Here I thought the sign that you were a Christian fundamentalist is that you believe that the guy who drives the nicest car to church on Sunday morning is the best Christian.

Not sure what the second post was all about.  However, I disagree that mainline churches believe that they are the "only" true church.  Obviously it is true about the Catholic Church and many Evangelical churches.  I'd be hard pressed to believe that this is the United Church's position.  Further, the Anglican Church and Lutheran Church are in "full communion" (ie. they see each other as equally valid).  Further, most mainstream protestant churches have many ecumenical ties.

I'd challenge you to find a statement, canon or otherwise in which any mainstream, protestant church holds itself out as "the one true church".

10- Believe what you want.

9- Nope. I don't feel dehuminzed when people say that I'm a product of evolution. I disagree though.  I believe in evolution to a degree anyhow.

8- Christianity is not a polytheistic religion, despite attempts to prove otherwise. One God, three manifestations. Not 3 gods.

7- Sure I do. But as I am only a finite creation and believe in a God that is totally sovereign and infinite, it's best for me not to question.

6- There was no sexual union between the Holy Spirit and Marry.

5- 4.5 billion years sounds about right. I'm an old Earth creationist.

4- Well you got me there. I do believe that. But I also believe that God's justice is perfect, so, there could be one or two surprises.

3- Ad hominem abuseive attack not withstanding, I believe that speaking in tounges is the least of the spiritual gifts.

2- I prefer not to think of God as a cosmic vending machine.

1- Who knows. There is more to being a Christian that just having head knowledge. But I'm willing to bet that my relationship with the God of the universe is pretty solid. God doesn't look at your brain. He judges the heart.

So. Did I pass your little test? There was no rubric so I would like to know how I did.

I do read and study mostly from the King James version of the Bible. Is that worth bonus marks? I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour. That should be at least a few extra marks.

Top 10 Signs your Not a good Pagan

10. Your drum and chant ends with "Hey! Macarena!"

9. You find your animal totem in the other world, and
it pees on your leg.

8. Your psychic visions are interrupted by
commercials.

7. You're making a medicine wheel when someone comes
up and starts yelling, "That's my steering wheel!"

6. Bored with the sweat lodge, you ask the guy beside
you to pull Your finger.

5. You're asked to put out the sacred fire in your
apartment.

4. You put on the wolf skin and begin chanting, and
then you hear a growling sound in your ear.

3. Your spirit guide did ten years in the state
penitentiary, wants To know where the action is.

2. You believe you're using an ancient  mind-expanding
herb, then your Wife asks where her birth control
pills are.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE NOT A VERY GOOD PAGAN
1. You thought Soul Retrieval was a James Brown song

To what degree?

Cringe.  Wince.

A heart pumps blood.  Does that mean that only athletes will get into your fantasy heaven?

Said like a well trained parrot.

friendly  ghost:

So sorry but I couldn't read your long post. I'm often guilty myself of the same offence tho. I did see the word eternal. The word got mistranslated in scripture so our understanding of it is skewed. 

I did see perish and torment so I assume this is the mantra or meditation you are giving us for this day? Its very positive.

Have a nice day!

I finished the meditation! Since my future's not looking very bright I think I'll do the macarena with Witch............teasing you.....

1) It's a micro vs macro thing. I'm still working it out, with the help of some very good friends.

2) You may cringe, but as I believe God is God and I am not, He can do what he pleases with His creation. Who am I to question God Almighty, whom i believe created the universe, and me.

3) God looks at the intentions and condition of a persons heart, in a spiritual sense, not a physical one. You were a Christian once, surely you understand the difference.

4) Jesus did not read from the King James. I believe His words are in the King James just as they are in the NIV, NASB, ESV etc.....As the King James version of the Bible was first published in 1611, it's illogical to conclude that Jesus read from any Bible.

5) If you want to go there, you might want to move out of your glass house first.

LMAO!!!!!!!

You've done that before, haven't you Witch.

"Psssst. Pull my finger, would ya bub?"

That's an awesome list Witch.

me? I have NO idea what you're talking about. It was the Spirit of the Dog, I tell you. The wife's been feeding him spirit of leftovers again.

Yes, I was confident that that was going to be your reply.  In evolution, the only difference between micro and macro......... is time.

rrrrrrright. Which is why what a person believes about reality is important.

Yes, but what I have come to see is that there is no "difference"  You are speaking about a person's mind.  You do not get to create some other level of reality called "spiritual",  unless of course you have some evidence.

Yes, I know that.  It was a joke.

A joke that makes a VERY good point.  Most Evangelical churches are "primativist".  They believe that they can be the "true" churches and follow the example of the "early Church" (ie. before those awful Roman Catholics ruined everything).  In doing this, they cleave to the Bible which has become, rather than God or Christ and rather than a helpful how to guide, their true god.

The irony is that in order to be like the early church, the first thing you would need to do, is shred your New Testament.  This is, of course, because the early church had no Bible beyond Jewish scripture.  Early Christians had to get by with things such as prophesy and discernment--things that modern Evangelicals think are heresy.  To answer questions like "can we eat food offered to a pagan God?"  They didn't look to an old book.  They discussed, consulted their leaders, prayed and let the Spirit lead them.  To answer current questions like "is it OK to be gay?"  Evangelicals simply consult an old book which, because it was written so long ago, to a different culture and in a different language, they don't understand really at all.

Evangelicalism is so faught with so very many incorrect assumptions and theological gymnastics.  "Faith" really isn't the word for Evangelicalism.  What's the word that describes someone who has been conned?

10 Famous Last Words of atheists ( plus 2 bonus ones)

10) Robert Ingersoll: "O God, if there be a God, save my soul, if I have a soul!"

11) Thomas Payne: "Stay with me, for God's sake; I cannot bear to be left alone ... O Lord, help me! O God, what have I done to suffer so much? What will become of me hereafter?"

12) Caesar Borgia: "While I lived, I provided for everything but death; now I must die, and am unprepared to die.

BB:

You do know that most of those are fabrications, right?

Signs You May Be A Fundy Atheist:

1. You became an atheist when you were 10 years old, based on ideas of God that you learned in Sunday School. Your ideas about God haven't changed since.
2.  
3. You think that the primary aim of an omnibenevolent God is for people to have FUN.
4.  
5. You believe that extra drippy ice-cream is a logical proof against the existence of God, because an omniscient God would know how to stop the ice-cream from being extra drippy, an omnipotent God would have the ability to stop the ice-cream from being extra drippy, and by golly, an omnibenevolent God wouldn't want your ice-cream to be extra drippy.
6.  
7. Although you've memorized a half a dozen proofs that He doesn't exist, you still think you're God's gift to the ignorant masses.
8.  
9. You believe the astronomical size of the universe somehow disproves God, as if God needed a tiny universe in order to exist.
10.  
11. You think questions like, "Can God create a rock so big that He cannot lift it?" and, "Can God will Himself out of existence?" are perfect examples of how to disprove God's omnipotence and ultimately how to disprove God. When someone proves to you the false logic behind the questions (i.e. pitting God's omnipotence against itself), you desperately try to defend the questions, but then give up and go to a different Christian site to ask them.
12.  
13. Related to the above, you spend a great deal of your spare time writing to Christian websites asking them these very questions.
14.  
15. You declare on a public forum that you are "furious at God for not existing."
16.  
17. You spend hours arguing that a-theism actually means "without a belief in God " and not just " belief that there is no god" as if this is a meaningful distinction in real life.
18.  
19. You consistently deny the existence of God because you personally have never seen him but you reject out of hand personal testimony from theists who claim to have experienced God as a reality in their lives.
20.  
21. You can make the existence of pink unicorns the center-piece of a philosophical critique.
22.  
23. You insist that "the burden of proof is on he that alleges/accuses", and "it's impossible to prove a negative", then state "That's what Christians do. They lie. Their most common lie is that they were once atheists." When reminded about the burden of proof bit, you reply with, "Well, prove Christians don't lie!"
24.  
25. You adamantly believe that the "God of the gaps" idea is an essential tenet of orthodox Christian faith espoused by all the great Christian thinkers throughout history.
26.  
27. When you were a child, someone came down with a deadly disease and prayed and prayed for God to take it away. God did not remove the disease and your friend died. You ask other Christians why they had to die when they were such a nice person and never harmed anyone. Dissatisfied with their answers, you suddenly decide that there is no God and that all Christians are nothing but lying, conniving con artists and hypocrites....all that is except for your friend who died.
28.  
29. You call a view held by less than ten percent of the American public "common sense".
30.  
31. You're a spoiled fifteen year old boy who lives in the suburbs and you go into a chat room to declare that, "I know there is no God because no loving God would allow anyone to suffer as much as I...hold on. My cell phone's ringing."
32.  
33. You attack your fellow atheists, who hold the "belief that there is no god", calling them "liars," and state that, "I do not deny the existence of any god. I just don't believe in any." Then you tell someone that their God is "made up." When someone calls you on this, you state, "I never made such a claim."
34.  
35. Going with the definition of "without a belief in God", you insist that all people are born atheists, and that dogs, cats, rocks, and trees are as well. You make statements like, "My dog is an atheist. Ask him about his lack of belief."
36.  
37. You believe that if something cannot be touched, seen, heard, or measured in some way, then it must not exist, yet you fail to see the irony of your calling Christians "narrow-minded".
38.  
39. You say that there is no God and that those who believe in God do so in blind faith, yet your claim that there is no God also rests on blind faith.
40.  
41. While you don't believe in God, you feel justified on bashing God or attacking those who believe in something that you KNOW doesn't exist, fighting against or even discussing about a non-existent being are the symptoms of mental illness!
42.  
43. You complain when Christians appeal to their emotions when justifying their belief in God yet you feel justified on appealing to your emotions for lack of belief in God.
44.  
45. You blame God for the starvation, sickness, pain and suffering in the world...when, indeed, it is MAN's greed, politics, selfishness and apathy that not only causes, but also ignores the sick and the starving masses. We aren't our brothers' keepers....but we should be.

     

i hope you are simply adding to the humourousness of this article by posting this list of fabricated nonsense that has been disproven more times than i can count...

its hard for me to read sarcasm on the internet, so i just want to be sure!!

Witch

I was surprised not to see Charles Darwin's deathbed conversion story up there with the other fabrications.

yeah, thats usually quite popular amongst those who bandy that crap around.

If I remember correctly it was something along the lines of "For the Love of God, will someone PLEASE get this Iguana out of my pyjamas?!"

LOL!!  wow, witch, you are certainly in fine form this evening!!! 

big date tonight??

Hi Star Stuff!

I told you I live in a basically atheist community and I do. I get along fine because nobody in this community feels the need to discuss religion or non religion. I knew more or less nothing about their beliefs until you guys began posting here on the WC. Now I know a little bit and I see some of it in these fundy beliefs of atheists. I'm not looking for an argument. I would still say we are all individuals and that surely holds true in the atheist community too. We shouldn't really stereotype religious or atheistic people.

There's a little bit of bad in the best of us and a little bit of good in the worst of us ......hows that?

Here's a few more:

Full moon tonight, and Uranus is passing through the sign of the Python.

Or it could be too much catnip... hard to say

Witch

I really do think you should seek help for your catnip addiction.  I also think I need to get off the WC while I've a slight shred of sanity left.

Try Royal Crown instead!