After reading 1,006 books concerning the matter, I have realized that I am not nearly as pompous as I should be. Being absolutely correct in all my opinions I realize that compared to me you are all ignorent dregs on society - but I am prepared to straighten you all out.

You are stupid people, proven by the fact that you are readng this! 

So...state an opinion of yours and I will, with caustic derision, prove you completely wrong.

Posting on this thread proves your inferiority to my wonderous brain-power.

'tis the day after Mother's Day and all through the morn,
 Were clues and signs that our house has returned to the norm. 
The "angels" that just yesterday flowers were picking,
Have returned to their laziness and constant bickering.
The bed in which yesterday's breakfast was served,
Was the scene of at least one snarly word. 
Then what knowledge to my frazzled mind should come?
"Your Diva Day is over, get busy MOM!" 

I need some movie suggestions.  The group in question is grades 5-8, so 11-14 years old.  Plus my daughter, who is 5 going on 30.  I don't care whether the movie is religious or not, or has any redeeming social value, but I would like to avoid getting in trouble with parents (including my wife).

Any ideas?