Our church has sponsored refugee families a number of times.  Sometimes it's been mainly financial support and a little settlement assistance, at other times it's required longer term committment.

Our last venture in this area, we sponsored a young  single woman from Africa - who arrived with an 8 month old child!   She had no formal education, although she could speak English.   There were huge cultural issues to address, as well as her education.  Now, her daughter is about 7 years old, we still have a strong circle of support around her, although our legal obligation to her was only for one year.  She has completed high school - graduated with honours, and now is working on a degree in nursing.  We are so proud of her.  But several members of the congregation continue to mentor her, and we do still provide both instrumental (e.g. child care) and financial support.  It's a great committment.

My church is one of a group of three that regularly sponsers refugees - I think one or two families a year.  I am not on the committee so I don't know all the details, but I do know that we find them an apartment and provide furniture and a fridge full of groceries for when they arrive.  I have heard people from the committee talk about driving them to dentist appointments, etc.  Recently there was a notice in our church bulletin that a men needed a bicycle to get to and from work and the next week there was a thanks for its donation. 

A problem I heard people mention, a young teen girl in one of the families was not attending school regularly.  She was enrolled, but often kept home to help with the younger children, to go somewhere with the mother as translator, etc.  We provided her with a desk to study at.  When someone from the committee visited the apartment a few weeks later they discovered that the desk was being used as a TV stand, the family proudly showed off school work completed by the two boys, and when asked about the girl pulled out boxes of crocheting and handiwork that she had completed.  Her schooling - it didn't matter.  Girls didn't need education.

Another problem is a conflict of interests.  Each year at Christmas one of the churches involved adopts two or three families and provides for their Christmas - a hamper, a book for each family member, a favourite toy for the children, and something for the teens and parents.  But for several years in a row people working on the refugee committee promoted their families, requestion support for them rather than local families.  Some people in the congregation pointed out that local families who visit the food bank and community kitchen also need help at Christmas. 

Wouldn't it be nice seeler, if we could help everyone at Xmas?   I wouldn't really see it as a conflict of interest myself.  If people are needing continued support, I think it's a good thing to provide.  I do get it though that they are not alone in needing help.

Yes - the cultural differences are something we sometimes might not take into account for these families - as you described their different attitude to their girl child.   

There was so much we had to work on with our young person - she had never used money for example - having lived in camps for most of her life.   Managing health concerns like menstrual periods, and helping her wean her baby when it was time;  learning to use a north american style toilet; learning what the foods in the supermarket are called, what to eat for good health, how to store & prepare the foods ... all stuff we take so much for granted. 

I had an interesting conversation with a woman from Kitchener.

Apparently the Menonites in the area do alot of sponsoring.  To the point that her school ( she was a principal) has 10 interpreter on staff full time.

She said that a new family there spends time in a large menonite home for a week or two as the first stop.

There the new family learns about cultural issues.  Running water, toilets, cooking, fires......  Bathing is a big issue with children.  For families that have lived for years in refugee camps the children will have never seen running water or toilets.

Once they have gotten through cultural boot camp then they are placed in an apartment and the kids in school.