Love Making Tips For Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

8. Make all the noise you want...the neighbors are deaf, too.

9.

Congratulations, Canadians!  Your smugness has been recognized internationally.

Here's the news story:

http://www.canada.com/news/Environmentalists+Canada+colossal+fossil/2357...

And as we Canadians have a sense of humour ingrained into our very DNA, laugh with ourselves :3

Just a Self-writing poem,

Inannawhimsey

and love from Pandemonium (who always forgets her password)

FACT:    79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now...

FACT:    58,000,000 are kissing.

FACT:    37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.

A smile for a gray, snowy day

 Humour alert. This is a making fun of Homophobic people, not effeminate boys.  OK

Rick Mercer has done so much to get Canadians to notice themselves.  Do you think we could get the Rick Mercer Report to do a segment on the United Church?  If so, what would he do?  He seems to love doing zany, creative things.  For example, the Johnson's cranberry bog is what you'd expect:  flooded fields of cranberries.  What did he do?  He kneeboarded through the bog, pulled by a tractor.  It was priceless!

Sarah Silverman has started a campaign to end world hunger!

In my email box today - my friends know me way too well

AAADD
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS...PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

This thread is inspired by something Pilgrim's Progress mentioned in another thread. 

What if you could choose to wear a tshirt with a quote or statement on it when you die?  What would that statement or quote be?

This is similar to choosing what you would have engraved on your grave marker, I guess.

There are so many to choose from....

Mine might be -- "So I'm dead.  Get used to it."

This is meant to be fun, not to offend.