There are a few I could do it with as a joke.  I also knew someone who used the saying 'would you be a dear and...'

lol I wanna know how this Darling came about.  Autocorrect error?

"Darling" seems way too familiar to me. Culturally, someone who says "my dear" might come from an East Coast background and the words likely mean nothing more than a greeting.

I personally don't like it when cashiers address me as "darling," "dear," or "hun." All of which I've heard. 

A friend of my granddaughter named her little girl DARLING.This can become confusing.

On my last job, I occasionally had lunch at the Pizza Hut across the street. The regular noon hour waitress was always adding "darling" or "hun" to her greetings. She was good enough (even remembered my regular order) that I let it slide but generally, I'm with you.

Mendalla

In gneral, those kinds of terms would not be appropriate from colleague to colleague.

However, there are a few exceptions:

1) It's a British tradition. One of my co-workers was very British, and he called all of his female co-workers, regardless of age, "darling." I know that some countries, like Britain and Australia, are in the habit of addressing an unknown woman as 'dear" or "darling" or 'love," and it's not meant to be presumptuous, it's just conventional and colloquial when the woman's name is not known.

Certainly some of my co-workers were uncomfortable with being called "darling," but since I'm from a British family, I knew he was just 'conventional old school" and I didn't mind it.

2) By mistake. I once had a student hand in an essay to me and he had signed it "love, Alex." I raised my eyebrows at a student signing his essay this way, but when I asked him about it, he just laughed and explained that just before he handed in his essay, he had been texting his girlfriend, and he always signed his texts to her "Love, Alex", and he must have been in that mode when he scribbled that on his essay.

So, Mendella, I'm guessing your manager is either an old-school Brit, or was just sending a personal e-mail to a loved one before sending an e-mail to you, and just happened to be in that 'darling" mode.

Some people toss around words like "dear," "darling," "love" and "honey" indiscriminantly, thus rendering them meaningless.

One of our friends, who frequently addresses people as "dear" and "darling," and has been married four times and changed casual lovers more often than that, once said to me: "You Germans are so formal! I never heard you address your wife with any term of endearment."

"Well," I replied, "we may be formal, but we are loyal. She was my first girlfriend, and we have been married and faithful to each other for 50 years."

Hi Rev. Steven Davis,

And of course in Newfoundland and Labrador it might be "my love" or even "my lover."

Grace and peace to you.

John

As a receptionist, I often have people calling me "darling", "hun", "dear", "sweetie", etc. when they're trying to get past me (the sentry) to the person to whom they acutally want to speak.  For the record - this doesn't work!  If anything, it's going to make me LESS inclined to connect you to senior manager.

That's actually good to know, swee ... uh, I mean, Hilary.

I guess the latter because she's definitely not British. I like that thought about being in "darling mode", though you have to be careful. If you're in the habit of putting provocative or flirty signatures on messages to your special someone and you get into "darling mode", embarrassment could result .

Mendalla

Geez, you're a stuffy, uptight lot!

In Oz, "You old bastard". is a form of endearment........

Seriously, if it's spoken with affection, what's the harm?

Oh, I've called friends some interesting things over the years, PP. But to a co-worker that you've only known for three months and have only met face-to-face twice?

Mendalla

Is your manager from the UK?

(of course, you are a darling, right?)

(and what do you mean by appropriate?  is something wrong going to happen by that usage?  what, are, maybe, people going to start, err, hugging each other, maybe forgiving each other for the..err...christmas party hijinks?  is love and affection really that bad in your workplace?  might have to stamp that out before it gets out of hand)

A world traveller had heard of a holy man in a remote village in India, and decided to look him up. He found the village, and asked a boy about the Holy Man. "Yes, we have a Holy Man," said the boy. "You can see him, but he won't speak to you. But when he calls you 'mothafucka,' this means he likes you."

Different strokes for different folks, eh?

Yes these terms of endearment are sometimes a cultural thing.

I find it condescending when someone I'm not familiar with or don't like use them with me.  I feel like they are treating me like a little girl to belittle me.

In a formal workplace I think these terms are out of place. So are hugs and kisses - even close friends should tone it down at work!  The 'culture card' doesn't excuse everything, especially if the behavior makes others uncomfortable. 

I do remember bus conductors, waitresses etc tossing words like this around like confetti in the UK.  Dear, hun, honey, sweetie, luv, darling were heard all the time. Most Brit immigrants quickly learn to not say them - same as they learn not to use the UK word for an eraser!

It was in an email, Pilgrim, which makes it difficult to read the intention.

Here in the East, it would be common in conversation, but uncommon in emails, and not so common from mamager to employee.

one of my favourite darlings

Poor dim Captian Darling

It's a personal thing as well as cultural for me - with all the really horrific things that go on in this wide world of ours I'm gobsmacked by the inane things that folks take offence at.

Like your first name.....

Does it really matter  if I'm called Chris (my preference), Christine, Chrissy, dear, darling, ducky, by others?

So many social conventions just give folks an excuse to feel hurt/anger/morally superior.

Mind you, I do have my boundaries......

If any co-worker, regardless of the time I knew them, was to attempt to give me a tongue kiss by way of greeting ...... there would be "words" in the tea-room.

I like it when British people say 'luv' or 'luvie' (spelled it with a u because it sounds more like that). It's kind, not insulting, to me. I know it's just a friendly expression. I don't like "Hun" or "Honey" so much. Darling- can't remember when someone called me that. My husband and I rarely use pet names, we're just not the types- maybe just "cutesy" versions or tones with our real names - lol. Neither of us have mothers who used terms of endearment. I was never "dear" or "darling" growing up, so I never got used to saying it to anyone close to me- let alone someone I don't know well. Dear, is what elder women my grandmother's peers (and sometimes elerly men) call me. I don't take offense to any of it. No big deal. Although, "babe" was always grating on the ears. For awhile it was a hipster term of endearment. I suppose, depending on how it's said, "hun" can bug me. Sometimes women say it condescendingly, IMO. My grandma was someone who it sounded friendly coming from. Sometimes it sounds not nice though.

Mendalla,

To me it sounds like she's an extrovert who would say that to everyone. It's her 'thing', maybe? I have a friend who calls everyone 'sweetheart'

It can, PP. My real name is David. In school, when I was taunted and bullied, "Davy" or "Davy Wavy" were used in a lot of taunts. Thus, use of those diminutive forms of my name to refer to myself will generally get people the Evil Eye from me and even "Dave" gets frowned upon.

Mendalla

I think this is the thing. It strikes me as just fine in casual conversation with someone you know, but rather unprofessional in a work environment. To be clear, this is not my manager we're talking about (the boss would never write like that), but a manager of a branch office. I'm a department manager myself so it is really colleague to colleague rather than manager to employee.

Mendalla

To me it is more the intent of the term, rather than the word.

If someone calls me a "pet" name out of caring, concern, or because of their loving nature, I am fine.  If it is condescending or because they can't remember my name, then it's not appreciated.

For me it depends on the person and the intent.

I don't remember, ever in my working career, anyone calling me anything other than my name.

Mendalla,

It isn't the use of the diminutive that's the problem - it was the associating of it with bullying behaviour. (Ergo, the bullying was the problem - which ties in with Beloved's comment about intent.)

I smiled when you said your name was David.

It also happens to be the name of my brother, who, like you, insists on being called David these days.

(Trouble is, we grew up together and he was always Dave then!)

We've called a truce - I try and remember to call him David, just so long as he never calls me Christine. I was only called Christine as a kid, when I was in trouble.

These days being called Christine doesn't bother me - I'm too big to be sent to my room in disgrace.

My older brother's name is David. As his baby sister, I wasn't able to pronouce "David" correctly, so he was "Deebut" for a time. 

I've have a nickname that some people at work call me that is only marginally connected to my name - it comes from the first letter of my last name. It's a funny name, and I have no problems with people calling me by it.  A couple of my co-workers have nicknames too. They only stick if the person has indicated that they are okay with it. 

I did have a few that called my by my nickname, which is a shortened form of my real name.