the sender or creator of the email won't listen anyway. they have already made up their mind enough to send this email.  Best just delete it and keep up your emotional boundary and not let it bug you.

I learned this  because I have had to do that with my mother in law and some of the judgemental things she cooks up. 

I disagree. I think that homophobia is evil and should be confronted from whatever quarter.

You never know who is listening. What if it's your gay child or grandchild, or a reader here on WC who trusted you to support them, who discovers that you read those evil hurtful words and didn't respond?

People change, or at least they learn to shut up. I have personally worn several people down on the subject. I don't really know or care what anyone is thinking. As long as they keep quiet, they're not hurting any more kids.

A suggested response.

"Received your e-mail with considerable dismay. I strongly disapprove of your position on this subject, and would be willing to have as many lengthy, fact- and theology-based discussions with you, at your convenience, that it takes to convince you that your opinions on your LGBTQ neighbours are both ignorant and immoral. In the meantime, please select the recipients of your quasi-religious spam a bit more carefully. I remain cheerfully welcoming of non-malicious jokes, snopes-verified virus warnings and funny pictures, particularly of cats, as you know."

Delete it and/or report it if you don't agree with it.

I agree with what Bette - tell the person that you don't wish to receive those emails and why you don't wish to receive them. Do so in a way that is polite, but firm.

i respond, always.

I ask them if they are aware of what it says, and then, spend time refuting.

SInce most often when I recieve such a thing it is from an addreess I do not recognize and a person I do not know there is nothing to do but delete it.

One of the "rewards" of being clergy is that you get all sorts of those things.  FOr teh last 2 years I was in Atikokan I continually got spam from a couple of American PACs either complaining about the scourge of secularism and pluralism in the US Armed Forces, or the move to "take away our guns" or Birther nonsense.  I have no doubt I got on their list because somewhere my name and e-mail got atached to the fact I was clergy and so I would "obviously" agree with them.  Luckily when I moved that e-mail address died.

I was receiving some of these posts from someone I knew.  I pointed out to him that we disagreed on this matter. I asked him to stop sending them to me.

It worked.

Ok, the following is just my opinion...

I always reply. I do not simply hit reply to the sender. If there is a bunch of addresses, they all get it.

The reason is made up my own feelings. If someone is gay among that list, saying "no thanks" offers them a port in a storm. It offers that they are not alone, the world does not all hate them and that not all religious types think they are evil.

One might not think it matters much when it is a bunch of people with names you do not recognize, but if it was your own child, would you want them to think you read and/or agree with this? What might a child feel or do thinking they are hated by those they love most? How does it feel to be a parent and know someone you know feels this way about your child? Each name is a someone.

We bury too many GLBTQ peoples because they feel everyone feels this way and nobody says anything. I will always say something.

What does it feel like to see a list of tons of names of people who hate you or that someone thinks will agree with them about hating you? How would it feel to see a name you know on the address list and think they agree? Ever think about it? Have you contemplated how it appears to them that you receive this stuff? That they might think you agree?
 

Have you contemplated why the person who emailed might think you agree in the first place?

Personally, I feel the same if it is racial or religious. I do not want anyone to feel I support this or agree. I don't really care if I know the people on their email list or not. I may not know them today, what if I meet them tomorrow?

I, again personally, would not use weighted words like "nonsense" or "hatred" or "ignorant", especially if I wanted to maintain a relationship with the emailer. Yes, I have relationships with those who disagree on religious grounds with homosexuality or homosexual acts. I have relationships with those who disagree on abortion and contraception, too. There are however healthy and concrete boundaries. I also, in the email make note of the fact that I am sending it to everyone as an FYI and so that no person mistakenly thinks I align/subscribe/support.... whatever it is.

In my case, my standard opening is, "as a LGBTQ Christian. I do not share your stance, so could you please refrain from sending..."  (I almost always say that I understand that they are likely including everyone in their address book because it is simple with one click, but it is also only one click to remove me from that box).

It might be, "although we share the same (skin clour/racial identity/cultural grouping/religion/locale/political party....) we do not share the same thoughts on this issue. As a matter of respect and personal consideration, might you excuse me from your emails that are in this vein?"

If they want discussion, confrontation or to heap abuse... I know I will get it. I am completely open to one,  less so another and will not subject myself to abuse.

If they get uber-nasty, (no matter who they are) then I know who they are and I believe them when they tell me.

In the case of repeat offenders, I remind them privately. If there comes a time when I do not believe they keep forgetting, then I would likely invite them to remove me from their email address book so they cannot forget (has not happened)

Excellent points SG.  I've been trying to think of what to say to this person and you gave me some good ideas.  I think she assumes that because I go to church faithfully that I am a Christian in the same way she is.  This is one reason I prefer to call myself a follower of Jesus. 

I don't actually open those type of e-mails. Or any e-mail from any address I don't recognize for that matter.  I just delete, empty the online trash bin and move on. To do otherwise is to court all kinds of nasty computer bugs.

When I get emails I don't want I delete them.  Some come from unknown addresses.  The ones from acquaintances with unappreciated rants I also delete.  Eventually they tend to get the message.

Every so often I get both racist and homophobic emails forwarded to me which I delete.

I don't call the sender out on them because I'm a coward and don't handle conflict well.

But, I make a mental note who the emails are from.

The next time I see them I make sure I bring the subject of  homophobia, racism, emigration and religion up somewhere in the conversation.

I make the point that fear can have a negative influence on our life - particularly fear of difference.

I usually start off with something innocuous, like "Do you remember when the first Italians and Greeks came here how we all complained how they reeked of garlic? Now we're all eating it and can't smell anything."

I then add, "It's the same with religion, racism, homophobia -it's the difference that frightens us. If you make an effort to get to know the other on a personal level it will go a long way to dispelling the fear."

Maybe I'm justifying myself - but I'm not in favour of "calling people out".

Shaming and blaming to my mind is unproductive in producing change.

Perhaps it's also because there is always a little part of me that acknowledges that there have been times when fear and ignorance have played their part in me acting inappropriately at times.........

PilgrimsProgress,

I have learned that you can have personal boundaries without "calling people out" or what I would call confrontation. It took me years because, I too, avoided confrontation at all costs. It was at great cost to me, so I learned to say "thanks, but no thanks".

Like I said, I would never say racist, homophobic, sexist... the words are loaded. For me, they are as loaded as the n word or queer. They invite escalation and that is not what I am aiming for. I am also not always focused on education or creating change in another. That is theirs. For me, it can be simply a boundary issue and the goal is then cessation.

Let's say someone sent me an anti-gay email. Then it could be-

"As an openly gay person could I be excluded from emails of this type?"

I am also not afraid of naming my own emotions and saying "this was painful".

If someone sent me a ha ha ha isn't domestic violence or rape funny email I would also not say "you are a huge ass" or "you vile pig". I would say "I personally do not find this funny, please do not send".

No shame or guilt heaping, just the facts... ___ is not for me, that's all.