Through the eyes of a child:
>
>    /*_The Children's Bible in a Nutshell_*/
>
>    In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing
>    but God, darkness, and some gas.  The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God
>    is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
>
>    Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
>
>    Then God made the world.
>
>    He split the Adam and made Eve.  Adam and Eve were naked, but they
>    weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't beeninvented yet..
>
>    Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were
>    driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in
>    though, because they didn't have cars.
>
>    Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he
>    was Abel.
>
>    Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah,
>    who lived to be like a million or something.
>
>    One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but
>    one of his kids was kind of a Ham.  Noah built a large boat and put
>    his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to
>    join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
>
>     After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Jacob was more famous
>    than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob hisbirthmark in
>    exchange for some pot roast.  Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore
>    a reall y loud sports coat.
>
>    Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton
>    Heston.  Moses led the Israel Lights out of  Egypt a ND away from
>    the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people.
>    These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
>
>
>     God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.  Then he gave
>    them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat,
>    smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.
>
>    Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
>
>    One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to
>    use spies.  Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell
>    over on the town.
>
>    After Joshua came David.  He got to be king by killing a giant with
>    a slingshot.  He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and
>    500 porcupines.  My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound
>    very wise to me.
>
>    After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.  One of
>    these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up
>    on the shore.
>
>    There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't
>    have to worry about them.
>
>    After the Old Testament came the New Testament.  Jesus is the star
>    of The New.  He was born  in  Bethlehem  in a barn.  (I wish I had
>    been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me,
>    'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say,
>    'As a matter of fact, I was.')
>
>    During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the
>    Pharisees and the Democrats.
>
>    Jesus also had twelve opossums.
>
>    The worst one was Judas Asparagus.  Judas was so evil that
>    they named a terrible vegetable after him.
>
>    Jesus was a great man.  He healed many leopards and even preached to
>    some Germans on the Mount.
>
>    But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial
>    before Pontius the Pilot.  Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus.  He just
>    washed his hands instead.
>
>    Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.  He
>    went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of theAluminum.  His
>    return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
>
>    /-------You must share this delightful story! --------/
>
>
> I hope you need a smile, laugh or chortle today!> <>
>