I just want to add that until a heterosexual couple is forced to go through what we're going through, no amount of biblical or arrogant platitutudinal high-handedness will soothe the righteous anger and sadness I feel towards the institutional church.

 Hi! Welcome to the Cafe!  I am so sorry to hear about the situation you and your husband are in!!!  That much be so hard on you both!

I am not sure if I fully understand your frustration, though.  Can you clarify some things?

Sounds like you are angry at the church but it also sounds like the rules for permanent residency in Canada have changed - and that's a federal government jurisdiction, right?   Your husband had to return to his homeland because you are not working full-time, is that right?  Can I ask why you chose to move to Canada to participate in ministry preparation?  Would things have been different for you as a couple in the US?

Yes, separation from your loved one is a kind of hell, without a doubt.  I suspect that I, personally (and this is not judgement on you whatsoever), would choose my relationship over ministry.  Especially because a strong partnership is such an important foundation for ministry.

Blessings to you,

Agnieszka

Welocome to Wondercafe:

Breathe, vent, breathe, vent, etc......

I'm listening

I think your situation is terrible, but I have a few questions.  My understanding is that heterosexual and homosexual marriages are treated exactly the same in Canada.  Are you sure that this change is something that applies only to homosexual couples?  If it is, I think you have grounds to appeal it.  Do you have a legally recognized marriage?  My thinking here is that if you have a common law marriage, it involves living together for a certain length of time, and if you can't live together in the first place due to residency requirements, it will be really hard to make it work.   I also wonder if the fact that you are coming from different countries is part of the situation.  I'm mentioning these possibilities because I think it's important to know 100% exactly what's going on (and maybe you do already...I'm just going on what you've posted) so you can find the right path towards a solution.  It might be that this isn't about sexual orientation at all...but if it is, and if heterosexual couples are really being given different treatment, go after the government.  That's completely wrong.

Yes separation is hard on loved ones.

Now how long is your course? Which church will you be ordianed in?

If UCC I think it's a 3 year program-I wonder if internship year-counts as a full time job?

Welcome to the Cafe - I'm glad you've found us. I hope you will stick around and share more of your story.

hello paynedaniel,

I'm somewhat familiar with our immigration system in this country - same-sex couples do have the same rights as opposite-sex couples in terms of our immigration and citizenship department is concerned.

You are probably very familiar with the rules concerning the need to demonstrate the bona fide nature of your marital status. Although the overwhelming majority of applications are genuine, some people marry in order to get to Canada, dumping their spouse and incurring bills for that person in the process. It's rumoured that some people have been paid to marry and sponsor a prospective spouse as well.

I'm guessing, based on the very limited information you have provided and obviously could be wrong, that you and your partner have failed to satisfy immigration that your relationship is genuine and that's why your partner has been denied entry. If that's the case, and you want to pursue it further, send me a wondermail (the Wondercafe internal messaging system) and we can discuss it further. Even if it's not the case and you want to talk more, just drop me a note.

Take care,

MO5