So I write a lot of poetry but have never shared it with anone I have been writing it daily for 3 years and it has become my way to release my emotions. I have always wanted to share it but have never had anyone so I figured I would share some here and  also would love to hear anyone elses who just feels like sharing.

This one is from a little over a year ago.

The Growing Until The Closing

It starts out as just a scratch

Nothing big just a small dent

But looking at that is so comforting

The one thing in life within her control

The decision on how deep to go

How many times

How deep and long

How much pain to bring

To consol her broken heart

It grows into something deeper

As her heart breaks even smaller

The cuts grow a little bigger

A paper clip transforms into a knife

The ridges turn into blood

Oh the blood more comforting

Then any words which could be said

A onetime experiment grows

Into a daily routine

Of piecing her heart back together

One cut at a time

The words which cannot be said

The taboo words of all the pain

Are shown there upon her wrists

Every horrible word

And all the shame and embarrassment

Carried within those little words

Is now carved into her wrists

Showing the world all that is inside

But she will keep it hidden

Away from prying eyes

Can’t break the image

Number one student

Can’t show how broken this smart girl is

Can’t show how she lets this demon control her

But she doesn’t fight this demon

Instead she embraces it like an old friend

A comfort to her in these hard times

When all she wants to do is end it all

But with this comfort she lives another day

A consolation prize

A trade that has been made

Either die or cut

No other choice in sight

At least not for her

So for now she chooses the knife

And continues on trying to be happy

Ah happy what a concept

She thinks she remembers that once

Once when life was easy

Simple

Uncomplicated

When her whole heart

Still belonged to her

When it was still a whole

Not shattered to pieces

Those pieces toss around inside

They cut deep

Prove to her she is not good enough

Totally deserving of love

Has every right

But never good enough

For all the rest of the world

Never skinny enough

Never pretty enough

Never perfect enough

To earn the love of a certain one

No matter how unconditional

Her love for them might be

It will never be enough

So she continues to cut

Lets the pain tear

Those very thoughts from her head

Swims in the lake of lightness

When the blood flows too much

Wishes she could make it more

So this feeling could take her away

No longer would have to feel the

Hurt

Embarrassment

Hate

Brokenness

Loneliness

No longer would be the

Outcast

Of

Life

Love

But for now

She just continues on

Not satisfied

With how deep she is going

Wishes she could go deeper

But she will hold on

For the hope

Of someday having

Love

And

Happiness

Until then

The knife will continue on

Making its path

Across her wrists

Maybe someday someone

Will take the time to notice

The things she has etched there

Or how long sleeves cover

The physical evidence

Of the emotional pain

That she will never show

For fear of the consequences

It would hold

Can’t be the

Crazy Girl

Cutter

Suicidal teenager

Can’t hold these titles

Would be the ending

Of all she does have

So instead she

Stays quiet

Wallows in her misery

Until the day

When the pain passes

Or someone reaches inside

Her protective bubble

And shows her a greater world

Than the one she knows

When this day comes

She will put away the knife

Let the outside scars heal

And maybe someday even

Let the inside scars

HEAL

Would love to read anyone elses and I'll post somemore somtime soon!