That's a shame, Omni.  I'm glad that the city is allowing you to use the book that is sacred for you. 

However, it sounds as though mom is more concerned about her relationship with her religion than about yours.  You are unlikely to change her mind and pointing out the hypocrisy isn't likely to help either. 

Stick to you viewpoint and hopefully she can be happy for you in the long run.  If you waffle on every decison, you will not likely do well in politics.

Best of luck!...cms

 Sounds like your mom is using guilt trips on you and it's working, since you are considering changing your mind for her and HER "shame".  

My advice would be to use manipulative tactics right back at her, use her own weapon against her.  

Tell her that the reason that you don't want to swear on the holy precious bible is because in the bible Matthew 5:37 and James 5:12 are alerting you to NOT swear on the holy precious bible.  That you are doing this out of respect to her religion and beliefs and in that you don't want to "shame" your father.  (which BTW is horrible of her to blame your dad for having the issue when clearly it is her).  

Hope it works our for you.  BTW, living away from the parents, I found, strengthens the relationship with them.  

Best of luck.

Hi Omni,

I'm sorry you are having this difficulty.  Please forgive your mother. 

You've got to remember that she held you in her arms as an infant.  And from that time she began creating her ideal world  for you (note I said her ideal world - not yours).  Obviously your conversion to Islam was not part of the ideal world she had created in her mind for you. 

She is now dealing with one of the hardest realities of life;  that her son has grown into an independent, sentient, intelligent being who has the capability and wherewithal to direct his own life outside the paramaters of her self-created idyllic world.

I remember those feelings as a Dad when my sons stepped over the threshold into manhood.  It was a traumatic, yet eventually cathartic time.

For all that, you should do what God leads you to do.  If that is to swear by the Qur'an  at a ceremony so be it.  You are that capable, sentient, intelligent, self-directed man that God has created.  Your Mom will have to deal with this fact.  Be polite.  Be loving.  But be who God is directing you to be.   Having said that, I beg you again  to try and see through her veil as you do what you must do.

May God richly bless you. 

 I can sympathise with you. My mother told me when I was a teen that she could not thinkmof anything more disgusting then seeing two men dance together. She would have had no problem if I was in the military and involved in killing another men, but to dance with one was horrible.

Indeed a challenge to face.

If I were in your place, here is what I think I would do.

For the good of the relationship with my mother, refrain from discussing the event with her.

The following quote from Stephen Colbert should calm your mother:

"...be you Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior."

You could also play the "at least I'm not an atheist" card.  Focus on the positives.

End of the day, this probably isn't the biggest decision you'll have to make in your newly chosen position.

Part of being an adult is accepting that there are now times when it may come to pass that you must disobey your parents in order to stand up for what you believe. Even so, one must always show respect, even while disagreeing, To honour your parents is to honour God.

Stand up for yourself, and your rights, as you would for your constituents. Be respectful to your mother, even in the face of abuse. Go with God.

Thank you everyone for your concern, I understand that this is just her way of dealing with this "wrench" i've thrown in her plans.  But to say she is blaming anything on dad would be false, he is in the same boat as her, except he almost never supports me, he just sits in his quiet, grumpy phase.

I want to move away so I will be able to make more own decisions without duress.  I understand that I have to sometimes stand up and say "look i'm an adult now and I have the right to make up my own mind".  I've done it a few times already.  But moreover, I want to move away because then I won't have to deal with the day-to-day rage that gets thrown out on me, ergo I will be more likely to be in a constant state of love and peace and all that with my parents.  Even children who had crappy childhoods usualy grow up to if not like, at least respect their parents.  The same thing goes for siblings who hate each other, not having to live together brings them closer together ironically enough.

I held my tongue mostly because I know I should honour my parents.  I just wish that in some small regard, they might be able to honour me back.

I will be sworn in on the Qur'an, my parent's fearmongering and ignorance be damned.

I love them as much as anyone would love their parents, but they need to learn as much as I need to learn, that I can (and will, and have) made/make my own decisions.

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

I have nothing to add, but I wanted to send positive vibes your way... 

Best of luck Omni and I am proud of you to stand by the decisions God has led you to - the courage of your convictions is an important trait that more of our politicians should hold. Bless you.

Greetings!

Omni, thinking of you as you are sworn in as an elected official - that is wonderful.  Don't let your emotions or the occasion be clouded by the fact that you and your parents (mom) are having words/disagreement about what holy book you will use.

In this occasion and within your family I wish you an abundance of

Hope, peace, joy, and love . . .

Blameshifting is as old as humanity.  Honouring one's parents doesn't mean being a doormat or permitting them to steam roller over you.  Part of the original commandment was in response to a practice in some pagan cultures of the day to take the elderly out into the wilderness to be killed of my wild beasts or exposure to the elements.  Part of the meaning of honouring your parents means that you wouldn't forsake or harm them when they become old or infirmed.  You can honour your parents while standing up for your rights.  In any relationship we need to establish limits.  Be firm with your mother by letting her know you are an individual and your decisions are none of anyone else's business.   A guilt trip is the last resort of a desperate person.

OMNI ...

Much feeling goes out to you from myself and an imperfect creation of the mysterious infinite. Did such a creative love in a pure state know what they were doing? My mother was and is the same ... doesn't learn from the infinite presentations about what creation represents ... ongoing process requires th' ought ... Theo in metaphor!

We don't know any better than our parents but we are given the gift of caring and thinking (the latter greatly discourged by authority figures, symbols?) Then go back before the Jew, Hebrew, Arab, Aramaic ... whatever to the story of Abraeham. Did this persona leave his parents to make decisions and discoveries in his journey through life? Odd thought? Then we are not supposed to think ... just follow dark, blind, roues on paper, parchment, or tablets of clay. Are they moving examples, or dead items that need to be bought to life to be useful?

We are told the infnite mystery can be discovered in many paths ... but there are people that still think they have God (infinite, unfathomable mystery) in their mortal hands. They are probably attempting to wring 'is neck like a Lam ... Wii bit of Light in old tongues. People are like that when it comes to learning experiences ... as jealous Gods we hate to see the neighbour learn something from the pane (vision) that we avoided. Life is like that convoluted string theory in which all stories need to be examined thoroughly ... do we have time, or is there another stage in the satyr? it has to make the powers (Oz eM) wonder.

Shakespeare probably had a greater grasp on truth than any recent person: "what's in a word .. everything!" We haven't even begun the journey as is hidden in the closing words of the Go Spell of J'N ... "and if all the stories of LITE were told, where would there be rheum?" Isn' that a higher firmament for dipping into for a lesson?

Raise your spirits ... it is a lesson in human frailty ... common fault in a cracked vessel ... vein-IT-ai? Such is a humbling lesson before passing on' ... to the nex-Tier? The infinite reins in humours ... Dark Ness of Plasma ... while in-bod' experience. OOB's another thing ... W/O coven ante intimate caress with bothe sides of the story ... a deuce, or is that dies, dice, that shape d's ole ... quantum chance ... like Love ... a blind idealism? We are the epitomy ... until we learn connections (James Burke)! Huge fabric ...

I'd say it may be unreasonable to expect you will be always "at peace" with your parents at this time. As DaveHenderson points out, you are at a transition point. You stepping into a truly adult role while still living under your parents' roof, which means you will, in some ways, be living as both a "child" and an "adult" at once.

I believe you made your decision to honour what is right for you, while considering the potential impact on those around you. That is what an adult does. Not everyone can be happy with every decision you make, so it is your conscience that matters. We all have to grow up sometime. Your mother may not like you flying in the face of her tradition or her beliefs, but it's not going to help anyone if she tries to blame you. If you were really making this decision to get back at her in some way, it WOULD be disrespectful and probably something you would come to regret, but it sounds like your conscience is clear.

Peace be upon you and your family (if not now, then down the road).

Omni you are, once again, showing that you are a compassionate man and I congratulate you yet again.

As others have stated this is one of those moments in life when you weigh your needs against those of someone you love.  For what it is worth, my compass in such dangerous waters has always been, what can I live with for the rest of my life for it is my face I have to look at each morning in the mirror not my loved ones.

LB

Conviction brings a silent, indefinable beauty into faces made of the commonest human clay....          Honore de Balzac

Wow. Parents are often disapointed when that little baby they dreamed would grow up to be such and such isn't quite what they expected. A human thing - we make carbon copies of ourselves and wonder why these little beings don't grow up to be just like us in personality.

Of course at the end of the day it's your decision - you're growing up, you've made your own choice towards conversion, so it should be up to you to swear on the book that's important to you. I'd say swear on your Qur'an. You're making this oath only once, and the symbolism of the bible is that you swear under God - if you don't believe in the book you're swearing on, it's like making a false promise. Your mother will forgive you - it is of course one of the greatest messages in the christian religon, so she'd be a hypocrit not to.  

Hi Omni, I just found your thread here. Yes you would be happier in your own place, and you are ready. ANd your parents will come to better respect you when they see you making it on your own, and aren't seeing you on a daily basis. They will see for themselves that you are an adult. It's very fulfilling to make it on your own.

Good for you sticking to the qur'an. I wish you good luck finding your own place.

I remember when I moved out. It wasn't an official move out. I was going on a year long back packing trip to England with my best friend. I expected my room to still be there for me when I got back. As I walked down the hallway to the plane I was very nervous and thought, "Oh my god! WHat am I doing?!" but my feet carried me on and I got on the plane. It was thoroughly exciting there on in. I met my husband three months in, and the trip was extended to two years, then we got maried and it was extended into the third year. Around then my mom dismantled my room and painted it. When I got back I had no room, but that was totaly right and natural. Hubby and I then went on to make our way in Canada.

My husband's mom also hoped that one day he would shape up and return to christianity. SHe was a bit dissapointed that I turned out not to be christian. I think she's given up hoping now.  But she appreciates me for my good points!

Best wishes Omni. You'll do great! Hug!

It was actually asked of me recently - what if my daughter became a Christian when she grows up.  Would I be disappointed?

On some level, I would be, I suppose.  I intend to tell her about faith and spirituality, and its different faces (both good and bad).  She'll have Christian friends, I'm sure, just as I did.  But if she decides at some point to embrace faith over reason, that would be a mild disappointment to me.

The interesting thing is, between what will be a secular upbringing, and an increasingly secular world, I would be more shocked than disappointed if she got herself dunked.  Omni, I wonder if your folks are still more in shock at your conversion, than anything else.  I was half-joking about the "at least you're not an atheist" bit above, but there could be some truth to that.  Lots of kids these days leave the faith of their parents, but not many switch to Islam.  That could be a bit of a kicker for them, and they may not have recovered from it yet.

Thank you all, I'm still taking most of this in.

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

My mom felt hurt that I became a pagan in my youth. SHe felt betrayed, maybe like your mom feels Omni. SHe often said to me things like your mom said to you, but with different words put in to apply to our situation. Like she'd say, "Why do you hate Christianity so much?", and "Why can't you just be normal like everybody else?" "What does that mean when you do that, can't you just not do it?" (refering to little rituals or charms and things I did.) I could see her suffering and keeping things to herself too that bothered her. SHe had the same feelings about my clothes and career choices too though.

Chansen, like you, I would be dissapointed also if my child became a christian. I would just have to accept it if it did happen, but it is quite unlikely. I'd be more and most upset if he became a soldier though, off killing and getting killed.

I'm glad that you have decided to be sworn in by using the Qur'an because that will mean that your promises will be solemn and true to you which is the way that it should be.  As someone else said above, don't let the wonder of the day be lessened by the sadness that this must have brought to you.  Parents will do this to you.  I remember how horrible it was when my mother and father through me out because I was gay but well we all ended up figuring our way through it.  Maybe our relationship will never be the same but then life events change us as the years go by.  

You have a burning Light inside you to go and do great things in the world.  Go do them Omni.  I look forward to hearing all about them. 

Are cults and religions ... differing sects?

Perhaps it would be better to be a fluid minded  ... open hearted individual in regard to the rest of creation. Some try to put God in the box as if God were not all ... infinite creation. Is this possible? Freud said that if we tried to confine or oppress emotions ... they would evolve in less aceeptable paths ... maybe frightening. Did God tell the Hebrews to keep the pair in a tent (supple fabrication) instead of a temple? Something to think about when Roman religion tried to put God in a grand stone building and restrict literacy to the general mob ... so they wouldn't know what the powers were doing to them.

Now isn't that just the devil in reflection ... pure inverted image on the other side of the Mir we like to think of as reality. There is no other to much of the paradigm because we don't believe in metaphysical things like light, emotions, darkness, and unknown thoughts. Now is that all that spooky ... unless you've got something to hide? Butyou can't tell people such stuff as they don't like critique in any form ... positive or negative ... thsu the story ... a convolutelu lie fore maqon positive things out of double negatives ... a satyr of sorts of the shadow we call mind.

Dark and cold don't exist on this side ... like chilling thoughts that physically rich and powerful hate with a passion ... not at all compassionate for the wee stuff that supports them ... Moe th; Ur ear-th. did you know ear-th is firm word in classic Hebrew? The who likes classic his tory today?

El-anor-gold:

Did you know that Gold in Hebrew is a metaphysical shimmer like a shining soul? The secret of the Hebrew is contained in Is-Lam-IC myth ... wyse m'n from the east of Je Roues Lem ... heart of theat ancient world corrupted by Roman thoughts! One should always study alternate faith systems ... you never know where hidden Light wanders like IC ... IT is a message in Christ wanderings ... Light is everywhere mingled with the dark ... mankind is the isolationsist, not knowing nothing in the whole story of double negatives. Square root of (i) contains the secret of illusive light powers ... bi-n'Eire kode! The soul needs heart to warm d' th'aughts and th'aught knots! Integral sum macein.

Thanks Chansen. Well put.

well the final confrontation happened today.  Apparently my dad would just be embarassed by my actions, but even his non-religious self thought it was imperative to swear on the bible.  I explained it would be hippocritical to do so, then my mom made some stupid reference to swearing on a dictionary.  From there it basically devolved into them explaining how I was tolerated rather than accepted.

Wonderful.

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

That...is not something you say to a son.  Sorry, it just isn't.  Especially when he is embarking upon something that should make the family proud.

You probably know that, but I thought it was worth confirming the obvious.

I concur Chansen. I'm sadened that your parents feel the need to belittle you Omni when you are so smart, kind, considderate, mature and capable a young man. That really sucks what happened Omni. You stick to your guns. I guess they have their own emotional things they are trying to protect. These arguments often happen at this point in life. It may just be a natural part of two sets of adults coming to the understanding that they need separate homes. You need suportive people around you, and there comes a time when parents cease to fulfill that role.

Well, I went through with it got sworn in, and afterwards had a little talk with the mayor about the differences between the bible and the qur'an (very little, as anything of any depth on this subject would require rediculous amounts of time, not the kind offered after a council meeting at least).

So, on the up-side, my family has not said a word on the subject now that it is over and done with, and I don't expect they will.  Also, i'm officially a councillor of the Town of Hay River (pictures will be forthcoming as soon as I can get some).

On the down side, I'm now single.

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

P.s.  thank you all my wonderfriends for supporting me in this hour of turbulance in my life.

What is important Omni is that you are entering into promises that are extremely solemn and for that you must make those promises on sacred text.  The Bible though important is not your Holy Book the Qur'an is, thus you should take your oath of office on the Qur'an.  I am so very sorry that your Mom and Dad cannot understand this and share their brillient son's day but so be it.  You have to be the adult here and stick to your guns as it would be going against the Spirit to do otherwise.  Be gentle with them though as I am sure that they love you even though they are misguided.

I am a Mom and I hope that I don't make a similiar mistake with my daughters when they are older.

Good luck, my prayers are with you.

So my post went in too late but ....

I am the first to congrat you on being sworn in and

Pooh on being single !

I am so glad that you were sworn into office in a way that has meaning for you.  But I am saddened by your change in relationship status.  With everything that has been going on, I hope that your day of success, achievement, and happiness has not been too dampened.

One must always temper joy with a sober realization of how finite life, and all it's accomplishments (in this case, a relationship) can be I suppose.

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

heh ....glad you were sworn in via a manner that seemed appropriate & meaningful to you. 

really sorry about all the other strife.

take care omni

Positive/negative critique ... a stuck physical person doesn't like either ... such might cause a stone to alter ... change course for the better. It's an awful fix ... to think life is all that is! No motive A'zion with care ... com pas Zion?

Omi:

Life is a pain ... the only place in the cos Moes where a physical bean can gain solipsism ... experience learning. Anything learned is a pane  ... vision on the infinite .. we have a long wah to go ... that's the pathe' ...

I can say only one thing: "Do the best you can in the choice you have made in life ...!"

You're obviously workin' o'nit!

Perhaps somebody will learn from wide open heart and sole ova mind ... not fixed to a wee mote in space but moe-vine. Did the real Christ stand up and say he could bring down the stones and raise something from the dirt (aches) remaining? Do we learn from stimuli? Some people just have their sympathe' ... buried wah too deep in scars. We must try to understand as love's nothing without understanding and the empire-IC holds ...understanding's nothing without love ... ain't that a deuce of a say'n? The Hebrew would call it san' ... hated outside the bachs!  Tell them all an eL ova story ... perhaps the Pan'eL of wise people you've joined can learn to humble themselves in change of thinking about what surrounds them ... demoe-crazy to authority types ... hated monster a Wahl of peoples ... Love's/Go'des creation whatever word you use to describe the indeterminate traveller in this space, time and light of situation! Is that traveil, alle' or just the work of JOB ... a crooked aiyn in one particulr tongue. Does Light travel in a straight ligne or wander in the tri ... waiting the quad rant .. devil of an ech to plasym?

Then how many know that empiric is egael-ite' in another tongue? All real truth's are hidden in the lie of fallen man ... wah outside the realm of perfect understanding and care ... in Karrie ... a hole space lite ora 'C' ... or plain lit'racy that physical isolation hates! We hate black things ... nubean symbols on a page ... thin expressions wee people with un-Eris'n soles ... ID's a foot up ... break a legacy of horror! Terror is eM ... paradigm of creation without learning ... of the fine net work of sole ...

Besides the using of this thread to beat each other into a religious and non-religious pulp...thank you all for being conerned, and helping me out.

Birth is pain, life is pain, death is pain.  Those crafty Buddhists ;)

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

I think I came out of it rather well, actually.  I credit all my judo training.

Yeah, I know.  I apologize for taking the bait in your thread.

It's ok chansen, we all get irresistable bait sometimes, and judo does often come in handy when one wishes to disarm one's opponent ;)

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

At least I have a new threat now:  "Don't make me go all Judo-Christian on yo ass!"

I thought you sounded kinda single Omni. You'll find someone else. Yes you will. Maybe a nice muslim girl! ; )

About pain, "own your pain". You have a right to it, master it and be proud.

It's true that the dissagreement you had with your parents will not get better. It may not be discussed, but it will be there. It's better to move out before things fester too much. Remember that their opinion is not the most important one, though I know that's hard to do while you're living with them.

You could start to live more independantly while still under their roof though. Get an electric kettle to make your own tea and cupa-soup, go out, cook for yourself, cook for your family too! Do you have your own tv? When the oportunity comes, take a foreign trip, Egypt? Morroco?... I think that would be a wonderful experience for you.

Congrats Omni - glad to hear Hay River didn't have an issue with the switch.  Lots of great new adventures ahead of you, Councillor!   Hopefully with time, your parents will catch up with you ... I'm guessing you're a puzzle to them in many ways, and a blessing.

Thanks guys.

@ chansen:  NO ONE would mess with a Judo-Christian!  Except maybe an I-slam-u-judo-Christian xD

@ Elanorgold:  If I can find a muslim girl as liberal as me in a town like this it will be a God send ;)  An my pain is my bitch...I learned that when I went through my emo phase like a bajillion years ago. :P

As soon as I get some money flowing in I will start looking for a place of my own, so hopefully that won't take too long...

A trip by myself would be nice...although all my friends and me want to go to like europe together...it would be amazing.  But I would like to travel the middle east too, by myself or with a friend(s).

@ carolla: yup, Hay River seems to be happy with me, and I with it. 

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

btw Elanorgold...you must have a good nose to sniff out my singleness :p

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

Chuckle chuckle Omni, You just hadn't mentioned her, and that was suspect. ; )

Yes you'll have to look outside your hometown for a muslim girl. Canada abounds with imigrant families who's lovely daughters have grown up in our modern, western society. Perhaps she is also having troubles with her parents...wanting to be more liberal. Or maybe you'll find someone who's converted, like you.

What I mean about pain is sort of like when an athlete trains, it can hurt, but it's a good kind of hurt. Not a massochistic kind of thing. A taking control of your life kind of thing. A "this is hard, but I can do it", kind of thing. "I can succeed! I will overcome! And I deserve to!" Stuff I told myself when I looked for jobs, when I had accidents and got hurt, when I got on that plane, and when I went into labour.

YES I CAN!

Courtesy of Obama

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni

Is Pane the stimulus of awareness of possibility?

Ain't that Pan in other tongues, the devil covenented by the tongues of m'n creating pure chaos ... a haze in space? Man's the one that doesn't like to know truth ... they think Ire is the non-stuff (phlogiston) that drives cause moe Logic ET-ICs. Their upstanding like the infinite tri ... Ides all a matter of mispelling in translation ... even clerics of Rome were imperfect as m'n of let Eires ... they didn't share enough! Roues of Roman sharon ... don't tell a thing ... knowledge is power! Pure crap: Shy-ite from the Roman spirit ... Mars? Ain't that a whor mon ger? Let us look for somethin har monai us within!

Hi Omni:

Just put a Bible cover over your Koran, then you'll be well covered. Nobody will look inside your "Bible," and everyone will be happy.

After all, Jesus is mentioned 35 times in the Koran as a Prophet or Apostle of God. You would not be committing a sacrilege. Many of us Christians (me included) see Jesus as the Koran describes him.

Hello Omni...........
Thank you for having the courage and fortitude to do what you have done.
Following one's convictions is often a difficult thing and I admire your integrity.
I am one of those "fundamentalist christians" ....yes ..... that is me.......
I am becoming even more fundamentalist ....perhaps finally a true fundamentalist.
God is a God of love ...... and God never ever told us to beat others over the head with our limited beliefs and oh so limited understanding.    I realized that the only ones he ever had harsh words for were the religious leaders who were imposing their rules on others.    You are indeed free to follow your own path to God and I, especially as a sincere christian, shall not ever interfere.   Indeed ....... I cheer you on!    May your life be filled with wonder and purpose and may your soul be full of goodness and love always!
Sincere Regards
Rita

I can't wait to move out.

Hehe be careful what you wish for ...

But seriously yeah it's time to make a move dude .... you have a goal now work towards it ......

Thank you RitaTG, I wish you well on your faith journey as well :)

Arminius, how goes it?  I have not heard from you in a while.   Luckily your suggestion of subterfuge was not necessary.

And Jes...yes that is a goal I have, and I damn well better be moved out by the end of my 3 year term haha.

As-salaamu alaikum

-Omni