so there is the guy who is like... obsessed with my friend, and he was planning on asking her out at our grade nine farewell. To avoid dating him she was going to say I was dating her, because he knew she was a bisexual. but eventaully he found out that no matter how hard he tried, she wouldn't date him, so he's not even going to bother. So then I was talking to her about it, wondering if it was still okay if I asked her out, regardless of whether I'm no longer a decoy.

I have to just let all this flow. if it doesn't make sense then its fine, I may be the only to truly understand it and like I said before wondercafe is the only place I can go to blog that no one knows me or can pass judgement on what I have to say. its just who I am and who I am is disappearing. I know my relationship isn't all that healthy, but it could be. its not physically abusive or anything like that but I am starting to feel like I am being somewhat controlled and somewhat lead in directions I don't know if I want to be in.

Why is trust such a huge issue. As we know, I am in a long distance relationship with someone and he lives in North Carolina. I have spent time with him twice and will admit that I do really love him. He got me through a lot of tough stuff and I can't ever thank him enough for that. He is my hero no matter what happens between us. I don't usually base my life around a man. I like having one, I like relationships and most of the things that go with it, but i also don't like the drama and the nonsense that can come along with it either.

I am new to this site and I am here because I have to vent somewhere that some people aren't. I can't blog on my myspace because my boyfriend is on there and really I don't need to add more feul to the fire.