How might someone be a drain on a congregation?

a) by insisting on maintaining sclerotic infrastructure that’s done its dash: liturgically awkward, environmentally hostile, over-sized, steadily failing, poorly accessible, dark, morose 19th century architecture fitted out with dark-varnished, immovable hardwood pews (a seamless semiotic of alienating classism and nostalgic colonialism) for which it’s necessary to constantly raise ridiculous amounts of money. (This insistence on buildings that are in as bad shape as their hour-a-week occupants — suggesting a desire to suffocate as many spiritual impulses as possible — is helping to stamp out organized Christianity in the West.)

b) by insisting that studies and workshops be offered but never attending them.

c) by insisting that “young people” be a priority whilst resisting any change that might make “church” endurable for them.

d) by insisting on “Biblical” preaching without actually reading the Bible oneself.

What choices does a congregation have?

A congregation needs to talk, discuss, think, debate, practise openness and inclusiveness… and generate a spirit-filled momentum of faith. It ought not simply stop in its tracks or disintegrate into confusion, conflicting priorities and loss of purpose. In my experience, it seems that, to be effective, foundations for the future need to be spiritual, not emotional, not theoretical, not strategic, not financial… but spiritual. Where is “god” leading us? That is the question.

I'm a bit trouble by the whole ideal that someone might be a drain on a congregation.   Yes, those of us who are able should work and contribute to the welfare of the whole.  Politically we should pay our taxes, speak up about justice issues, vote for the person or party that best represents the values we hold important.  And in the church it means we should give generously of our time, talent and treasure. 

But there are those among us who cannot work, and cannot contribute.  Perhaps we did but cannot any longer.  We studied and worshipped, and taught Sunday School, and worked at fund raising activities, and did outreach, and visited the sick, and served on committees.  And, if we didn't actually tithe, we gave generously to the church and to its activities.   But the time may come, as it has with me, when we are no longer about to work for wages, and no longer have much to contribute financially.  Unfortunately, at the same time it becomes increasingly obvious that we have to cut back on activities that we are no longer able to perform. 

And this might be at a time when we are bringing children (or grandchildren) to church and expecting there will be Sunday School and youth activities.  We might want the church to contribute to sending our child to camp or youth forum.  We might need the congregation to provide meals, or at least visit, or provide transportation to and from church.  

Are we then a drain on the congregation? 

Yes, work and contribute as you are able, but recognize that for many this is impossible - and that time might come for you as well. 

I prefer Jesus' story of the widow's mite.  She gave all she had, and it was valued more that that of the rich man who contributed only a portion - although he probably worked for that portion.

Seeler… I don't think a "drain" on a congregation is about money: it's about sapping the spiritual energy of others… different abilities and capacities often enrich and nourish a congregation's spiritual energies.

I agree Mike.  But that is not how I read the question.   It starts off with Paul explaining that he works so that he is not a burden to anybody; and ends with the question:  How might someone be a drain on a congregation?  

The implication I get is that a person might be a drain if  she doesn't work and doesn't have anything (money or energy or talent) to contribute and 'pay her way'.  

Yes, I can think of ways a person might be a drain even when they contribute.   Perhaps a person who gives generously but puts restrictions on how his gifts are used - so the church desperately needs a new roof but he donates money to repaint the sanctuary.     Or the church is trying to build up the Sunday School and the person complains to the worship committee and word gets back to the parents about noisy children in church.   Or the church wants to be a welcoming community and the person donates money for donations to be given out at the back door on Mondays, but doesn't welcome 'those people' on Sunday morning.

I would consider these people a drain - but the opening Biblical quote puts the emphasis on work to pay their way and not be a burden.   It leaves no room for charity (love and acceptance of those unable to contribute).

Again, I see spiritual impacts being the ones that matter. The Canadian Navy (if it's like the New Zealand navy) is not exactly organised around spiritual priorities.  What the story was about, as I read it, was being part of the team… about being ship's company. Personally, I don't think the paralells are great — a unit within a disciplined service like the military is not exactly comparable with a pastoral charge. And, if my naval experience was typical, I have to confess feeling that  getting your hands dirty is not exactly a giant leap towards involvement as ship's company… respect certainly used to be harder-earned on board a ship at sea.

When do I feel closest to God?

When I'm awake.

What makes me feel distant from the Holy?

Noise.

When do I feel closest to God?

When I am focused on God, either in thought, meditation, prayer, appreciation in nature, etc.

What makes me feel distant from the Holy?

When I allow myself to give into fear.

p.s. Why is this passage is title "Friends with Benefits"? Does the author know what that means? 

At boarding school, "obedience" meant humilation. In the Navy, it meant alertness to the safety of your shipmates, in newsrooms, "obedience"' has meant all sorts of things  to me — obedience to one's ethics, to the chief reporter, to one's news sense… but most importantly, meeting the deadline. On a newsroom, obedience has been, for me, a way of working. In the state, it is always to be measured.

"Obedience", to me, has has come to rest, more and more, on discernment and prayer… and it can come out as requirements to act or to refraining from acting, to speak out or to not spea out. It can be mild or extreme. It comes down to doing one's utmost to live fully in the universe of "god's will". Increasingly it seems to be at odds with society's norms and directions. So it could get to be costly.

I personally don't like to word "obedience." Why use it when "cooperation" is very close, but much more mutual?

I wonder how many of us would be obedient to God if faced with a situation like the one outlined in the passage: to utterly destroy the Amalekites. Kind of outrageous that the author would call that "God's mission" !!!

I have to admit that it depends on the Day although right now I can feel with Jeremiahs verse due to the health issues my husband is going through right now. I try to focus on the destination of my hubby being back to his normal robust self. I do a lot of praying for strength and look at the joy in the fact that he is getting better one step at a time.

The Lent story is about a journey a  journey to light and I am definely identifying with it now.

The suggested prayer -

Lord of heaven and earth

help us to find our place in your Story

and not lose sight of your guiding hand.

You are the true vine,

in whom we find our source and life.  Amen.

was meaningful for me.  I need to remind myself that while I have my own story, I am also a part of God's bigger story - I am here because I need to be - for the greater story to be played out as it should.

Sometimes I let go of the true vine, and then I quickly grasp hold when I remember that it is in God that I find my source and life.

I, too, go day by day… but aware that answers are often implicit in the questions: and, yes, it's the WHOLE of life that sorts out the questions that lead towards life's truths. I try to see the power of the contexts in which I live… it can be too easy to let the context form questions on my behalf. Prayer and reflection help to get me through those woods of distraction and illusion.

(I'm afraid I found 'Lord of the Rings' a wretched movie.)

I can't even imagine the big picture in my life. I think that is Godde's job. Life is very linear for me. Like a journey from one day to another, always trying to do the "next right thing", hopefully alert to the joys of the present moment at least some of the time. And remaining curious and hopeful about what might happen around the next corner. As much as possible.

I don't know how much I need to know my part in the Story, as long as I'm using my talents for the greater good. I certainly don't feel manipulated by a Giant Playwright.

(Mike, did you like the books, or not? If you didn't love the books, you wouldn't love the movies.)

What gives me hope today? Our Minister almost has a mantra :-) or perhaps I discovered ears to hear.She constantly says "God is in all things" That one sentence has pulled me through the labyrinth of cancer and seizures. This Lenten season I wander through the memories of this past year and I find the words apply I struggle to find how this fits in the "big" picture and as those words pull me into the realm of comfort and hope I realize I don't have to "fit" What a glorious gift of "Hope" Thankyou Barb :-)

It pains me to say, but my life feels like it is currently an "endless labyinth" or maybe an endless desert. There are glimpses of hope occasionally, but nothing that ever holds. Before I turned 40 my life was an amazing ride of wonder after wonder - sure there were hard parts, but the sense of possibility and potential never really went away. After 40 (which has been about 12 years now), has been a steady stream of limitations, rising up one after another, curtailing the wonder I once knew. Also, with the increasingly frequent death of friends and loved ones and the perpective of almost 52 years, I can now see where it all ends and it isn't as glorious as I had previously imagined (speaking here of our lives on Earth, not any afterlife). Add to that an increae in drinking and other bad, unproductive habits, adn yes, I am not quite out of the labyrinth yet I'm afraid....

I love labyrinths. I find a labyrinth a not-bad allegory for my life, and not terribly unpleasant, either. I haven't led a terribly goal-oriented life, my major objective being to get to 'the end' with some degree of sanity and a pleasant level of intimacy with Godde. That's my 'goal' when I approach a labyrinth, as well.

We won't reach Peace in one great glorious moment, either, like the finale to some group goal. It will sneak up on us. Some day, it will occur to someone that the last war has been over for a few years, and there are no more on the horizon. It will be like the last smallpox case. No-one knew it was the last one at the time.

What gives me hope? Mornings. There's always a fresh day, not touched yet.

Thanks BetteTheRed, that's hopeful indeed. I think part of the problem is that I've let go of my goals too often for the goals of another person (most often my partner I hate to say, because there's nothign but love there), and now I guess I am feeling short changed. But like a labyrinth, there is an end, though you may need to reverse your course from time to time. I do have hope, though it hasn't panned out in the way I thought in the past 10 years or so. The positive side is that my experinece really makes me respect the elders in my church in a way I never had before.

-- they have gone thorugh a lot and experienced the loss that is part of the human condition more than I have.

As long as we have breath we are in a labyrinth called life.........

We keep on moving along the path at our own individual pace......

"Keen buggers" see the labyrinth as a challenge to be conquered, a competition in which to excel.They race along at a furious pace -seeing nothing but the path ahead.

When they get to the end, they're left with a sense of disappointment - "What was that all about?"

Perhaps the wise ones know it's not the final destination that counts - but the journey itself?.............

Both can't see around corners - and there are times when that's a good thing.

Stop and smell the roses whenever you can, it encourages both hope and gratitude...........

Bette,

I gotta ask, it's aroused my curiosity - why do you say Godde?

Nicely put, PP!!!!

I do love and I do forgive… and, at the moment, anyway, my cupboard of regrets, hurts and   irritations is bare: I have to confess, my life is unimpeded and I'm finding some worthwhile new directions in which to express myself. 

Desert is a sparse place, without distractions. Desert is a place where quiet and solitude can be found. Desert is a harsh place that quickens the soul. The key is that quickening of the soul. It's hard to sustain in the thick of noise, stimulus, demands, agitation and surfeit.

I believe we all have a duty to attentiveness… it's a duty in which we fail when the small things are overwhelmed by blinding lights. deafening noise, cluttered and conflicting imagery. When we lose ourselves we cannot be "there" for others.

I'm not sure what the author means, but there are plenty of people living out a metaphorical desert in the midst of the city. Like creatures in an actual desert, they live on a daily basis with very scarce resources, with just enough to survive and, if this situation goes on longterm, their hearts and souls have been shaped by that experience. For those of us who are able to take in more resources, or even live on the edge of the desert of poverty, but not quite in it, we can "live the desert in the midst of the city" by walking with those in need, with those who live on the margins, with those who lack the means to get the resources we need. Our churches do this to some extent, as do various agencies and services. But I feel bad that the majority of urban Christians don't seem to believe this is their calling or responsibility -- except to do it through proxy, by giving money and paying taxes. Nothing wrong with that I guess, except I am not sure that is the discipleship Christ calls those who follow him to.