There is another topic in the Social Forum that is about the changing dynamics of a particular organization.  I made a comment about how I would feel if a different group I belonged to changed in its dynamics and a question arose to me about it.  I chose not to derail the wonderful thread that it was, so i started this new one.

I mentioned that I belonged to a ladies group that met regularly.  And that if for whatever unknown reason we were required to welcome and include men that I would probably not continue in the group because it wouldn't be meeting my same needs.

I was asked "why not"?  And what would so radically change that I felt compelled to quit?

This particularly ladies group meets the needs for me of several ladies getting together and sharing and learning and growing together in a special bond in a certain way.  If it became a mixed group there would not be the same feel for me in the sense that there would be things I would share as a woman with other women, but not with other men.  So for me, the dynamics would change significantly.  It isn't that I wouldn't want to belonged to any kind of mixed group, but that I would prefer to join a different mixed group rather than have the women only group change to mixed.

It all depends.  Being on the committee/leader of a group rather than just a member can alter the dynamics greatly from an individual perspective.  I've never started my own group.

If others seem happy with the group, I might quit.  I usually stick around first for a while to see if it's something I might enjoy once I get used to the change.

If others do not seem happy, I've started a discussion.

I started a Woman's Bible Study. One morning a man came. He was  treated cordially but he didn't return. These two questions arose for me. Why did he feel uncomfortable and was there a need for a men's group

. These women became very close and I think that men would have taken from the friendships that arose

Hi Beloved,

If I started attending to have certain needs met and the dynamics changed so that my needs were no longer being met I'd find another group.

Things change and sometimes they change faster or slower than I want or need.  I take the steps that I consider most appropriate to deal with that change.  I'm not interested in holding others back nor do I appreciate when others try to hold me back.

Grace and peace to you.

John

Men and women - I'm thinking of my church groups.

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Bible / theological study/ discussion - I belong to two groups. Both are led by a male retired minister (but I sometimes fill in is he misses). Both men and women take part.
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Book Club - it was all female when I first joined. Then the minister (male) started coming occasionally if he was interested in the book of the month. Then another man joined - and another man and his wife. Generally we have about 8 women and 2 men at our meetings. Sometimes we welcome a man's point of view. Sometimes we venture further in our choice of books to appeal to all interests.
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Writer's Group - about half and half.
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We also have UCW in our church, and a quilters group. I don`t belong to either but I am quite sure they are all women.
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Sometime the men get together for a breakfast.

Group Dynamics - when I joined the Book Club it had about a dozen members, with about 8 or 10 at each meeting.  Within a few years it had grown closer to 20 members.  There was a suggestion on evening that we break into two groups.  We discussed it.  Some people didn`t think they had a chance to express themselves in the larger group.  I felt that could be remedied by remembering our manners, or having each person in the circle speak in turn, if they wished; and I didn`t want to see the group split because I liked almost everybody and wouldn`t know which group to go with.  Others didn`t want to split either.

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So we stayed in one group. Within a short time our numbers had dropped considerably - but gradually built up again. We missed the ones who had dropped out. That was about two years ago. I recently learned that they have formed their own book club, meeting in their homes rather than the church. Meanwhile our church group is up to 15 or so, but we all seem to get along.

I would share my thoughts with others in the group.  If everyone else was happy with the status quo I would quietly quit.  The group or activity isn't, of course, all about me or any other individual.  Actually the situation mirrors my experiences with a congregation. 

If the group wasn't meeting my needs any more, I imagine that I would eventually leave.

Thing is, I believe that it is quite possible for me to find, "sharing and learning and growing together in a special bond..." in a mixed group. That's what prompted my question to you. To each their own, it's all good.

It honestly depends on the group. If I am still happy being a part of it, then I usually keep going - while also looking for another group that will meet my needs. Sometimes I may choose to try and reform the group from within. If, however, I go home from the gathering feeling that I am not looking forward to the next gathering, then I know it is time for me to leave.

I might drop out of the group. It would depend on whether I found it enjoyable and it filled other needs.

But let's say its a group of singles. These singles had a Bible study and also did social things like bowling. Then some married people joined. One or two might be ok. But if it became predominatelty marrieds there would be a different dynamic

Or let's say a group of singles w/o kids. Then some singles with kids joined. The ones with kids would worry about eating supper with their child and getting a babysitter. The conversations would be different and this puts restrictions on the group. Maybe the children would even come along. Then we can't have a pool night for example.