It's always a strange experience to hear your own voice - I know mine always sounds a little different recorded than it does, to me, in real life.

I'm generally way too critical of myself to want to hear what I sound like, even though these days, it's happening a lot - my lectures are recorded through video capture, and I also record short lessons for an online class. I rarely can get myself to watch or listen to the full recording, once made, however. My voice sounds too high to be authoritative, there are way too many "umms" as I search for the right word, knowing how little patience there is for "dead air", and realizing that many things could have been said more succinctly, more eloquently, more persuasively or more coherently. Same thing applies to a musical performance I might give. I rarely want to hear how I sounded, because once again, it often doesn't measure up. Now sometimes this is a problem with inferior sound recording equipment - things sound "tinnier", less full and somehow missing something. But just as often it is because there's a mistake somewhere and it's sticking out like a sore thumb. That's why I often prefer the memory of things - the rough edges have been smoothed away, the problematic moments assume their rightful weighting (much lower on the scale) and it's easier to remember an overall impression without having to focus on the difficult excerpts.  And then there are those who would gush enthusiastically about my music in spite of the errors. Sometimes I wish I could have their memory instead of mine.

Hey! That'll be great to hear your sermon!

I'd be interested to hear your music (singing?) Spirit Bear.

I find it unsettling to hear myself say my own name... And on recordings I'm so overly aware of my feelings present in my voice. It's embarrasing and intimidating somehow.Then I recorded myself singing not long ago, that was so cringe inducing I had to delete it! 10 times more embarrasing!

However, I intend to overcome this silliness and put up some sort of poetry reading slideshow on Youtube.

A month of so ago I was invited to lead the 'children's time' on a special Sunday.   The childen were attentive, they participated well.   After the service and in the next few days I got many compliments - enough so I began to wonder "Could I have been that good?"

Then I remembered that the 'sound' man had asked my permission to include my 'time' in the church pod cast, so I sat down at my compute alone, found the church web and the podcast.   Hearing my own voice brought me down a peg or two in a hurry.    

One of the odd things about hearing the tape is how much of that service I've forgotten. Not my own parts, because I still have all the notes both on paper and in Word. But I'd completely forgotten that it's one of the rare services of mine where I didn't do the children's story (I usually have one prepared to fit with my theme and sermon). Or that one of the best speakers in the church (far better than me) was the service leader*. Or that Mrs. M lit a candle for the survivors of the Szechuan earthquake (this was in spring 2008) and I did a Chinese meditation using readings from Lao Tzu.

Mendalla

* We have two people at the front normally. The worship leader is the one who decides the theme of the service, prepares the service, sermon, rituals, etc. This, of course, is the minister on most Sundays, but he gets one Sunday off per month plus has study leaves and the like that we need to cover with lay preachers, guest speakers, etc. The service leader assists by organizing the nuts and bolts, doing some parts of the service, etc. If there is an outside speaker doing the presentation (sermon/talk), then the service leader generally takes on some of the worship leader role as well unless the speaker is familiar enough with our practices to do more (e.g. a UU minister or official).

During a seminary course on "Preaching and Worship' we were required to write and deliver a sermon in front of the rest of the class.  Through the magic of videotape we later sat one-on-one with the professor and watched ourselves preach,  Egad, that was painful.  It was also a  great 'learning opportunity.'

All I could think of as I viewed myself was a bit of doggeral from childhood...

I know how ugly I are.

My face, it ain't like a star.

But I don't mind it,

because I'm behind it.

The ones out in front get the jar.

LOL. Our Worship Weavers group (a combination Worship Committee and worship discussion/exploration group) wants to do this exercise at some point.

Mendalla

One of the ministers in the congregation I attended in Edmonton did her PhD on preaching. Her sermons were vdeoed and she had to exchange them with a classmate. On several sundays we also were offered the opportunity to provide written comments.

It was a distance study course-with chunks of time on campus. Interdenominational-even some baptists participated.

I must say she is a great preacher-and that congreagtion now has a very discrete camera and all serives are recorded for shut ins-and others.

I was thinking about this after I led worship at our church last Sunday.  I was thinking that I wished I could tape my service so I could see if I need to correct how I speak, stop from making funny faces, perhaps smile more, etc. etc. 

My family United Church did audio recordings for shut-ins back in the eighties. I'm not actually sure why my service at my fellowship got taped. We don't seem to be recording services as a matter of practice right now. We're replacing the sound system soon (yay!) so I'm hoping the new system might allow for recording to MP3 audio or something. Cassettes are so eighties .

Mendalla

I am sooo guilty of my head swelling from all of the wonderful comments on my sermons or my voice. I am a superstar in my own head, that is, until I actually see a video or hear a recording then I am immediately back to seeing my self as the buzzard in the cartoons flying along singing, "I'm brinin home a baby bumble bee/ Bumble, bumble baby baby bumble"

Have to admit that it's good people are so charitable in their opinions.

Hello BigDave, Interesting post there. I wonder quite a bit about how praise and fame affects people's psychology.  That's a little insight there from the small scale. Maybe you are as good as they say though. You know the saying, You're your own worst critic. I've heard a singer I love say stuff he did was goofy, and he's embarrased. It makes me wonder about these things...

So Mendalla, when do we get to hear your sermon??