I try to cut back on my expectations. hard isn't it BusyMom.

OK, I know I haven't posted much lately, but I really could use some help please.  I'm bumping this up again.

Greetings!

Time-savers:

If you are cleaning - as in washing walls - get one of those mops that has a swivel head with removable pads that can be washed - cuts washing time down immensely.

Short-Cuts:

Don't do something you don't like to do if you don't have to.  I don't like to bake.  I don't do any Christmas baking.  I buy chocolates for sweets and other store bought goodies.

Presents:

Make a list and go out and spend a few hours focusing only on your list.  I've seen people pick a "theme" item and everyone gets something in the theme but to suit their individual tastes (example - sweaters, mitts, clocks, games, etc.)  As soon as you buy something, wrap it!  Make a list if you think you won't remember what you bought, in case you are needing to make a change.

De-Stressers:

Get as much done on your "have to do's" list in the next couple of weeks so the last week is just doing last minute items.

A hot warm bath!

Hope, peace, joy, love ...

Washing walls this time of year? I barely have time to wash myself. Besides, nobody eats off the walls, or the floors either for that matter. I say, to heck with a mop of any kind ....

Oh, rule # 2, under short-cuts, says I can skip it... since we skip things we don't like and  I HATE CLEANING!!!!

I made a list and focused on it for hours. I still got nothing done, guess I have to do more than just stare at it for hours.

Theme items? Oooh this may be good... ever seen gay party planners?... we love a good theme.....Let's see....I have to start with the wife since she is almost the only person I buy gifts for... the wife wants a sexy nightie, the boss gets, oh dear... my wondercafe secret Santa person, hmmm, this may very well work.... my mother-in-law gets... oh crap.... My mother-in-law in a garter belt and fishnets? My eyes are burning!!!! My eyes are burning!!!!

No theme gifts!

I tried that "as soon as you buy something, wrap it"... the cashier was so rude about me laying on the floor with my ribbons and bows and tissue paper and tape and wrapping paper. People could have stepped around me....

Beloved, I am telling the wife it was your idea when I break out the "have to do" list and I am getting as much done in the next few weeks as humanly possible....

<SG runs off giggling>

Greetings!

No, no, no, StevieG . . . the theme has to be very general - such as "pyjamas" (although even "pyjamas" would have been too personal for the boss) - then you could get the wife the sexy little nightie, and the mother-in-law the flannel nightgown.  Perhaps you could get the boss a night cap .

Oops . . . INSERT between "something, . . . wrap" - "take it home" . . . buy something, take it home, then wrap it (off course take off outer clothing such as jackets, boots, etc. because otherwise you will have to do the floor before you wrap !

Don't get me in trouble with your spouse, I get in enough trouble with my own .

Stop running and giggling StevieG, physical exercise can wait, get to the more important items on the to do list!

Hope, peace, joy, love . . .

stevie g = coal *lol*

hey busymom, i too find it so easy to get overwhelmed this time of year.  i generally start things early (late october) by makeing a list of who i have to buy for and ideas (i use an excel sheet).  i set up another column for my purchases and amount spent.  once the person is checked off my list i highlight it in red (ordered) or green (gift arrived), since i do all my shopping online.  malls put me in a REALLY BAD mood.  the sheet also helps me keep on budget.

the kids are allowed only 1 gift from santa, 1 gift from mommy and daddy and 1 gift for each other.  the gifts are about quality/sentiment instead of quantity.  we also have eliminated buying for adults (except our parents)  and i still by for my brother since he doesn't have children and my grandmother who i usually buy a bag full of goodies (organic chocolate, organic english muffins, organic jams and jellies, and mincemeat pies).  we also always order in --- chinese food has been a tradition for well over 25 years now.

if you're into online shopping i would be more than happy to add gift ideas.  if you specify age and interest, i could really narrow things down.

as for the kids doctor, we always make a contribution to doctors without borders on her behalf with a thank you for all her hard work throughout the year and how blessed we are to have access to such a wonderful doctor and health care.  i also get her and her secretary a bottle of organic wine.

as for holiday baking.  the kids and i bake goodies throughout the season and all the recipes are simple.  we buy a premade gingerbread house and decorate it.  we also avoid the mall santa and visit the bradley museum for a visit with him and partake in music, crafts and history --- admission = donations to the foodbank.  i also preplan my meals a week at a time so i know exactly what we're having when.  it's a habit i started a few years back and it saves me so much stress and time, especially at this time of year.  for get togethers i offer to make an appetizer, crab dip usually because i can make it ahead of time and it's soooo easy and good (martha stewart) and i offer to bring a dessert, which is usually voortmans holiday wreath cookies (put on a pretty holiday platter and offer as a hostess gift), which are really nostalgic for me and a yule log, since the kids love it ---- no effort at all.

we'll be kicking off the season with our footprints of christmas tomorrow night to relive the birth of christ (see the thread i started).  it sets such a lovely tone for the season and helps us, especially the kids, remember what this time of year is really all about.

throw in the towel and admit there is no way to get everything done.  pick the most important things and accomplish those.  forgo gifts for each other and hire a cleaning service to take care of the house a couple of days before entertaining.  they have one time visits charged per hour.  there is no greater gift than less stress and time, for the both of you.

good luck and keep us posted.  and might i also suggest a tall peppermint mocha from starbucks and a nice warm bath with bathbombs from lush (ordered online - delivery is free over $75.00)

Don't clean.  Just put out more decorations , that covers the dust.  ANd then with all those decorations out you can't clean.  Perfect Catch 22

Keep it simple.  When cooking make double and freeze one half  of whatever you are eating.  Then in the really busy week of the 17th onward , just thaw.

give kids the same age the same gift.  Perhaps all the cousins, a version of the same sweat shirt or one of a series of movies that they can then swap ( everyone gets a musical say)

Don't send cards, time consuming

Dont' feel a need to have a big party.

Invite friends in for a pot luck dinner.  You make, say a baked ham and they bring everything else.

Do all the decorating on one really full day and then never again.

Shop for food before the 23rd so the lines aren't long

Plan all the meals for the 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th and post the list on the fridge.  Then everyone knows both what is for dinner/lunch and what to do to help.     Buy all the food ahead of time.  SO when the friend/relative/hubby/child asks what for dinner you can look at the list and say.  "..... you can help by peeling the potatoes...."

great point about the holiday cards.  this year i am emailing a holiday ecard from kraftcanada.ca, since for every email address it gets sent to, kraft donates $2.00 to end hunger.

for me, these "cards" are worth the time.

I must say that about now I am feeling totally inadequate. I need the hot bath....

Starting in October? I do not have my wife's gift bought and I cannot say I have any idea what my wife is even getting...

An Excel sheet for a gift list? I balance my chequebook on the back of an envelope! A gift list? That rates like a gorcery list and gets a leftover napkin from a fastfood joint. Hey, not used....

Pre-planning meals? Oh dear....

For me, I am more Dickens than Puritan about Christmas... I think of the spirit and I think revelry, fun, family, goodwill.... That to me is the spirit, which is by the way not commercialism. It is the spirit that I wish could last all year. To me it is not about gifts, it is not about money... it is about laughter and about bonding... it is about love and joy come to you and to you your wassail too... Who drinks wassail?

The wife and I love malls at Christmas time.We make trips, generally without any shopping to be done, just to look at the decorations and see kids on Santa's lap and to people watch and yes we make up dialogue. "That old man smells like booze"... "I think the wife will love thisdrill"... "If he buys me one thing for the house, that is it!"...

My wife and I love Christmas and it means baking, watching specific shows from our youth, entertaining, listening to music, staring at the twinkling tree, eating food that is comforting or brings back childhood memories.... to me, it can be all that and be about Jesus. He would drink wassail and laugh and just love The Chipmunks' singing Christmas songs....

The main thing to experience at Christmas is lots of laughter.

SteveG, if I just happen to be your secret Santa partner, there's no need to send me a gift - your post was hilarious. (although a sexy nightie might bring back a few happy memories!)

Busymom, Don't stress about the gifts - just buy them. It's a well-known fact that it's difficult to buy ourselves something we really like, so what chance have we got of pleasing others? Besides, it's the thought that counts. Your family and friends will love you long after the gift has been discarded.

Hi busymom. I don't have any tips or tricks but I could use some too. I share your feeling of being overwhelmed. I offered to cook Christmas dinner at my house this year. Its the first year we've lived in a big enough place to host everyone. Silly me I thought that with a wee baby it would be easier to be in the comfort of our own home. Just thinking about everything that needs to get done has my head spinning. what on earth was I thinking???

Funny Funny So glad you are back Stevie.

Thanks everyone!  Just reading through your posts has helped me tremendously.  Great suggestions, and thoughts I hadn't considered.

Stevie G....Bless you!   You made me giggle, which is something I haven't been able to do lately.  I'm still laughing. 

I just might get through this season afterall.

The reality is this......

I haven't started.  Nothing.  No cards, no gifts, no decorations, no cleaning.  Nothing.  OK, yes a couple of small gifts purchased, but nothing significant.

We got a new bed a month ago, and the old mattress is still in the living room waiting to be shipped out.  The decaying jack-o-lanterns are still on the front porch.  Hallowe'en candy wrappers are still strewn under beds.  (I said I'd never let the kids take candy to bed....ha!!!)That's how bad it is.

Your posts have helped to give me some direction (other than sexy pjs as busydad would never let me get any work done then!).

Well if it makes you feel any better, I haven't started yet either. I have no idea what I'm going to buy anyone and my friends will be lucky if they receive Christmas cards from me before the new year!

One time-saving tip just for you: bake 2 pumpkin pies at Thanksgiving. Enjoy one scrumptious pie then and freeze the other one for Christmas. I know it'll be hard to restrain yourself and not eat both at Thanksgiving, but if you can manage to tuck one aside, it will save you lots of time at Christmas.

(My attempt to give you a much needed giggle).

Busymom,

The trick is to wear sexy pjs so you don't have to do housework.

Our house is a mess, but we are both smiling. You have no clean clothes... oh well.... Who needs to make a bed....

Then again, we know some folks who would rather clean ... that I will NEVER understand. The wife calls me "one track" with a glint in her eyes for a reason.

Based on the description of busymom's house I have just realized she may well be one of  the only wondercafers I can ever invite to visit. I would just move some laundry off a chair and it would be fine.....

There are some really good ideas here.  I will remember the theme idea for next year.  It will stop any fussing from my partner's brother and sister.  MUch wealthier than we are who  are both really into being wealthier than and like to hate anything we do for our kids because they can do less with more money - electronics up the pipick and we can't ever compete with that, we can't even get one nintendo and besides my mother would scream at us for a day . . . that day will come eventually . . . but not soon enough for my kids who are resigned to being at the bottom of the cool stuff list . . . houses, bedrooms, electronic toys/.  We may get enough $ to put together a good used 3/4 violin for the oldest and we may get some money for a couple of snowboarding exursions, ( yes, there goes a laptop or a nintendo, but I think we will go with the music and family memories thing - the only fun thing that I really saw with Nintendo is the guitar hero and it's limited compared to taking piano and violin; all the rest of the games we can do manually.  I will explain this to the kids and we will get a laptop in the near future. 

Guilt anyone?????? oh it just gets harder.  You know, we had 2 kdis because we didn't want the kids to be so alone with their grief and questions when we die.  It's a good insight, I feel, but Christmas and our incapability to answer the real estate needs of our west coast community just makes me feel that we should have only one child to satisfy the materialist demands on our kids' egos and the invitations they get to feel less of themselves because they have less.

Not sure what I have to offer.  I haven't started shopping.  The tree is up, but the mess around it is not 'decorative'.  The outdoor lights are in a heap at the bottom of the stairs.  I have some details in place for work stuff (at a church of course!) but have purchased nothing other than a piece of a gift for my MIL that I purchased along with  her birthday presesnt last month.

Here is my suggestion:

no cards - just tack a Merry Christmas on your emails out. 

Clean what needs cleaning - your kids are old enough to help in exchange for a hot chocolate games night. 

Have them help make a list of 10 things you want to do together:  drive around to see lights, visit a family friend, visit a special Christmas event, school pageant etc.  Do one event per night after the tidying &  homework are done.

Make the list - online is great, Ten thousand Villages is meaningful and do a day of gift buying (leave the kids somehwere safe lol) I get the kids to help wrap everyone else's presents, but I never wrap our family's stuff until after they're in bed Christmas Eve.  I put on Christmas Jazz or something, crack open a bottle of wine, or cider or something, and putter until I'm done.  

All our family gifts get sorted into bags - 1 for regular gifts, one for stockings.  Easy to grab & wrap on the 24th.

Food - I dont' bake much - I don't find that it adds much to the holiday other than work and cleaning, and it gets pricey too.  (I like baking the rest of the year).  Pots of chili and stuff that can be doubled makes tons of sense to me. 

I've had times with very little money and energy - being home with Christmas music on, hot chocolate or cider, popcorn to munch and friends, or just us - perfect.

OH! - and find time to help do something nice - buy some mittens for a mitten tree, food for the food bank -its easy to drop things off in lots of places

OH!  And read the Christmas Story - even for  yourself - that helps lots too.

here's a link with a great video that helps with the overwhelmingness....  Maybe someone can post it right in here for us...

http://www.adventconspiracy.org/

And Mackenzie!!! Call your mom!! Ask her to do Christmas!!!  What might work well if she's close by - have them over in the morning for brunch, then bid them farewell for the afternoon, use the time to make something for the table, and then head over for supper...  much easier.

Good thinking, lastpointe!  I like your style  .

Your suggestions have been great and you've brought a smile to my face.  Thanks for that.  Still nothing much has been accomplished, but I've started making lists.  It's a start....

Lists are good.  Don't forget to add stuff to them you already finished so you can scratch it off.  That's very helpful for not getting anywhere and feeling ok about it. 

Great idea Birthstone:

• laundry
• facebook
• vacuum
• scramble game
• dusting
• talk on phone
• sweep floor
• wondercafe
• wrap presents
• watch TV

Oh busy mom-we could have you over for a visit

let's see

halloween wrappers still in odd places check

halowwen pumkin inside but by fron y door check

3 laundry baskets of laundry waiting to be folded and put away check

front walk needs shovelled -yep!

Stress-actually pretty good right now- I've done my secret santa gifts and am part way thru others. It will get done and it's ok if they arrive the 27th or whenever.

I reallize that we can't do EVERYTHING each Year

So pick your favourites and do them.

Some years we put together a gingerbread house-not every year

some year real tree-sometimes the artifical one

one year cookie exchange-this year cookies from premade dough and a few real ones

Oh yes-the other sercet to a happy Christmas-delegate-don't try to do it all!

and I always buy myself a special present at Christmas-Santa leaves it by my stocking for me!

The answer to your question is to consume gluttonous amounts of egg nog and pumpkin pie. It's pretty much my diet from December 1 to the end of January.

Ha ha!  Maybe if I ate the pumpkin pie I'd be too SICK to do anything else.  lol

So now I know that I'd feel comfortable in Tabitha & Stevie G's homes.  Good to know!

ok, you can come over to mine too, busymom.

one thing to do is to make one room "relatively" clean.  (each person has their own standards -- mine are much lower than my siblings.).   Kids rooms are off limits. 

You have 3 kids -- and are busy & active..breathe.

my stresses are around the white gift service and my parents 65th wedding anniversary and some fool who decided we could do a major build /install on the week of dec 14th which has me travelling that week -- argh!

what did i do?  I must admit Black Friday has worked for me.  I made a mental list, and powershopped that day, with help from my sister, niece  and son, who were also shopping.

our family has also gone to 1  up-to $15 dollar gift which goes into the centre & is then "stolen" from each other.  (we still buy for the little ones) It can  be a joke gift for example -- that reduced much of the stresses.  I now don't have to fret about what to give mom/dad, nor do they stress aobut me...and i am not buying gifts from  them for my kids.  Not sure what your family does, but you may wish to suggest it.

I found out after slicing my thumb open one christmas day, that people can help & like to help...so I am planning on my mom & sister assisting with christmas supper.  Though it is a formal meal, each person brings something -- mom (brussel sprouts), sister (potatoes), sister-in-law (dessert), etc.

anyhow, if it wasn't for my goofiness re planning for christmas service stuff, i would bbe fine...not sure how the ministers do it!

well.... (and I'm not the one who has to do the sermons) ... I've done tons of Christmas stuff so far.  None of it for my house, except we got the tree up.  Seriously.   I'll  make a list of present ideas today. 

good point, birthstone....

ps....because sometimes we get wierd on terms around here...i mean those people, whether lay, diaconal or ordained, who are busy putting together programs that people count on ...and are doing it for more than just one event...that includes ministry of music folks, and youth workers and those who preach and those who do pastoral care ;.  Each of you carries excess loads this time of year, and I hope you are trying to find balance, so that you too can enjoy the joy of the season.,

Busymom ...I have found the biggest de-stressor when the big day finally arrives is to use make ahead recipes.....even potatoes, and although some people will be appalled at this idea... cook the turkey on the 24th and make lots of gravy. That way you can carve the bird and clean up the mess. You can then serve it cold with hot gravy or heat it if you like. I make potatoes the day before then just pop them in the oven to heat before dinner. I also have a turnip recipe that can be made ahead. Set the table and go to bed knowing the meal is ready. This way you have time to enjoy your day and your company!!!

The nicest most relaxing Christmas ever was the year my parents came for brunch and presents, and then went home.  My kids got quiet time and played with their new stuff, and then my parents and my aunt and...??  came back for supper.  We cooked all afternoon while the kids played, and when we had supper, it was just that - no presents or chaos or craziness - just eating, and chatting while cleaning up.  It wasn't a big crowd - I guess that helps, and maybe my mom missed having my siblings there, but for our family, it was perfect.  We saw cousins the night before and a few days later.

Sounds like some of you grew up as I did with a mom who started cleaning for Christmas in October.  I'm talking wood floors stripped, waxed and polished, walls washed, linens pressed, cakes and cookies baked and a list of obligations as long as your arm to fulfill. 

Makes one grumpy and diminishes the joy.

No wonder I want to run away!

ninjafaery,

Christmas saw my mom's mania in full regalia. She would vacuum under your bed while you were in it sleeping, even if it meant moving it. I can honestly say I recall times, mostly at holidays, she went at our elbows and knees with Comet cleanser and an SOS pad "because company is coming!" LOL

I created  aChristmas where knees and elbows don't matter and people can move the clothes on the chair and have a seat.... put your feet up on the coffeetable...

I hate the whole cleaning house thing so I concentrate on Bathroom and Kitchen.

sg, that makes me sad.

NF, I also remember that for my Mom, though, cleaning has & continues to be a priority in her life.  Ask her if she can come over for dinner, "well, i will be cleaning and will be tired", or "want to go shopping ?" - "no, i need to do laundry on sat"..  Now, I have come to realize sometimes those are just excuses she has learned to use, but, I also realize that she likes her patterns an the house being clean.  (Kinda odd, considering your & my combined relationship with that house....was it the house or the era?)

I also know that I loved the feel of a clean bedroom, clean sheets, a house that sparkles, homemade cookies, homemade custom-fit clothes,

I still do. 

  I just am not willing to give up life to get it.

Yup Pinga -- same house.  It had wood floors everywhere except the kitchen, front hallway and bathroom.  She used to get down on her hands and knees and use varsol and steel wool to strip the floors, and then apply paste wax the same way.  After that, she used an electric floor polisher.  Those smells, and the mothballs stay with me. 

It was nice and special though, having everything sparkle like that, but she made herself sick doing it.   She usually got a migraine on Christmas day. 

SG -- my mother was preoccupied with 'what others might think" -- very much concerned with respectablility, since my dad was a very public alchoholic. 

Did you know that there are some catering companies that will cook and deliver an entire turkey for ya ?

For a few extra bucks some places will do all the trimmings too but it will cost most

Some of the local supermarkets like Loblaws and Dominion used to do this im not sure if they still do

You can still pass it off as your own no one has to know .

NF, when my little sister was little, and after mom had done that same wax treatment, we would put my little sister on a blanket and pull her up & down the hallway

It shone those floors like nothing else

That's funny!

My brother and I used to take advantage of the slipperiness too -- sliding in our socks up and down the hall.  We also would sit on the floor in our pj's and spin around on our bums. 

it sounds like it's that generation.  my mom used to be a cleaning spazz, especially if company was coming.  she's chilled alot as she's gotten older.  she still keeps a pretty clean home, but now tidies instead of full on spring cleaning every week.  it's nice that she now cherishes and refuses to clean the kids handprints off the glass instead of freaking out over it.

I remember the floors well

I like to have the house clean for Christmas, but it's going to have to be a relative clean this year -- too busy.  After trying to convince myself that drifts of white dog hair are actually festive, I've booked les pooches for a bath and blow-dry this week, which means I will have less fuzz to keep up with.  I've divided the house into zones and have outlined the necessities in each zone so I'm not tempted to bite off more than I can chew.

I have some gifts to buy for my children, but I know what I'm getting for my hubby, so that's a 15 minute task.  Mostly we give donations in the name of the adult relatives, and that can be done online.  Last year it was beekeeping business kits in Africa, this year it will be mosquito nets.  If we were more flush, it'd be goats. 

Christmas baking will be when I can fit the odd batch in.  We made gingerbread last night, which was fun.

I remember spinning on my butt on our wood floor from one end of my bed to the other. That was my prefered method of getting a perfect tuck on my sheets ( Mom was really nuts about straight sheets and blankets) and getting a huge splinter in my butt, probably about 5 inches long and at the  non-pointy end  - an inch thick.  I let up a real wail and there was blood dripping when I pulled it out.  I believe I was wearing some light weight cotton p.j.'s

So, when you people talk about  sliding on the floors and winging little sisters in blankets it makes my skin crawl. 

New, clean house nut story.  We were not allowed to open our presents until we had vaccuumed the main floor,washed dried and put away breakfast dishes and cleaned the main bathroom ( even if it was all clean the day before).  I guess it was a stand in for not having days and weeks of sex in bed while telling off people in the office and instead having to fight being the second sex  while attempting to raise  a bunch of mangy kids.

I just found this thread again, and this post made me laugh out loud.  YES!!!  My mom did and does it all.  My dad is sick, so Monday I stopped by their house to pick up their laundry (because Monday IS Laundry day!) and realized that their laundry is used to special attention.  My mom irons underwear and socks!!!  So, there I was Monday evening ironing every item of their laundry and folding it with great care, and then shoving ours in drawers.  My theory is that if you grab it fast enough from the dryer you don't need to iron!

Thank you for that!  I'm laughing like I haven't laughed all week!

We used to pretend we were pairs figure skaters.  You should've seen our double lutzes!

Thanks for your responses.  I have soooo enjoyed this. 

The suggestion of passing off store-bought food is tempting as well.  Seems to me I'll be taking more short-cuts than ever this Christmas.

Thanks for the good advice, and especially thanks for a much needed giggle.

Consider these shortcuts our Christmas present to you!  If someone complains about store-bought goodies, you can say, "my wondercafe friends gave them to me!!"

Good to 'hear' you laughing, friend!!