Not every needs to or should go to university. I wish we had a system like the Brits do where they can leave school at 16 and enter into a profession. A lot of kids leave school around 16ish here so that would be a benefit. We need more apprenticeship opportunities as well.

I think we need to encourage college just as much as university. We need more trades people! All jobs have their value.

Kwind

My parents made it clear that not going to university was not an option.

Are we counting Colleges in here, because I'd likely prefer if my kid went to a good college rather than a University. Sure I went to University, but by the time I realized what that was all about I was too far in debt to cut my losses and take a college program or two. I also work for a college, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

I agree that there needs to be a lot more recognition taht not everyone is suited to University. ANd that needs to happen in our school system.

ANd is it just me or is it unrealistic to say taht options 2 & 3 are mutually exclusive. I would likely be disappointed but would also remember that it is the child's choice. Therefore I would be fine with it.

I'll be finishing paying my student loan the year after my son would start post-secondary education. I don't see university in his future. College tuitions are increasing too, so I hope that we can afford something when the time comes. At the rate that post-secondary school costs are increasing, who knows how much it is going to cost in 9 years.

I don't have kids, but since I work with them, I feel justified in jumping in here...

I very much support Kwind's comments.

I also support GordW's comments about how a parent can be a little disappointed but at the same time be fine with the decision.

Has anyone read the book Ivory Tower Blues? Its written by two Canadian university professors who talk about how we're messing up universities by expecting everyone to go to them.

I'd be upset if my daughter didn't go because I know its right for her (in terms of interests and abilities and she would not know what she was missing). With our son, it's a totally different story and he will find the best fit and be so happy taking a trade school route.

It makes no sense at all for all children to go to any one place post highschool. They should be following THEIR interests and what is best for their own growth and potential goals, not their parents!

We have one who did attend, but has had a 1 1/2 year break and is now planning to finish her degree at a different university in a different part of the country. One is just starting a trades course at a community college (also far from home) after travelling and working for 2 years. The third is just 18 and is taking a year off by travelling for a few months this fall. We were disappointed when our first wanted to "take a break"--we both have degrees, but they are in "practical" professions and have always been a little bit confused about our daughter's goal of a bachelor of arts degree. With the second and third (our sons) we have been more accepting of options other than university, while still trying to help them as they find their way in the world. I like the British idea of a "gap year".

I'm in the GordW camp here, regarding how we can be allowed our disappointment regarding our children's education choice, while still supporting what stream they choose to enter. I also want to point out that some folks will always be more adept at tuning a motor than defending a thesis. Both the dcotoral academic who turns up the thermostat and the licenced HVAC technician who installed the heating/cooling system play an essential role in our little tribe. Both are payed relatively well and have the opportunity to move as far up the ladder in their field as time, money and circumstances will allow. Statistically, those with university degrees make more than college graduates or tradespeople. But that is a broad statistic that does not always apply, nor is it relative to being happy and doing what is best for you.

Speaking personally, my son is an honours student who has a bright future, so if he suddenly changed his mind about going to university I would be dissapointed. Now if my daughter chose not to go to university I would be okay with that since her strength is not school. I would encourage her to complete some form of trade school though.

Some people decide not to go to university because it's too expensive. So, I'm curious: Of those who went to any post-secondary institution, who here had student loans? Who paid their own way by either working or by having money set aside? Who had their parents pay? Combinations?

I paid my own way through school, with student loans and living at home much of the time. I also got some bursaries and after my first degree had scholarships for the graduate ones (courtesy of the US government). I had a debt of $20k or so but which I was thankfully able to pay off in the first couple of years.

For my kids, we have RESPs and hope they will live at home. It's not the tuition that kills you (really about the same as a new car loan but unlike a car, its an investment), but the cost of living without an income for four years (if one can't live with family).

I think that the question presumes a great deal. In my household, at least, post-secondary education is a huge luxury that likely will not even be possible. It will not involve a decision by my children. We have one income that pays all the bills (if we're lucky). I accepted long ago that retirement was also a luxury that I wouldn't be able to afford. I will always need to work to maintain housing and living expenses.

So my kids will need to get jobs after high school and save their money if they would like to have a "choice" to go back to school.

"So my kids will need to get jobs after high school and save their money if they would like to have a "choice" to go back to school."

That's well-put and I understand your position. I think the only way I in good conscience could *expect* my child to go to university is to either offer the money to do so or come up with options for how they might get that money themselves "” through working full-time until they can pull some together, getting student loans, working part-time while they go to school, or a combination of these. Still, though, even if I had the money I think I would be totally fine with their decision no matter what it is. It's no reflection on me or on them.

This question, and the answers available, reminds me that there's always been a bit of snobbery attached to university ("You'll never get a good job without a degree") which I think makes an awful lot of assumptions about social hierarchies.

I still would love to go myself but unless a money tree grows in the backyard...

I would be a bit dishearted but it would depend on the why? Children often try not to be like their parents in so many areas, and so if they didn't go due to not wanting to starve themselfs and such like we do then I would understand but at the same time I would give up my own desire to go to school and perhapse sell the house or something to pay for their education. I wouldn't want my childrens dreams to be crushed because they can't reach the carrot dangling in front of them as I know how that feels.

Smote said:
Now if my daughter chose not to go to university I would be okay with that since her strength is not school. I would encourage her to complete some form of trade school though.
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Sory to nitpick, but as someone who works for a trade college, I feel like I should point out that if school isn't her thing, then perhaps a trade school is also not her thing. In just one year, I've already seen students roll in here thinking they'll be welders, or Millwrights, or Office workers, etc and then fail out because, of course, they have to do things like math (there's far more of it in industrial trades than people think), business, and communications courses. Also, the most popular trades now are IT trades and Engineering technology programs, both of which are highly technical. Not just that, but a regular course load here is 7 or 8 courses a semester, as opposed to the University 5 or 6, so it's a little out-dated this day and age to think trade schools are still the way to go for people not gifted in school.

I hope that both my kids will make the best decision for themselves. When I went, I lived at home, tuition was about $700 I think.

One thing to keep in mind for financial support is that there are a ton of scholarships out there. Universities offer 1 5ooo for good marks( perhaps more, not sure). COmpanies offer money. THere is a web site that you can register with. Some are full financing others several hundred dollars.

I know for sure there are some for ministers kids, Cupe members kids,

Some require essays, others marks. Many are not given out annually because they don't get applications.

Can I just point out that, as a university-age student, the cost of tuition (always rising) makes it really had for a lot of Canadians to go to school? It seems a bit ignorant to ask "if my child" when a lot of families might dream of being able to afford post-secondary.
-david

'twas not me, 'twas taradawn. And I just deleted a defense for a post I never made! So Canadian.

I have three adult children. One saw her way through university to a degree, one had a lot of fun, but ended his experience after the year, and one attended college until a teacher's strike and never went back. They are all well adjusted, all doing well in life and it has not hurt any of them. My son is a very intelligent guy who always had problems with the games teachers play. He is largely self-taught and thrives in the business community in a management role, currently supervising 250 people at the age of 28. University, I feel would have stifled him and driven him crazy at this stage of his life. He will and does learn what he needs to learn on the fly. He has taught me that university is not for everyone. I admire his abilities to run counter to the norm. He often thinks outside the box and university does not always encourage that gift.
My daughter who is a graduate is also a graduate and is in a successful career in middle management with a large telecommunication company. She left university having enough for a general BA, although she was in the honours BA program. She went because a career opportunity opened up from summer employment. She has not looked back. Did she need university training? Probably only to open a door a little quicker. A couple of her friends who stayed on for the fourth year reflected to her that she was wise to end it when she did. They wish that they had as it never seemed to help them much.
Our daughter who left college after a strike has done pretty well while she was in employment. She is now a fulltime mother, but is always open to expanding her opportunities when the time comes that her children are more on their own.
I am a graduate of both college and university and have had two careers in the chemical industry and latterly in the church as a ordained minister. For me education was a means to an end. My lifetime has been spent in learning, often after reflecting on life experiences. To me that is the most important way to be rather than thinking that 3 or 4 years in university is all that I ever need. I think my adult children have each picked that truth up.

I can't seem to delete my post and post a fixed one. Sorry for misattributing that Smote.

Not a problem. I still find it amusing that I apologized right away and didn't bother to listen to the wee voice inside saying "did I really write that? how unlike me!"

I wouldn't mind but i'm sure they will these days with all these videos online of college kids having fun away at school i'd be shocked if my kids didn't want to go, as long as they don't try to pull something on me and get a fake college degree i'm fine with their choice but i'm sure they'll go.

University isn't everyone's cup of tea.  Some people are more technically oriented and are better suited to apprentise positions or community college/career colleges.  Tuition costs being what they are, a career oriented secondary education might be more beneficial and, if the person chooses to take university courses later, they may do so.  I've stretched my university studies over four decades (everyone needs a hobby).  To each his own.

I might not have children, but I am a so called "child" that is in first year university, and I have decided to drop out because it is not for me. I could do very well in university if I had my heart in it, which I do not. It is definitely not for everyone, and I think parents should let their "child", which should be an adult by then, choose what they want to do and figure their lives out on their own. If you raised them well, they should choose something eventually that makes them happiest and successful.