After all these years I expect to have learned something about friendship, something that would put an end to this unnecessary doubt.

I have a small measure of blind faith that I follow every now and then. It is the hope that, maybe, I will someday find something worthwhile at the end of the road. That maybe not all my efforts were in vain.

True friends remain until the end. This invisible bond somehow keeps them together, even in times of uncertainty.

I actually thought this year was going to be one of my best. No, I knew it was going to be. It's funny how wrong a person can be once he or she starts assuming things.

As this year ends, I think back to what went wrong. Was it all really my fault? Or does fate indeed work in mysterious ways? Somehow I doubt this has anything to do with me being left behind like that.

I suppose I need to write a new Blog. My feelings need space, remember?

Anyway. I do not care if anyone reads this, it'll just make me feel better writing it.

I have not been the same since the email my friend sent me. The truth is that I should have know, that one day something will happen, and I will have no way to make things better.

I know that my friend deserves to search for the happiness that has long eluded him. He deserves every bit of it.

And the Tree of Life burst from my chest

     Longing to touch the world around

        Tearing through the soil of my flesh

   My heart hung like a fruit in harvest

         And although it was not yet mature

       I offered it to your request

          In desperation I water it with tears

Thank you Breaking Benjamin. Or maybe I should be thanking my Sister? It doesn't matter, since I have now realized that which has eluded me.

I love the concept of that movie that's coming out this September - Surrogates.

"How do you save humanity when the only thing that's real is you?"

As I grow up, I find that concepts which have seemed not so complicated through my eyes, have now become something of a struggle.

As a child, I never thought that I would be scarred with depression later on. But now, somehow, I have come to accept the limitations that this state of mind inflicts upon me. The truth is that some days I simply struggle to keep on living. When it first started, I had no idea how to conquer my weakness. Now I pick myself up from the hole in which I fell, and move on, aware of the fact that I have a choice.

This website is great at explaining the ideas and ideals that I believe in. Anyone who has an open mind and willingness to learn should check it out. If not, see it anyway - it might make you re-think your role in Society.

TheZeitgeistMovement.com

I think of how much I have changed for the past 3 years. I have grown as an Individual who has Ideals and Morality.

I look back at my life before those 3 years, and I wonder, did I really exist before that? It is interesting how growth in Understanding and Mindfulness changes your entire being until you no longer remember who you were before that. I guess it is because before that, everything was fake. It was all an Illusion.

 When you believe in something, any sort of justification is unnecessary. The beauty of human nature is that you can get inspired by many things. Inspiration is not something you can explain in words.

And so is belief. Belief is something personal. There is no need to impose a belief upon others, especially since it cannot be explained.

If for some reason a person's belief turns out to be wrong, it is that person's duty to find out by him or her self. No one else has the knowledge or the right to try and prove a person otherwise.