You are right Pinga - wherever we go, whatever we do people see us and can be influenced by our behaviour.  

I am especially careful about stopping and looking both ways before crossing the street when my grandson is with me, and I always wait for a walk sign at an intersection, even when there is no traffic in sight and it is -20 with a wind.  I'm also careful to wear my helmet when biking - although I had biked for years and years before the helmet laws came in.  Yes, I think I'm careful when children are around.

But I think others are also influenced by our behaviour.  I would like to think of myself as someone people could trust and respect.  Among my friends and neighbours, and the people I come into contact with, I would like to think that they see a person who is kind, thoughtful, helpful, who doesn't gossup, or get impatient with the elderly or slow, and who would be a good role model.   I don't always live up to it. 

And I choose my role models, not from TV or sports or politics, but from the people I meet.  There is a person I bowl with:  he sometimes drinks too much, he sometimes tells off-colour jokes - but he never gossups, never criticizes, and is always helpful - whether it is selling tickets for the 50/50 draw or giving somebody a ride home in his rickety old car.  He is a role model.  So is my cousin, who at a funeral home could look around the room and see the young husband and little girl getting lots of attention, and the teenage boy off by himself in a corner and who went over and sat beside him and talked - and who when she saw an elderly woman fall down in a crowded church parking lot was the first to reach her and hold her head while I stood and wrung my hands and somebody else rang for an ambulance.  She is a role model. 

We all have people we look up to and admire and influence our behaviour.  And we don't really know who is looking up to us and influenced by how we act or react and how we treat others.

Seeler, thank-you for that.   I think of a wonderful woman who attended our church when I first started.  I didn't understand church, gosh, I think sometimes I still don't, but.....she was amazing.  A tiny thing who could influence a crowd, just by a gentle movement, or a clear voice.  She modelled to the community so much....

I am reflecting on it, as this weeks work is Mark 10:35-45

Great service.....greatness in Christian community.

as my little one's focus for this morning states...."To discover that all kinds of greatness matters"

Note: in terms of teaching, she taught about hospitality by being a wonderful host, her home was simple - her focus was on the guests , there was always a cup of tea ready at Ida's.  (I think that I need to re-remember and reflect on that..I know I self-select out of hosting events as my house is not as nice as others, or doesn't have great seating arrangements, or ...whatever)

She taught about ageist, by not being so...

Great things to think about pinga.  Great thread for discussion.

Hey Pinga!

Funny thing, I think about that stuff all the time! Like you mentioned, in public, at the crosswalk...I too, like seeler, will wait until the crosswalk 'person' is on...I'm sure there are times when I could just skootch across but what if my kids were watching???...and we will always walk to a safe place to cross...why are people so lazy that they can't walk 10 feet to an intersection and lack the patience to wait???

When it comes to online stuff, I told my kids if they wouldn't be comfortable with me seeing what they were saying or doing online, they shouldn't be doing it!

I think it's not just about how you are appearing to others, it's about being true to your charactor!

Aside to Pinga......... I'm glad I'm not the only one who self-selects out of hosting events at my place! "Stuff" has never had much appeal for me, as a consequence my spare cash goes on experiences and travel. At the same time, I'm aware by most people's standards my place could do with some renovating.

Now, back on thread......

When it comes to the grandchildren, I concentrate on modelling "nice ways". By that I mean emphasising sharing, being considerate, treating others with respect, etc. I tell them by observing these "rules" they'll attract nice friends and have a nice life.

The same rules apply to adults. But, we humans are still animals, and act inappropriately at times. There are times when a sudden rush of blood to the head brings out the worst in me....

It dawned on me that a nicer home is one filled with love, that books lying around, or toys to be tripped over, are just a sign of that love...

that kitchens full of pots and dishes are signs of food being cooked for self & others

that walls not painted, or projects not finished are common in homes where people choose to do stuff for others rather than for self.

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I'm definitely not the best, and i recognize that I have been swearing at my desk lately, a lot more than i should....kinda in a mumbling way.  No one sits around me that i can see, yet someone sits on otherside of wall.  on friday, there child was there, and i was quite conscious of my language.

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What do you think.?

Today, we discussed being a servant leader with the youth, and people had to name what they were good at.   Funny, those who are really good at helping others, of being someone you can count on...didn't see anything they could name.  I worked hard at naming that for the those youth in particular -- two that are awesome with kids, and one that will do anything anytime you ask..."sure" he says, when asked.

How do you model to them being okay with what your gifts are?  What are the gifts that you have that may not be seen by society as a valuable gift by $$$ but are essential to who you are and valuable to our society?

I try to be a decent role model.  It's subjective, isn't it?  What one person deems appropriate, another wouldn't.  I terms of kids it's really important though.  I can remember enough from my childhood to understand how big the impression of adult  behaviour can be on a kid. 

Re: Hospitality.   I really can't squeeze any more than a couple of people at my home.  I'm just not set up for it and can't pretend to be.  I'm just a working stiff at the low end of the pay scale and can't accomodate a complex round of social interactions involving "hosting".

I'd suggest meeting at a pub or coffee shop. I'll contribute to the pot luck.

good point, nf, sometimes, it is the physical dimensions...

I'm with you Ninja in terms of hosting things.  Small apartment and 1 or 2 guests are the max.  And only 1 person really fits in the galley kitchen :-)  I tend to meet people for lunch or contribute to a potluck etc.

As for role models that's a good question.  I don't have children but I always worked with children as part of my profession and have friends with children.  And nieces.  So that's been important to me. 

So thinking about public places I think being kind and patient and polite when out are important.  Nothing like seeing an adult lose it like a 2-year-old at a store or whatever.  Or rude to a server at a restaurant.  Or any other person.  I've seen that happen with kids watching on in the area and it makes me cringe.  And generally being considerate of other people and helpful when out.  I think that's a good thing to model anywhere. 

Not sure what to say about modelling being OK with our own gifts Pinga.  I tend to be much better at recognizing the gifts that children have and commenting on that, but get that modelling being OK with our own gifts as adults is important.  Good question.   Have to think about that. 

TL

That is the most powerful commercial i've ever seen...:'(

As-salaamu alaikum...

-Omni

I live in a small 3 bedroom bungalow - 3 bedrooms, one bathroom, livingroom is about 12  x 14, and eat-in kitchen is smaller. 

I've hosted UCW meetings, bridal and baby showers of 10 to 12+ people.  I've had card parties set up with three tables for 12 to 14 people and served them coffee and sweets.  And one time when there was a death in my brother-in-laws family and my sister and family were coming from another province I invited them all to dinner their first night.  Fifteen people.  I cooked a turkey and a ham, mashed potatoes, potato salad, a couple of vegies, and a green salad - tea and applie pie and ice cream.  We sat the four children at the back of the kitchen table and fixed their plates for them.  Then everybody else took a plate and walked around the kitchen helping themselves to food from pots and bowls on the counter and table.  The older folks got the best seats in the livingroom with a coffee table or end table, the younger adults found chairs or sat on the floor. Everybody was fed, and felt warm and welcome before going back to their hotel rooms. 

Small spaces do place limitations on gracious dining, but hospitality comes first at my place.