I agree with you Shadow. I feel that people earn my respect. That doesn't mean I wont be polite to them, but politeness does not equal respect.

There are levels of respect. Most of them are earned, but that doesn't mean that they necessarily have to earn them from you.

There is a minimum level of respect that is due to all people, by virtue of them being a member of the human race.

There is a further level of respect that is given to person, by virtue of them not having harmed you. That is not something they need to earn from you, but it something they can lose.

There is a level of respect due to people by virtue of hard work, and dedication. My doctor has my respect because she has earned it. This is the same with my teachers and charity volunteers, etc. They havn't earned the respect from me, nor do they need to. They have earned it from the society that I am a part of.

There is a level of respect given to people wjho hold positions of authority. These people have been chosen by society to hold a greater measure of responsibility to their fellow people thaan others. The respect goes with the office. They don't need to earn my respect, they have earned it from society.

There is a level of respect due to family. This respect is due especially to your parents, from whom you have life. That fact that I can write this to you is a direct result of my parents, and for that they have my respect. They don't nbeed to earn it from me, they already have the moment I was born. Any good they may may have done since then is just gravy. it is possible for them to lose my respect legitimately, but only in extraordinary circumstances. Not letting me go out on saturday night, or forbidding me to smoke underrage is not in any way extraordinary. Unfortunatly too many teenagers think that normal parental control is grounds for disrespect. They usually find out the truth only after it's too late.

Friends earn your respect.

Do you see, out of all the examples of respect I've given you, only one is respect people have to earn from you. All are required for you to function in society.

The lesson here?

Respect is not something most people have to earn from you. Respect is something you owe from the day you are born until the day you die. The only person who loses as a result of lack of respect... is you.

oooh! Very interestin post Witch! ( I feel kinda bad calling you that but it IS your username...)

See this is what I wanted to hear. The opinion of a parent. And in case your wondering, I'm not one of those kids who doesn't get on well with my mom just because she doesn't let me go out. And I don't smoke so their's no problem there either.

So if i'm reading things correctly, the more responsibility that is being put on that person the more I should respect them?

Also, from a mom's point of view, this probably sounds like a whiney teenager situation doesn't it. lol (I won't take offence if you say it is, because it is probably true. I just want to see if there are adults who agree with me.)

I tend to treat all people with respect from the get go. IMO, everyone deserves my respect unless they do something to lose my respect. There have been people in my life who have lost my respect for a variety of reasons. But with that being said, once losing my respect, they can gain some of it back in some cases, but this is rare and I find it very difficult to do.

See your like the opposit of me when it comes to respect, Namaste. I won't give it out easily, but once you've got it, you've got it for life. Unless you do something really stupid.

Hello shadow.......God bless you.......

I believe shadow you should respect both your mother and your father......yes she did bring you into the world.....she fed you ...got up in the middle of the night for months...change your diapers...kept you clean...fed you well.....it is a huge responsibility to help grow a child...how many times did she save your life...when you were trying to eat something you werent supposed too...always gave up that last piece of pie or last cookie cause you wanted it...took you to school..helped you with your homework.....did your mother do all of these things for you shadow..?

Why do you respect your dad and not your mom....that is puzzeling....they have to be partners in order to raise a child and she worked just as hard as your dad..did she not....

You do not realize what you have untill it is gone.....if she would leave you tomorrow for the next world how would you feel......??

IJL:bg

I feel that respect is a given unless proven otherwise.  I agree with Witch (and have no reservations about using the name).  And I expect to be given respect in return until such time that I am not worthy of it...cms

I'm probably like Namaste, i give respect right when I meet a person but it is really easy to lose it. I might give more respect to someone than another.... sO when I first meet someone its more like politeness and then I see If I like the person or not and if I don't I stay polite without respecting and if I like that person I respect... But I'm not giving you the opinion of an adult which you wanted to get, as you know, I'm younger than you so yeah... Anyways, I don't get well with my mother too not that I dislike her but she gets on my nerve... Her and her education. If something bothers me she'l tell me "Forget about it. You have to focus on school" She gets mad at me really easily and the blame is all on me even though its not so much my fault so I think I know how you feel... 

So I really am the only person who thinks people need to earn their stripes. XD Ah well. Thanks for the info guys! And more is welcome as always ^-^

Shadow,

I hope you know that your opinion is very valued. It's interesting how you see it. I like that fact that we see it a bit differently. I guess respect is a bit like trust. Some people trust people easily, for others it's something that has to be earned. Curious - do you see trust the same way you see respect? something that has to be earned?

sd - I have never met you before.  Should I automatically disrespect you because I don't know you.  I truly believe that you would want me to respect you even if I am meeting you for the first time.  I believe that we are all inherently valuable and need to be respected...cms

BTW, bygraceiam, I respect my father more than my mother probably because he's more like me. Teen remember? I don't make sence. XD But I know for a fact my mother didn't get up at night, nore did she save my life. That was dad that did that. And when I was sick I always went to my dad. Maybe that's why? I really couldn't tell you myself.

Hi Shadow...I think we often confuse our treatment and value of others as something they do or don't deserve.  If we truly have respect for ourselves and expect dignity and grace from ourselves...it doesn't really matter if the receiver deserves it or not. 

It matters that we understand that there are a million reasons why they are who they are...most of them are hidden.   If we give this understanding we will also accept it for ourselves. 

The minute we stop judging others...we give ourselves a break from self-judgement. 

Well said, Penny...cms

Ditto to what cjms said. Very nice response Penny.

lol so thats whats been up with me! And it's true, that was very well said.

To me every human being deserves the respect of civility.  Politeness is a certian level of respect.  To treat someone civily is to say 'you are a human, with thoughts and feelings and I can respect you for that'. 

Then there are people's opinions that I respect.  I respect my mechanic's opinion about my car, because he knows much more about my car than I do.  Unless my mechanic had a former career as a vet, I would not respect his diagnosis of my sick cat.  I would welcome his suggestion, but I would still take my cat to the vet.  I respect my mother's and husband's opinion surrounding myself because they know me better than anyone else.

As far as authority figures, I do not have the same opinion as witch.  They are, and should be, held to a higher standard and therefore can lose my respect much more easily.  When it comes to dealing with authority, I respect my rights.  As long as they respect my rights also, then they have my respect.

In relationships of all kinds integrity is what earns my respect.  I would much rather deal with an asshole, who knows and admits that he/she is an asshole than someone who comes off all sweet and sugary but is an ass at heart, at least I know where I stand.  I would say that everyone I meet starts off with a certian level of respect and then it can go up or down from there.

What everyone's saying makes sense to me in a way but I still see respect as something that is earned. In response to:

I don't see it as respect Vs disrepect. I see it more as equal VS respected. Until I know if I respect a person I guess I see them as equal to everyone else. So if I've never met you CMS I'd treat you as politely as I would anyone else but as I said before politeness doesn't equal respect.

I think you may be confusing equality with respect.

I have great respect for a lot of people who are my peers.