Let the singing begin!

For convenience, you may post your c.v. here in an electronic, shortened, format.  Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

And don't forget, please direct your questions for Maestro to me, and I will forward them on (as in previous years).

Oh yes, my new title is Executive Production Assistant, since we cannot afford a Producer's salary ;)

Dear Executive Production Assistant,

I would like to apply to sing alto in the highly acclaimed wonderchoir. In addition to singing alto in the chorus, I would also like to apply for the position of technical assistant, lime wedge cutting division. Please see the attached CV. I believe I have the skills, background and experience that the maestro is looking for. I eagerly await a reply with my audition time.

Sincerely,

myst

Curriculum Vitae

myst

Personal Information:

It’s too personal to share

Education:

Yes

Experience:

Yes, experienced in so many ways.

Oh but for the purpose of this application:

2007-2009 member with outstanding standing, wondercafe choir

2007-2009 member organizing alto sexual, I mean sectional, rehearsals regularly at the pub

2007-2009 member having the most exuberant encouragement of cowbell use, wondercafe choir

Skills:

Rounding up altos for the pub

Showing a propensity for inclusion allowing non-altos to join in the festivities at the pub

Sucking up to maestro when absolutely necessary

Lime wedge cutter extraordinaire

Awards:

First place: 2007 National Cowbell Jamboree

Honorable Mention:  2008 Citrus Singers, Improv Choral Festival

Dishonorable Mention: 2009 Alto Pub Crawl International

References:

Available upon request

mi-mi-mi-mi-mi (clear throat) I am in. Let's see, I can sing a torchy jazz number, or some kind of folk song. I have a deep, resonant alto voice. I am allergic to high notes.   

I hereby apply for a position as an animal wrangler/trainer.

I have extensive experience training wild animals in captivity (not nice) plus some very ferocious animals in the wild. 

References available on request.

gosh, I'm too nervous to even request an audition.  This is far more official than I can handle.  Let me compose (hehe) myself, and I will return.

Well, as I gather my information together, I do know that I have nifty under pants for a fairy.

Over the years I've been involved in a number of choral ensembles, ranging in quality from near-professional to groups whose repertoire ranged from "Fill My Cup Lord" to "Mansion Over the Hilltop".  These experiences have helped to create a versitility that has to be heard to be truly appreciated.  And maybe  bit of an attitude, too.

WHERE'S MY LIMO???

This is very good.

I see that people have provided information so that the audition panel will be prepared.

Please note that this will be a blind audition.

I forgot about that.  Hopefully, this encourages even more people to apply.

Lime wedge cutting is a very important job, Myst.  Espcially because my hands are not what they used to be, although I am still considering the organist position *smirk*.

Please provide a sample of wedges cut with various techniques.

Myst, This will be one of the lime wedge cutting tests.

Gecko, note that you may have to wrangle  a redheaded kitty  wearing the 2010 version of Punkin's anti-fruit protection helmet (check for proper name - where is Punkins when I need her!?!)

This is most likely how I will look once the concert has started and my dealings with Maestro are over.  I will have a DCwL in one hand, a box of white wine in the other, and a big bowl of lime wedges ready for lobbing  at the wrap party...:)

Photo courtesy of LBMuskoka, see "Welcome Back Redhead page"

Red, currently the drivers are booked for other reasons, including transportation of animals, instruments, the Maestro...and, well, other reasons...

*fumbles while searching for better administration terms that provide no information while delivered in an authoritative, informative manner - book, "Production for Dummies" is too cumbersome to hold; note to self: start watching re-runs of The Office*

In addition to singing, CH may indeed have a spot to fill in wardrobe.  Speaking of which, must find out ohow the choir robes are doing...probably have to write a grant to get new ones!  I wonder if they have ever been dry-cleaned???
 

Northwind, we always have someone whose unique interpretations are "jazzy" ;)

Hilary, it will be just fine ... just remember to breathe!

Well, I have a handy chain saw here that should do the trick - hopefully the cat won't be too distressed while I saw away ..... I hope I pass the test. I also hope the cat survives the test. 

Time to warm up...

*clears throat* Mememe mememe uuuuuu"

That should be good enough. I'll be auditioning for the roles of alto and chief percussion instrument hitter (if such a person should be needed).

Experience: Lots - and some of it is even musical.

Personal Information: SWF looking for... oh wait - that's not what you were looking for was it???

Skills: Rescuing spiders from sure death at the hands of others.

Photo: I believe you'll find that at left.

I look forward to practice!

I hereby submit my application for the position of cat rescuer.

okay, a chainsaw is definitely a tool; I was thinking more along the lines of a fine Ginsu knife or perhaps one of those wooden handled steak knives that accidentally gets thrown into the dishwasher and then becomes one of those washed out utensils that is not placed at the guest's setting...

somegal, you have a unique spider rescue skill that may be useful in that persoal add you started...didn't Alex try this recently, btw? 

P3, you could work with Gecko!

Gecko, I bet you have one whale of a reference *Groan, hangs head in shame after that punny attempt*

Okay.  This will call for some interdisciplinary (animal wrangler and cat rescuer) co-operation, but I'm sure we can make it work. 

I was told that because of my expertise with the maestro-controlling potion I would not have to audition ever again.  Is that being rescinded?  Because of so I will have to file a grievance with the union.

What would that potion be, GordW?  Red wine, perhaps?

redhead, would you please define "unique interpretations".

Here's my photo:

It was sunny so I am squinty.......I clean up pretty well!

I do have a question. If we take road trips, will you ensure that everyone is on the bus? I was recently left behind on a bus trip and I would be very traumatized if I got left behind on future trips. What will you do to ensure that everyone is present?

I would suggest the everyone's-hand-on-the-rope technique.

That is probably a very good technique! The average choir is rather hard to corral.........somewhat like herding cats on occasion. A rope or other tangible something-or-other is probably in order!

Perhaps we need a second wrangler position...and I know how hard it is to corral a choral ensemble, esp. those .....jazzy singers define their interpretations as unique, n'est ce pas Northwind?

Red, I think that rope may come in handy - we'll see what the Gecko can do with it.

GodW, you are welcome to join me anytime when dealing with the Maestro.  Perhpas we can also use the potion fo ourselves - does it taste good wiwth a squeeze of llime? ;)  (that is a smily face with a squirt of lime in its eye, btw)

P3, I hope the potion is white wine.  Les chance of headache.  But with Tylenol, Advil and who knows what else I have in my meds list, I think I can help anyone deal with anykind of ache :)  This might be good to know for those altos...

Wow, "GodW" .......I was with him this weekend.......I was in the presence of God!!! Who knew?   

The above is my vast collection of didgeridoos.

It is with sincere regret that I have to withdraw my international solo act.

I'm reliably informed by a tribal elder that if I was to play one of these instruments I would be rendered infertile. i.e. playing of didgeridoo is men's business.

Okay, I know I'm 63 and you'd think this would no longer be an "issue". (bad pun)

But I remember seeing on t.v. that a woman in her 60's gave birth in India - so who knows what the future holds??

do you dijjerrie, PP?

I know I did not spell that properly; my software basically froze up nd I am typing this note - LOL!

Are you expecting to be paid seperately for this?  If so, I will have to consult with Maestro because I know we did not budget for this expense.  However, she most likely will think it is cool.  Note to self: forgot to budget for cowbells...I think Penny was responsible for those...mmm...

ord, please forgive thhe ypo - fingers not sooo god tonight :)

And puh-leeze no grievances yet...this will be a long season, and I am certain their will be enuff red-tape to get thru without that kind of grief :)

India - I thought it was Italy!  I hear that 60 is the new 40, but really! 

*tangent alert*

For ten months, I had the privilege of knowing an older woman named Gretta here at rehab.  She was in her late 70s, with complex illness that include the onset of dimensia.  Of late, she wandered the hall at all hours (she rarely slept), and for some reason she thought she was an OB/GYN on call, delivering babies.  Now, you recall the mix of ppl her, PP, but for those who do not know, the average age of a patient here is probably about 55.  Anyway, Gretta  always knew I was her friend, and one day, very early in the morning she came over to me and exclaimed, "Can you believe it - my new roommate?  IVF!  IVF at the age of 93!?!  What the hell is she thinking?"  

It took a few seconds to register, and all I could do was laugh.  Gretta had just been in the room where a nurse was talking about the roommate's IV fluids. 
 

redhead,

In keeping with the Christmas spirit, I'll not require that my considerable expenses be met.

I was thinking of offering my services as a driver - but remembered that you Canucks drive on the wrong side of the road.

No, wait a minute, it's still doable.  I'll drive the alto's home after their practice (pub crawl).

Chances are by then they won't know they're on the wrong side of the road - and I think I might be able to get Northwind to reach a high note after all.

Ha Ha, red - I'm right back there!

Is your friend, who's a couple of weeks younger than me, still there with you?

p.s. I think you're right - it might have been Italy. (Damn these senior's moments!)

No. very :(

What a pity for you. He was such good company.

Makes it even more important that you're back online - pour me a glass of that white wine in a box and we'll empty it together.

Guess I missed the tryouts.  I was too busy packing my house.  Well, there's always next year.   I'll be an interested listener instead.

Lalalala...cough!   Oooops... *note to self* more training of the voice.

Deb, 

Since the auditions close on midnight  WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER, 2010, you can still try out for the choir!!!

The deadline is something like Platform 9 and 3/4 in the Harry Potter books. 

Ok, thanks, but be warned...my voice is very low and I could probably sing with the tenors and even the basses!   Even in our church choir, I am placed in with the men!  Very low voice!!

Just put me in back....I'll be heard and not seen - stage fright and all that stuff.

Maybe the choir could board the bus at Platform 9 and 3/4???

OK - my team is ready and willing, and with paradox3's help we should be able to round up any of those wild and unruly choir members.  The rope may be very useful.  The team is experienced with gentle and not-so-gentle nudges to get humans to behave.

Hey redhead, love the whale pun! 

PP - looking forward to hearing you play the didgeridoo.....

That MIGHT do it...........  

I am a very experienced soloist .remember my beautiful solo last year .I feel that I should automtically be reinstated into this years choir. If only because I play a really mean guitar and look phenomenal in pink, 

BTW Redhead here is your extra large DC with imported lime. 

I only join choirs so that I can share my pretty face - NOT my pretty voice.

I hereby submit my audition request for a (high visibility) position in the alto section.  I considered joining the tenors, but altos have more fun.  If my bid to join the altos is not accepted, I hereby submit my audition request to lurk with the tenors.

I am also available as an understudy to any/all soloists.  (You rotters better not get sick!)

Impressive....nice tonsils!

*runs in, posts amended audition date:

WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 22, 2010.

LOBS SOME LIMES AND RUNS OUT, AS MOVING OUT OF REHAB MAY BE ACTIVATED BY OTHER POWERS THAN ME...ARGH!!!*

ATTN:  GOD, I MEAN,GORDW:  please help with auditions!!!

omg, i need some prayers right now...

Gecko, I am really impressed, also always pleased to receive bribes in form of DCwL... thx Music :)

PP, we will have to audition you for which song...

and Hilary,  thx for the cv!!!

seriously, gotta run... 

LOL redhead. It is so awesome you are back here.......you are livening up the place!

Gecko,

As mentioned, I won't be playing the didgeridoo this year - as I've been advised that it will render me infertile. (Sure enough, I didn't fall pregnant last year)

For a former teacher, your lack of comprehension concerned me.

Then the truth hit me - the picture did indeed tell a story!

Gecko, in her dolphin enforcer mode, is slipping the dolphins and HERSELF performance enhancing drugs. It's off to recovery for you, possum - luckily there's still a few months left to the choir performance. 

I am not being respected, imho.

Pilgrim, I did indeed read about the "infertility" issue but thought you might be persuaded to perform anyway.

As for the performance-enhancing drugs....maybe that's why the dolphins give me curious looks when I leap higher than they do.....ooooh my head, I am so confused...someone here was talking about fairy's under pants.....

Yeah - AND she worries that she's not getting enough respect???

Ch, have you thought of increasing the medication?