Hello Mindy.......God bless you.....

It is difficult as it is to have a long distance relationship...where are you and how far away is he ..if you dont mind me asking...have you two been together in the same place or has it just been long distance dating....

You are doing the right things I believe in asking him where it is he stands at this point...asking and telling the truth is the best you can do...and hope you get it back..it can be frustrating when you love someone and they are withholding ..and pulling away and then coming back again...it does get confusing...I would just enjoy one day at a time...when you are out somewhere enjoy everyone you are with...and be happy one day at a time...I find in relationships the other person expects us to read their minds...this is difficult..I hope you will take it one day at a time and wont let  him take your peace and happiness away....always leave your life open to enjoy new things and new people...this can be hard sometimes but no one has the right to take away our happiness....love him while you are with him and be happy the rest of the time....thats what I would do....

IJL: bygraceiam.....

mindyb32:

I have been right where you are.  After meeting and living together in Scotland, my boyfriend and I were separated by an ocean for nearly three years.  The longest stretch we went without seeing each other was six months.  It was horrible.

It's strange, I look back on it now and think it wasn't that bad, but when I read old emails and remember old conversations, I remember how incredibly difficult it was.  I was frustrated to no end because I didn't feel like he was trying very hard to come over here.  He still had to finish off schooling, and it took him longer than he thought. 

We still have sort of a long distance relationship - he only comes out on weekends from his apartment.  I didn't see him last weekend, and it felt like a lifetime.  I have no idea how I lasted three years.  One thing I did discover in the long-distance relationship, though, was that it was almost easier to do the long time spans.  I could sort of shut of the part of me that wanted him near me, and was simply content with everything but him in my life.  As if I pressed pause.  This also meant that I didn't call him every day or anything like that.  I didn't write to him every day.  I talked to him very rarely, and emailed only a bit more frequently.  For me, it was easier to simply ignore the fact that he wasn't there and continue on with my life.  I knew that I loved him, and that we'd be together eventually... but until then, I refused to be a mooning girl.

I wonder if he's doing something similar with you.  Maybe it's too painful for him to continue being the model boyfriend from so far away.  All I can say is talk to him - frankly.  And remember that things hurt more when you can't see them or be with them.  Long distance relationships are tough, tough things, but if you survive them, you can be unbreakable.

Maybe what makes the relationship work for him is the fact that it is long distance and myspacey?  A lot of guys are so weird about commitment that in one moment they want to get be as close as possible and in the next minute, they don't want the accountability of such closeness.  I dunno.  I used to be so independent now I'm really co-dependent lol 

i've been dating my bf for almost 3 yrs now and he's the same with me still.  sometimes he's all talk with, "i wish you were here.  i miss you...you're my dream girl...blah blah blah"...then next thing, he'll go on a wk w.out talking to me.  we're not exactly long distance, but our conflicting schedule makes it nearly impossible to see each other.  even some of my friends...and my own brother doesn't think we're really in a relationship...simply because we barely spend time together.

he's back in school, and is a full=time supervisor.  time is his enemy...so i just deal with it.  your situation is a bit different though.  you guys are apart and it is super hard.  atleast he's being honest with his feelings.

girl, heads up though.  try to take his words with a grain of salt.  realistically speaking, can you really trust this guy?  i mean, have you two met?  how often do you see each other?  i'm just being an advocate here. 

Hi. thank you for responding. yes, Jake and I have been together twice now, its been pretty good when we are together, we did fight a couple times but I do think that is due to the fact that techincally we both live alone and then all of a sudden there is someone there with you all the time you know? I plan to visit him in April on his turf, he's been up here twice. we had a falling out after his last trip up here and I was pretty certain all hope was lost for us, but somehow, theres something still keeping us together. I don't know what it is or if we are really meant to be, I think we met for a reason, there were signs around me meeting someone from North Carolina (long story) lol, but I doubted them completely, but here we are. I wish I knew all the right words to explain it all to you. I just can't help but constantly wonder if this is fate doing its thing, we have our plans laid out as to our future and we are waiting patiently right now, for example, he is expecting to get laid of work within the next 6 months, our plan is for him to move up here and for us to be together as a "trial" (we've talked about the money thing, so not worry he will provide and income no worries, I will not support some man lol) to see how we go, I think its a great idea really, but as it turns out the lay off could very well be within the next month and a half...do you see what i mean by our path opening up a little more..I don't know maybe I'm babbling right now, but I seriously do think there is something greater at work for us or else we still wouldn't be here. something keeps telling me to hang on a little longer and it'll all be okay...does this make sense?