a bit late once you are expecting.

I've often thought that parenting needs to be a mandatory course every year in high school, and free parenting classes and supports should be universally available. 

Licensing?  A bit extreme IMO, but having seen some pretty lousy parenting skills, it sometimes seems like a good idea. 

You have to have a permit to drive a car, own a gun, buy a house, or catch fish...

but any moron can attempt to raise kids without any training or test of competency.

How ridiculous is that?

Are we thinking something simple like a sanity evaluation? What would a test of competency for parenting look like? What would happen if, after your children were born, you somehow violated the conditions of license? 

Having become a parent through adoption, I remember wondering how many people there would be on the face of the planet if everyone had to pass the kind of scrutiny we had placed on us in the home study before they could conceive.

It was hellish.

Christ's peace - r

Licensing whiffs strongly of eugenics.

Bad parenting has many causes. I'd like to see some of the causes addressed. But it's an area that seems to get little research funding. My guess would be that education gaps, poverty, the meadia-instilled values of galloping consumerism, Lotto, addictions, depression and wider social dysfunctionalities all contribute in their own, various ways.

richardbot,

 a VERY interesting point you haver there.  I was adopted, the arrangements made before I was even born.  It was through a private Catholic agency.  

I don't think my parents had to jump through NEARLY the hoops that are required today.  Which is a shame, because folks who should not be allowed to raise children keep cranking them out, while some  very deserving prospective parents who may have fertility issues cannot adopt due to some technicality in the system.  I understand it is a long drawn out tortuous process.

Peranting classes by middle school, definitely by high school.  Yes.  Perhaps even a refresher course during pregnancy, along with pre-natal care.  For both sexes of course. 

But licensing:  No.

Many reasons.    Many people might be able to take the course, read the book, and make a really good impression on paper or in a 'set-up' role playing situation - but be absolute failures when it comes to managing 24/7 with their own children. 

And many people who seem to know nothing about child rearing, come through with love, patience, and their natural instincts when it comes to loving and raising their child.

Suppose you couldn't afford to renew your parenting licence after the expiration date.  Would the children be confiscated and declared 'illegitimate'?

Parenting license?

Physically and politically impossible.

Parenting license?

Physically and politically impossible.

Gosh an idea whose time has come

Why not we have license for everything why not one for breeders

Too many morons breeding more morons at the taxpayers expense

 This idea is too scary.  Too much corruption could take place within a system such as this.  

Really Jes, should you be speaking of your parents that way to strangers?

And who exactly will set the standards for a pass or fail?  And who will police infractions?  And will we abort pregnancies that occur without a licence?...cms

Too bad you can't use some of that wit to have a real career !

And do you actually know what I do for a living Jes? Or was that just a lame stab in the dark, in absence of any real with of your own?

No but I can guess ......

Is it a big secret ....... ?

Parenting Liscence:  To be completed before adoption or before/during pregnany. Would educate about impacts of abuse, substance dependancy, etc. and healthy qualities of  functioning behaviour as a parent. If parents do not pass a particular chapter of the liscence, that would become a main focus on their part then (why didn't they pass it, what could be done to help them become prepared? Are there deeper issues that need resolving?). Do the parents have convictions? Yes? Do they need management in a certain area? Do they need to upgrade skills somewhere?

Would educate parents on warning signs of unhealthy function, resources, tips and tools, etc. If for example the parents had illiteracy for example, it would help those parents with direction for their children if they may not know where to get help. It could go over legalities concerning abuse, much like when you get a driver's liscence - what happens if you violate the law, consequences, etc.

Possibilities to this are endless. More opinions?

That sounds like a compulsatory parenting class.  It raises a lot of questions.  Can the potential parents skip the classes and simply write the tests if they think they have a good chance of passing?  Or do they have to take the basic classes even if they are well read, well educated, and experienced in working with infants and young children?   And what about the people who are good at writing tests but not good at the 24/7 that is involved in actual childrearing?  Or those who don't know all the answers, have poor classroom skills, but whose natural instincts bring out parenting skills one never knew existed?

And what about those who are already pregnant who refuse to attend classes, or who sit at the back of the room with their arms folded.  Yes, they flunk the class - but then are they forced to have an abortion and/or submit to sterilization?

My daughter willingly attended pre-marital classes, and childbirth classes, and would have attended parenting classes if they had been available, but these were voluntary.  I don't see how they could be forced, or a license issued upon successful completion.

...speaking of (I assume) young parents who feel it is their 'right' to bear offspring...I'd rather follow 12 drivers on cell phones on the freeway,  than one young mother with a screaming kid in a car seat.  "Baby on board" simply means, "Driver is paying more attention to the baby...and in a crisis she will think first about the baby, not about traffic and she's not using the rear-view mirror for traffic but rather to check on whether or not the baby jumped out of the car seat since she last checked 30 seconds ago..."

Or..am I wrong about the need for extra license tests for young mothers who want to drive and be affirmed - and subconciously deferred to because they've been, and are, with child -  as mothers at the same time????

I'd volunteer to compose both the written and road test - it would call for more multi-sensory assaults than required for  driving an armed military personnel carrier.  (I know: I've driven both armed military vehicles and cars with kids and grandkids; the first was a very helpful prelude to the second)

I wasn't interpreting this as a thread about having a driver's license.  More as a license to be a parent - like a license to own a gun, or a dog. 

I would be all for it.... if it will prevent the abuse of  children.  I think educating people is always a good thing.  Giving people tools to make a positive impact in the lives of our future works for all of us.  Requiring parents to take parenting classes works for me.  I think encouraging our society to be more responsible for our children is a step in the right direction.

Hi meoff66,

I don't feel that comfortable with the idea.

None of the preparation I did when we were expecting our first made me ready to change that first diaper.

Meconium is like tar, thankfully it doesn't reek.

And the pins for the diapers that the hospital used!  One of those would go through an infant's thigh!

And I had diapered other peoples kids before this so it isn't like I didn't know what I was doing.

And then, the kid grows up.

None of the parenting stuff I looked at prepared me for dealing with a Bi-polar disorder in a 9 year old.  Heck, every doctor we saw between the age of 9 and 13 assured us that Bi-polar disorders were impossible in children his age.  They were professionals with licenses and training and even they didn't get it right.

He'll be 18 next February and we are still learning new parenting strategies.

I think that for the most part people are up to the task of parenting.  I think that where it can be clearly proven that parenting was a failure there are other circumstances that come into play like, what supports were available.

When we went through sheer hell with our son we were in Newfoundland and Labrador with a support system of "0"  We got lots of offers to help sure, none really panned out.  

I have a great deal of empathy for families that reach the breaking point.  I've looked over the edge of that chasm more than once myself.  What pulled me back is probably not what makes a fit parent fit for parenting.

I like a lot of the other suggestions that seek to make parenting part of a school curriculum.  I think that as great an idea as that is more attention needs to be paid to social support systems.

Having friends present when you actually need them to be present, even if it is a phone call, is life saving.

Being alone without support is one good push away from a very painful fall.

Grace and peace to you.

John

How's this for a way-out idea:  non-permanent sterilization for 10 year olds, which is automatically undone at 20. 

Sure, there are still std's and no one is certainly grown & ready at 20. 

I'm thinking parenting classes and lifepath planning through highschool and into the early college years, and then people can do what they will.

A million holes in my plan, but I'll toss it out there for the conversation.

But how do you grade things like common sense ?

Not really. Pretty much everyone here knows I'm a systems analyst for the the largest IT company in the world.

I realize that isn't a "real" career by your standards, Jes, but it will have to do until I can get an interview for ruler of the planet.

Jes - you mentioned "common sense".

No kidding - which one of us gets to set the standard?  Which one of us is the most common-sensical, by everyone else's standards?  Which one of us would insist that we set the bar high(er), and which one of us would insist that bar should include genetic superiority... ???????

 Common Sense is the name given to the ship of fools.

I don't know how it could be enforced.  I know of a couple who had six children.  They were taken away by children's services.   So they had six more that were taken away.  The woman is only in her 30's so they could have have more.

Education could be a standard

Mental soundness could be a standard

IQ should be a standard

Of course none of this would ever happen