WEll off hand I'd say he needs to grow some balls.

This guy is 25? And he has to sneak out of his parent's house to see you? Does he get grounded if he gets caught /facepalm? When I was 25 I had grown up enough to not require my parents permission, and I certainly didn't need to sneak out of the house (no I wasn't actually living at my parent's home, but you get the picture).

 Personallyh if I were you I'd tell him to look you up in a few years after he's all grown up... if ever

It sounds like there are multiple issues in play here. It honestly doesn't look promising. Even if religious differences were the only thing, it would be difficult. I think on something as important as faith it's best to be on the same page, and doubly so when kids are involved. You have that, plus his emotionally abusive family, his unwillingness to stand up to his family, and some rather extreme geography coming between you. I wish you well but you're looking at an extremely challenging path.

So much I would like to know about this situation.  For instance, what does your boyfriend do for a living?  Why is he living at home?  Is it to help his parents?  If so, why do they need his help?  If it is because he has never grown up and moved out on his own, perhaps this is what he needs to do now - not with another person but ON HIS OWN until he knows what he wants.

Right now you are moving to Hawaii to go to school.  I would think it is a perfect time for the two of you to take a break - you concentrate on your studies and enjoy life in a whole different part of the world - he decide where he wants to go with his life and why he lets his family have so much influence.

While religious differences might be something that you will have to work through at some point, that doesn't seem to be your immediate problem right now.

Hi Meow...from what you've shared, I would expect that boyfriend will settle back into the comfortable role in his family.  If he doesn't want to change this role when you are not present, you are going to take the blame if he changes the role when you are.  Enjoy Hawaii, you need the break!

I would say that religion is not the issue but may be used as a weapon.  The issue is a power struggle within your bf's family.  As you gain new experiences on your travels, you may no longer wish to be part of that struggle.  Enjoy your new adventure!...cms

I read you to say that you are a student and that you live with this man.  At 25 I assume he is not a student. 

You are in love and happy except for his family.

but then you have elected to further your education in Hawaii ( 1 year or more?)

He was surprised by this decision it appears and left you, however temporarily.

My thoughts.

something is not right in your relationship when you are talking marriage and kids and yet decide without discussion to live in Hawaii.  How could this not have come up and been discussed endlessly before you decided?  If it had, then he wouldn't have freaked out and moved out.

His family doesn't like you.  Perhaps it is religiously based or perhaps not.  Perhaps you haven't been nice to them.  Perhaps they don't believe that living together is a good idea.  Perhaps they don't like that you are a student and he is not.  Perhaps they don't like that he is working and somehow supporting you.

Women always think it odd that in a breakup guys head back home to their parents.  But where else did you expect him to go after you dropped the bombshell that you have decided, without his input, to move to Hawaii?  A hotel?  Why would he spend the money to do that when his old room is free?

So then I picture my son, coming home to me, distrat that his live in girlfriend  who he says he loves, has decided to move away.  I see my son torn up about it, crying, mad, frustrated.  It certainly doesn't make me like this girlfriend at all.  She has hurt my son!

Your comments about him sneaking out of the house, are based on what?  Your observation of him crawling out a window?  Or based on your dislike of his family.

Witch says he needs to grow a couple and perhaps he does.  Perhaps he is being swayed by family.

Or perhaps the family is right to try to help him leave you and get over you, seeing as you are about to leave anyway.

It's a shame religion gets in the way. I've found myself in the same situation but with politics - his family is very conservative, and i am a socialist. Over time , I learned not to say anything, and as long as political issues aren't brought up, his family and i get along great and have developed a very healthy relationship.

Perhaps you need to fight fire with fire - stand up for yourself and remind her you are more than your faith, and mother has no right to judge you so harshly. Jesus' golden rule was Judge Not - he accepted the "scum" of society, to show that everyone deserves to be loved no matter what. Remind her of her own faith, and ask her to respect yours.

The family might be afraid you will turn HIM against his faith.

And you might want to just walk away. Sometimes, it's just better to have loved and lost, than to be hated forever.

Could this be an April Fool's post?

Why does the opening  post sound familiar?

Hi Meow... There are others here at the Cafe who are more experienced/qualified in advising on specific relationships.

However, I would like to speak to the question you asked in the subject of this thread, "Will an agnostic and christian relationship work?" What I can share with you is this... sometimes it apparantly can. For example, my brother is an agnostic, and his wife is a Christian (in the United Church of Canada). They have been happily married for about ten years now. He supports her going to church, she doesn't nag him to go to church but expresses her happiness when he sometimes does so. It all seems to have worked out pretty well.

The bible if you want a reference says the unbelieving spouse is sanctified (JUSTIFIED) by the beliving spouse. My wife's aunt is a three times a week church going christian, Husband is not, does not follow in same beliefs. Maybe not for those before getting married, but I could be in this spot because I became a christian, met my wife in church and felt this to be the right thing to do and married. My wife still believes in a child-like faith ( don't mean that critically) its just that she accepts it without question or wonder of anything else religious/faith based. I don't want to think that I am an agnostic now but I have seriously started debating what I believe and reading material that challenges it also. I started reading two books by John shelby spong called "Jsus for the non religious and why christianity must change or die."

Informative books and analyze the tenets of christiantiy as to be taken litterally. Read them if you want to be an open minded christian.