You seem unusually wise for someone in their teens.  I wish you well in your pursuit of good health and a good life.

Choose healthy goals for yourself that are balanced and reasonable.  Review those goals every day.  Celebrate successes in ways that add to the success.

Choose to see yourself always as beautiful and loveable, and say this to yourself every day.

Use the Slight Edge Principle:  consistently make choices that fit your chosen destination, and make those choices out of love for yourself, not out of duty to some external principle -- see those choices as steps to your goal, not as obstacles to be overcome.  ("I am eating carrots, broccoli and almonds because they taste good, and they are good for my body, which I love.  A healthy adult female needs to burn at least 2000 to 3000 calories per day for optimum health, so I will eat them and then burn them doing things I enjoy.")

Try to live out of joyful and hopeful anticipation of more good coming your way.

Know that you are not alone.  Find mentors who fit your goals for yourself.

Hiya Gummy.worm - and welcome to the site! I would echo what Jim said - and remind you that having a treat once in awhile is not a bad thing. I would also suggest doing a healthy activity with friends - for example going to the gym or joining a team. Perhaps you could try learning a new sport over the summer. Remember having fun is an important part of being healthy.

Hey G.W. -- what are these "extreme sites" that you are getting exercises from?  I know that there are sites dedicated to promoting anorexia and other self-harming behaviours, and I'd advise you to steer clear of them, even if the exercises look good.  I understand your predicament, though, or at least I can sympathize, just from the point of view of a woman who struggles to approve of her own body.  I find it helps to limit the amount of advertising and "hollywood-type news" that I see - especially magazines...  I love reading People, but it is sooo obsessed with thinness that I can't help having all those images in my head when I look at myself.  It's crazy-making... especially when you discover that a lot of the images aren't even real -- they are digitally "enhanced."

Okay, I'm rambling, but mainly I say -- limit "working out" to five days a week, try to pick forms of exercise that you can either share with a good friend (chatting on treadmill or on a long walk/jog) or expose yourself to the diversity of healthy normal bodies out there (swimming pool/ aerobics class).  Spend time each day giving thanks for all the amazing things your body can do, and treat yourself well!

shalom!

most of the sites have the skinny girl or ana bootcamp diet somewhere on them, and most of the owners have struggled or are currently experiencing an eating disorder. I also rarely listen to, or care about any magazines, but I have a thing for shopping. And the sizes I see are shrinking. Did you know at the store stitches I sometimes barely fit a large? I used to fit a medium. I think that a small part of this is at when I was in elementary school I was tall, and most of the boys would refer to me as ‘king kong’ so I now always view myself as a giant fat kid, even though I’m not that tall anymore. So I have my self loathing, and I’ve stopped cutting and I think that this whole watching calories could get dangerous if I count calories.

My advice would be to stay away from the websites and talk to people in real life. Have you thought about working with a personal trainer? They could help you set goals and give you tips on how to reach them. And seriously consider doing this with a friend or relative - someone who will tell you when you are going too far.

BTW - it is so good that you have stopped cutting! That tells me you have courage and inner strength.

G.W. don't get me started on store sizing!  In some stores I'm a medium and in others (like Stitches!) I need an extra large!  I've found it's better for my ego to stick with the stores that aren't making clothes for size zeroes...

Anything can become obsessive if that's your temptation (I relate -- I obsess over food, my body, etc etc)...  Do you have any professional support for your self esteem issues?  I think it's awesome that you're not cutting -- just hope you have some good support to keep you in a healthy place.

One help can be to find a focus outside of your body -- fill up some time with volunteering, or a creative hobby like painting, gardening, making collages, etc - minimize the amount of time you can stare at your thighs!  :) 

We're cheering for you!

It is very difficult to prescribe a perfect height/weight combination, especially when your body is still developing.

Moderation is key.  Make sure you're not over-eating (i.e. binging), and also that you are not under-eating (starving), and that you are eating a variety of foods.

In general, most restrictive "fad" diets are bad for your health, and only work for a short time.

Also, in general, the less processed or "refined" a food item is, the "healthier" it is, and the more difficult it is to over-eat it to a harmful degree (within reason).

For example, it is difficult to eat "too many" fresh (raw) fruits and vegetables.  They contain so much water and fiber, that any excess amount of them only serves to flush waste and toxins out of your body.

Juices, on the other hand, have the fiber removed, and while still containing high volumes of water, it is possible to overdo it as far as sugars (i.e. calories) are concerned.

Cooking removes water (unless you are boiling -- which instead removes/dilutes nutrients), and also breaks down fiber, and also usually destroys some nutrients from the heat.  The up side is that it kills pathogens (i.e. bacteria, parasites), and with certain vegetables, improves (or enables) digestibility.  The down side is that it is easier to over-consume cooked foods.

Next is refined and processed foods.  This means that raw food ingredients are taken and put through extreme processes to extract certain desired end products.

For example, white flour is the end product from processing wheat, which involves obtaining the grains from the sheaf, removing the chaff from the grain, removing the bran and germ from the grain, and then ground into a fine powder.

The difference between a sheaf of wheat and white flour is considerable, and it is the result of a mechanical process alone.

Other processes can require filtration, chemical extraction, distillation, and combinations thereof with highly refined resulting products.

The question is, what gets lost in the process, and also what gets added?

To sum it all up... eat fresh, unrefined, non-processed foods, and you'll stay healthy (hopefully) ;)

Whatever your diet, never lose your love for food. Savour the aromas, appreciate the taste and the texture, eat slowly and let the flavours burst in your mouth. Embrace new recipes with relish and have fun experimenting. Surround yourself with good conversation and friends that empower who you are and return the favour. Concentrate on what makes YOU happy and quit letting the world tell you who you should be. Tell yourself everyday that you are a unique and wonderful woman.

You may find some good information on this site

sparkpeople.com

They have a varied selection of weight loss helpers - discussion forums, exercise tips, dietary information etc.

Try not to focus on losing weight or getting thinner. Think about your body and how to improve your strength and endurance. Having a strong body will allow you to go through your day with less stress and anxiety, and you will feel more energized and less tired.

When you focus on exercise as a means of gaining strength and power, your body composition will start to change along with increased muscle. Don't think pounds, think about exercise as good for your body and mind.

Remember, fad diets and cleanses are NOT good for you. You need carbs, protein and fats at every meal and eat 5-6 times a day to keep your blood sugar from rising, and falling dramatically. Doing this will help with bad food cravings and afternoon moodiness.

If you feel yourself starting to fall into some unhealthy thought patterns or obsessing over what you are eating or how often you are working out, I would recommend finding a counsellor who can help you through it. When it comes to weight, your mind can play tricks on you and you can start to develop some mistaken beliefs about yourself.

I attended counseling for weight-related issues in my 3rd year of university. My counsellor got me through it and through CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), I got rid of my mistaken beliefs and developed some new, healthier ones.

If you ever want to chat about anything, send me a PM  :)

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. If you focus on health instead of weight I'm sure you'll be o.k. Best wishes on this.