.  Many people have described me as 'stand-offish' or even 'snobbish' when I have not jumped right in to a group or activity. In real life I lack those finer points of 'social behavior'.  My table manners are just fine but I don't seem to know when it is appropriate to speak or stay silent.

I suspect that even though most folk declare themselves to be either one or the other (with a noticable preference to be an introvert) -most folk are a combination of both -expressing either intro or extro in different situations.

One interesting take I read was what do you do when you're upset? Do you seek out others(extrovert), or prefer to be on your own (introvert)?

I "go to ground" for a while - but confide in someone close to me.

There was a time when I didn't - and the self-imposed isolation made things worse. The solution for me is empathy and emotional support - which you can only get from another.....

It's theoretically possible to be 100% introvert, or 100% extrovert, but I believe that very, very few people are either. I'm about 70% introvert.

the scale where the prosciutto is, of course *waggles eyebrows*

anyhew as the the master mason said to the apprentice

i can get high off of people.  i find people endlessly fascinating.

there have been a few people who i have totally clicked with, its been almost like we're of the same mind...

there have been some people where i have found out there is a short limit to how long i can stay with them before my vitality gets drained

i'm a gesturer -- which i have since modified to accomodate my sweetie's wishes

i totally get into movies at theatres.  i laugh out loud & cry...

a sort of timer starts every time i enter a mall.  when the timer ends, i have to get out of there.  just have to.

i also love being alone.

(though my current version of hell is being alone and knowing that i will be alone always)

there are also certain places in nature that totally kick my cans.  really get the juices flowing.

but i can't live very long in total wilderness; i base that on my 1987 summer job as an assistant geologist just north of Terrace, BC, atop a mountain for 3 months.

i love talking.  i have a moderate stutter.  when i first learned how to deal with it, it was like an explosion of life.

i also can be silent for days at a time.

there are certain movies, books and authors that totally turn me on.  there are some that totally turn me off.  after i read a book, i tend to almost take on the feelings and ideas of the book for a bit after that...

i used to be extremely shy

so i've learned to compensate? *waggles eyebrows*

i love cuddling.  just being with my sweetie.

i find sex to be immensely funny

if i witness actual anger or violence i tend to shudder afterward.  almost feel sick.

so i don't know what that makes me in your eyes, naman?

It is making my eyes stop looking over my shoulder and watch where I am going rather than what is one step behind me.

Thanks to all the posters in this thread. I do not have professional knowledge of the issues being discussed and you are having a profound effect on me.

Others are welcome to continue commenting in this thread. But, in order to keep it from getting too complicated, I intend to start a new thread in which I will elaborate on how WonderCafe has hellped me deal with the introvert extrovert thing.

Not so funny Kimmio.  As Gecko said -"Mabe we don't want to come out of the woodwork".

[/quote]

Hey Kimmio

The other posters in this thread seem to be introverts who are saying that WonderCafe is giving them a chance to be extroverts except for Gecko who has not said much.  Nor have you had much to say in this thread, Kimmio.  Are you still laughing about there being introverts at WonderCafe?

Hi Naman,

No, Naman. I do not find it funny that there are introverts on WC. I found the play on words funny. (nor do I find it funny that there are extroverts on WC.)

Not so funny Kimmio.  As Gecko said -"Mabe we don't want to come out of the woodwork".

[/quote]

Hey Kimmio

The other posters in this thread seem to be introverts who are saying that WonderCafe is giving them a chance to be extroverts except for Gecko who has not said much.  Nor have you had much to say in this thread, Kimmio.  Are you still laughing about there being introverts at WonderCafe?

[/quote]

Giving them a chance...?

Personally, I don't want to be an extrovert, thanks. I am very thankful for my ISFPness.

I thought I had posted in here and see that I hadn't. I am an introvert who is quite outgoing. I seem to have convinced people that I am an extrovert in some situations. I'm not. While some social situations do indeed energize me, ultimately, I can only take so much before I have to go back to my charging station inside. I was on a tour last summer that meant about 14 of us were together for 10 days. It was awesome on many levels. I was also very happy I had brought my knitting so I could meditate and do something on the bus that was feeding my introvert. I could even be moderately sociable with that knitting project.

Wondercafe has never been a place where I'm given a chance to be an extrovert. As an introvert, I am sometimes more comfortable expressing my thoughts in writing instead of verbally. Wondercafe is one place where I can do this. It has been a place where I can read other people's thoughts, and where those thoughts are not interrupted by people talking over each other.

I've sometimes wondered if the more active Internet users aren't introverts.....

[quote=naman] The other posters in this thread seem to be introverts who are saying that WonderCafe is giving them a chance to be extroverts except for Gecko who has not said much [/quote]

No. Wonder Cafe isn't giving me a chance to be an extrovert. I never even hinted at that. It's impossible for me to be an extrovert. I'm not one. I don't want to find a chance to be one.

Hi naman,

Ummmmmm.  Not me.

Introversion is the way I lean.  It is my preference.  WonderCafe.ca doesn't offer me an opportunity to be an extrovert (I mean it is virtual community after all).  Nor am I looking for opportunities to be an extrovert (as if introversion is some disease to be corrected).

What WonderCafe.ca offers me (as an introvert) is an opportunity to enter into discussion at my own pace and according to my own preferences.  At most it allows me to establish a sense of familiarity with someone else so that in the off chance we actually meet face to face I'll be just a smidgen more open.

Grace and peace to you.

John

Not so funny Kimmio.  As Gecko said -"Maybe we don't want to come out of the woodwork".

[/quote]

I'm quite comfortable snuggled up in my cosy space inside the woodpile.  Let me know when it's spring, and maybe I will have something to say then.  

Oh dear me and my incorret assumptions. My apologies and thanks for your attempts to set me straight.

I picked up a book at our local library last week but didn't get a chance to open it until Sunday.  I am finding it awesome and forcing myself to read it slowly!  Lots of studies and interpretations of studies into introversion and why the world needs introverts.  I'm only on Chapter 3 and I know some people here would learn some useful facts from it. So - may I recommend - "Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain  ISBN 978-0-307-35214-9. Published by Crown - 2012

Yes Northwind - the book points out that more introverts use internet discussion than extroverts.  Of course, the first 'home computer' was invented by an introvert!

???????????????

I don't think I fit into either the definition for introvert nor extrovert.  I'm probably more of an introvert, I like being around people, but I do find it tiring after a while.  I need my own space, staying over at someone else's place can be a stressor for me.

I'm not energized by being alone though.  Having a quieter connection with someone energizes me.  That can be an afternoon with a friend, or being somewhere that includes staying overnight with someone I can feel at home with.

I am an introvert, but as someone said, "sometimes and outspoken one", -- at least on paper!  While I have written extensive letters to presbytery, I have had no real feedback from them about problems within the church. I don't come here often because I sometimes feel as though I only come here to vent when no one else seems to be listening.

Generally, I don't like large gatherings, but still have a need to connect with other people.  When I have someting on my mind that is bothering me, I need to talk to someone.  I usually do that best by the written word.  I am no good at thinking on my feet, but need time to ponder the problem or question at hand.  Sitting down with one or two friends can also be comforting.  I do need my "alone" time, but sometimes worry that I need too much of it.

Gecko, I was directing the comment to those who posted just before you did and told me that I my assumptions were not accurate.

So well said. It seems that extroversion is more valued in society some days. I suppose that is mostly because extroverts are generally better at blowing their own horns than introverts. That's just a guess. Introversion is most certainly not a disease or character flaw!

No problem, naman.  I'm enjoying the discussion.  I'm an introvert, so takes me awhile to get motivated to join in.  

Introverts rule!