Christchurch, NZ -- AP Reuters Frooty-Tootie Dork Sith.

The Kiwi nation was blessed with a caress from Mother Nature at 0435, bringing both Whites and Maori together in a red sticky mess.

"Our plan is almost coming to fruition," said a local member of HAARP, "with this earthquake, Tesla's theories are vindicated, yet again."

All hail the Second Coming of the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords!
 

Jerusalem Isis here with the latest in the late late early news!

Quick, learn how to SCUBA and be blessed by the Lamb (with Sharp, Nasty Teeth!)
 

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2007/05/23/virginbirth_ani.html

Or, maybe, yanno, since we're all such a muddle-headed species...maybe they got it wrong...